Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Lesson(s) learned?

Oh the things that have happened the last 4 months since I updated. Its been too long. Sorry. I don't even know what's been going on.  But I needed to get on here and vent. Or whatever the positive version of this is.

Twice in two months I've had expensive things taken from my car. I'm partly at fault, since the first time I would bet $1 million that my car was locked, last night it wasn't. But really.. the year and a half we've lived here and NOW someone is being a jerk and taking things, consistently. I digress.

So, since the first time when my beautiful DSLR camera, lenses, memory cards, bag, etc were all stolen, I tried to be forgiving to the evil thief that felt the need to take it. And felt like I did. Mostly because my husband caved and bought me a new one, and yeah. It sucks. But, whatever.

Now this one. Seriously? My wallet, my empty of cash or anything valuable wallet. Cards, yes. Cancelled cards now, yes. My ID, which I'll have to replace for the 5th time (I'm serious). Annnd thats all that MIGHT have been valuable. Chris' brand new iPhone 6 that was damaged and in a fed ex box ready to ship to Apple. $750 phone. In an unmarked box. What. The. Heck. And then my tablet. My nexus tablet I wasn't even happy to get, but I've loved it. I find myself looking for it now. Ugh. Dependence. $1000 worth of stuff was taken. Again. AGAIN.

Really?

I try to be optimistic. I try to realize I can learn something. Why did this happen? Again? Why, why, why? My brain comes back to learning to lock my car. HEY Haley ! Lock YOUR freaking CAR ! But really? That's my take-away. That's what God wants me to learn? Really?

Then maybe it's so these lowlifes have their agency and choices to make bad decisions they'll be judged for later. So, how can bad people be bad if they don't have a way to be bad. Ugh. Pick someone else. Pick another car to steal from that hasn't had to deal with it yet.

Or am I too distracted by electronics & materialistic things? Is this another material thing disappearing to see how I respond to "things" being taken? Is that it?

I was reading an article tonight that was about bad things happening to good people. And obviously that article can apply to WAY worse things good people deal with, abuse, health issues, death, murder, accidents, fires, etc etc. Some things that I've had to deal with in life have been way worse than having things taken. But really, that doesn't diminish what we're dealing with. It's only compounded by all this other crap going on too.

But one of the "reasons" the article said was "to prove we can let go, and let God."


"When we are blessed with trials, sometimes they affect our lives with an inability to eat properly or sleep soundly. That is the time to pray and turn it over to him. Ask him to take over just for the night, allow you to get a solid night's sleep, and then assure him that you will take back over in the morning and sort things out."


I'm not sure if I'm losing sleep about this. Probably because it hasn't even been 24 hours. I can tell you, I do have to make myself eat. This just adds another thing on the list of things I'm already stressed about. Now it's what if, what else can these bad people do? What are the chances it would happen to me twice, what are the chances something worse will happen? That's a great way to think. And that's why the paragraph above made such an impact on me. Turn it over. I need to check my faith. I need to count the blessings, instead of count the ways things can (and probably will) go wrong. And to the point. I, for me, not you, need to make a list and SEE what else could have gone wrong or still can, but didn't. I need to count my blessings.

My car could have been broken/damaged in some way. It was luckily just trashed.
My house was unlocked. Oh the possibilities.
My family was safe, IS safe.
My camera was NOT left in the car. That thing follows me like a shadow (see I am learning!)
I don't carry cash in my wallet. Zero. Zip. My photoshoot money was.. in my pocket.
They didn't rip out my radio/head unit. (Material I know but a pain to replace or not have)
They cleaned out my purse for me. (except I put it all right back)
I still have my phone (sorry chris)
He still has his iPad.
I'm pretty sure that little voice that said "get your purse, get the iphone box, get your tablet" wasn't idle silly thoughts. LISTEN to those. (Is that the take-away?)
I do have an extra license floating around my house somewhere..
I get to buy a new wallet that I like and isn't stupid and cheap.
I get to get ANOTHER Temple Recommend. Maybe I need a refresher, 3rd times the charm in such a short time right?
Maybe I need to relax on the connected-ness of my life.

Maybe I should print this and over the course of the next days, weeks, whatever, look over it and remind myself what could have happened. What I need to remember. What I need to be thankful for. Maybe that's the take-away.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Is anyone there?

Hello world. I know, I know. You've missed me. What the heck ! It's been forever. I guess you could say life got busy. But that's a little of an understatement. Life has been insane ! Ridiculous, whatever you want to say.

Ever since Chris left, its been one thing after the next and just so much to do and only one me to do it! Logan obviously keeps me busy anyways, but having to juggle him, work, home, errands, calling, any type of social life, AH. I sing your praises all you single working moms who do this ALL. THE. TIME. ::bowing to the floor:: "I am not worthy!" You're awesome.

Logan and I have had 3 plane trips the last 2 months (less than!?). 13 flights (from take off to landing). I need to add up the miles. He really is the best traveler. So good. Even if he's a little fussy, he's not the crying kid for 3 hours. He lets me throw him in his stroller and run across the airport. Speaking of that, don't fly into Atlanta. I officially hate that airport, and the people hate me. Or at least aren't personable and don't care if I say anything. Rude.

Ok, so first off. We've adjusted ok to Chris being gone. Logan has the best baby sitter who just jumps right in and takes care of him. We love Abby. And work is work. Same old. Still having stupid hiccups in cells growing, as usual, but nothing earth shattering. We did get published again. Woot!

We went to Utah for my moms wedding. That was a roller coaster of a week. It was really great to be around family, and see everyone, and mostly everyone to see Logan. I love the traditions we have with my mom's side of the family and I really want for my kids to experience those. So it's a huge blessing to be able to go out. Not sure how much more we're going to be able to seeing as tickets are ridiculous and he will start needing his own next year. But we got to run around and see friends, and SLC, and temples and eat yummy food. I was able to go to the new Brigham City Temple and recharge, and even church on Sunday gave me a little boost. Life gets tough sometimes, and especially when I'm out of my environment. But I survived. It was a good trip.

Came home, back to work for a week, a whole week ! And then we were off again to go see Chris. I had to get down to see him. It had been a month. I was going crazy. I decided it would be cute to be down there over Father's Day. The trip was good, in the idea that I got to see Chris, and spend a little bit of time with him, but with him working, and weird hours, and then even Tuesday when he took off of work, we didn't do anything, but sleep, and lounge, which is nice. It's nice to just have him there next to me. But I wish it was longer, I wish we could have spent more time together. Logan was just warming up to him after the first 2 days, and then we left 2 days later. Poor kid. Chris had a blast watching him though. I guess he does all kinds of crazy things now, which I don't realize when they started so they aren't new to me. But he loves it.  He really is such a fun kid, and so funny. Makes me laugh all the time.

And then we're here now. Just more work. Busy getting stuff planned and re planned and unplanned for Madison. She gets home today and it so exciting! A year and half went by SO fast. It's mind boggling. But she'll be here tonight. And then starts the whirlwind of three weeks until the wedding. I'm excited about doing their pictures. I think they're going to be really cute and fun to capture. I feel like couples would be anyways because they're so in love, and these two are cute and goofy and just SO excited to be back together. I'm excited for them. It's all going to come together, and whatever doesn't, doesn't matter. What matters are two people, who have served the Lord for 2 years, and remained worthy to go to the Temple and be sealed for eternity. Nothing else matters. I hope everyone remembers that.

So work. Normal life. Youth stuff. Which just seems to keep getting worse. One day we'll have a break. I just keep thinking every diligent thing is another drop in my lamp of preparation, another lesson, another activity, another drop. Blessing in Heaven. Motivation.  Just keeping busy until the NEXT trip in 3 weeks, nope 2 1/2 weeks. UGH. Luckily this one is driving, which I don't know if that's better or worse. Whatever. DC, NJ, NY. Woo. Weddings. Sealings. Beach. Friends. So excited. So proud.

OH and ya know, somewhere in the mix Chris and I reached 4 years. Happy anniversary to us. June 11. Good times. We didn't do anything obviously. His mom dropped off flowers for me because Chris is too sweet. I went and flew to see him, so he can just be happy with that ! But, now I guess I gotta update the banner for the blog again. Now we're 4 years down, eternity to go. Weird. Had this blog for three years. Fun fun !

Thursday, May 15, 2014

"And it will surprise you what the Lord has done."

It's been a while since I've posted. This last... month and a half have been super busy and chaotic and every time I think I'm at the end of it, I'm clearly not. So apologies my avid readers ;]

I had this next post all planned out in my head, and i was going to rattle off all the insane things that have been going on, that have been happening to me and around me, all the busy-ness (business, busy-ness, interesting). And mostly in my head it would be "oh poor Haley, look at all this she's had to deal with, poor her, waaaah" and that's not what I want. So instead, last night another post popped into my head. I'm going to go through the same insane activities and occurances but list the blessings. List the happy things.

April consisted of SO many church activities. SO many. But looking back at my calendar, all in one week, I learned a wonderful lesson on Easter at enrichment. I got to hear a different perspective to the same story. I also go to share with the young women at their meeting Wednesday night, Mutual, some of that same activity, but also my deep testimony of the Atonement and how much the Savior's life and death mean to me personally. It's been a while. It was nice to see that in check.

We also had Stake Conference with an Area Seventy (a higher up position, it's almost like a celebrity has come to church, well and LDS one at least) and he was wonderful. I got to share my testimony again through song accompanying the incredible Robert Harrison.

"He lives! All glory to his name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:
'I know that my Redeemer lives!'"

Then baby showers. I love seeing the women come together to shower someone with love. We love babies. We love that renewal of life, that chance to have something straight from Heaven, the pure, the innocent. I bet Heaven's like that. We need to be good and get there.

We also had a Temple Fireside for the youth I planned. It was hectic. People didn't show up. People didn't tell me they weren't showing up. But it all worked out. I thought it went wonderfully. The spirit was incredible. The youth were able to listen to "stories" from people through recent history and who were waiting for their temple work to be done. And the youth were able to participate in their saving ordinances by having done their temple work with the card they were handed out. I might post more details of this later. But it was really great. So many people stepped up to help me in a ward where I'm getting tired of the lack of participation. Thank you for proving me wrong and helping bear testimony to our youth of the importance of find their ancestors and taking their names to the Temple !

Then came preparing a talk. For Easter. Bring out the big guns. AH! I'm too little to have that pressure. As the closing speaker. AH. And musical numbers we have to get together. It was a little crazy. I got to speak after Sis. Shehl and she's incredible. I almost wanted to say ditto, amen. And sit down. But I was challenged in finding a different way to present the Easter story. I didn't want it to be the same "He died, three days passed, He rose" thing we hear every year. But I was able to read a LOT about the culture, and trial, the manipulation and I gained such a deep appreciation for all our Savior suffered. Not just the obvious in the Garden and on the Cross. There was so much that went into those last few days of His life. Go study. It's incredible. And studying what the Apostles and Prophets have said concerned the resurrection and Christ's death, and life. Their amazing testimonies. I could have read those for days !

Then another youth activity I planned. A service scavenger hunt. And it was hard to find homes willing to allow a bunch of rowdy youth to come "clean" and do service. But we had more than enough service opportunities. And they had fun. I heard all laughing and stories when they got back. I'm glad they had a chance to help members in our area.

I then had the work trip to San Diego. Awesome. Long. Tiring. But it was beautiful. It was so fun to spend time with family and have a blast with them. I miss them all the time. And especially to attend church if even for 15 mins to take Sacrament in a Spanish branch. That was such a sweet experience to me. Not really knowing what people were saying but a few words here and there, but knowing that same Spirit. Such tender mercies. Logan is such an incredible traveler too. He really is the best kid ever.

Then we had his birthday, which I had to scramble to get done. But even though I was finishing stuff as people were showing up, and I didn't get to shower, we felt of the love of so many that came and adore my little boy. We're so spoiled to have so many close family and friends to love and squeeze him. He doesn't know how lucky he has it. It was the cutest party, if I say so myself. And once again, so grateful for so many who came over and helped out. It would not have happened.

Then Chris graduated. So happy that's over. I'm so excited to move forward to our next step. I'm so grateful for how hard he worked and was able to finish in 4 years with 2 minors. He's a rockstar. With graduation though came him leaving as well. It was the hardest to say goodbye, and watch him say goodbye to Logan who has no idea what's going on. But we've prayed a lot and asking for protection and I know we will be. I know everything will be ok. Given that..

Logan had a seizure Thursday night after Chris' graduation party. Most likely was febrile from a fever he had from shots the day before, even though I don't think he had a fever and at the ER in triage he was only comin up at 100.5 but what do I know... I did't go to med school or anything type of doctor/nurse school. But that was heart wrenching. And the incredible blessing from that scary (the scariest) moment was our family coming together. Chris and I talked a lot about our testimony and faith, the covenants we made in the Temple that include Logan. We are sealed for time and ALL eternity. No matter what happens to us in this life. Even if for any horrible reason, Logan is ripped from us, it's only for a moment and I will get my little boy again. And it really made us stop and think what's important and what we're spending time on. I love my family. I'm so thankful for the Temple, for the sealing I had there, and the power of the Priesthood that has been restored and makes it all possible. Families ARE forever.

And then right before Chris took off, I apparently had an ovarian cyst rupture. Oh goodie. We had no idea what it was at first. I would have swore I was having a 20min contraction. And then the next day or two I was so sore all over my abdomen, and bloated and in pain. Finally got an ultrasound at my OB and then sent me to Cabell for a CT to rule out appendicitis. Really? 48hrs after Chris leaves and surgery is on the table? Awesome. Luckily the CT ruled out appendicitis and the fluid seen on the ultrasound was blood and explains the bloated soreness. And it was just a cyst that ruptured. So no surgery. Just pain. And time to reabsorb the fluid and antibiotics so I don't die. From this I'm so thankful I don't have to have surgery. How easily it could have been so much worse. Without my husband. And again how grateful I am for so many who stepped up and offered help, who just stopped by. The wonderful Priesthood holders we have close to give me and my crying baby a blessing while Chris is away. Poor Logan has had a fever for a few days and been forced to take Advil and Tylenol, which he hates. But I'm so afraid of another seizure. But, thank goodness, I discovered to little molars poking through the back of his mouth. Now I know why he's miserable; it's not some unknown disease that will give him fevers and seizures and there's no way to fix it.

I can't even list all the blessings we've been given these last few weeks. Even at some points the only blessings are peace and comfort, but oh how those can mean more than mountains of money, or whatever things you think you need.

I'm so thankful for my Savior. For all the went through and suffered so I can go to Him in times like now, when I feel alone, and hurting, and need comfort. And He comes through. In the Book of Mormon, in Alma chapter 7, verse 11 it says:  And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

I know this to be true. All I've been going through, the good and the bad, has been to learn more about Him, about me, about His ways, about this amazing Gospel.

Even in the midst of trial I can finally say just as Paul did: I am filled with comfort, I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation [2 Cor 7:4].

So before you (or maybe it's just me) start to list out your trials and tribulations and seek comfort from those around you in pity and sympathy, instead count your blessings, and receive the only comfort that is true and real. I listened to this hymn this morning and it's helped pick me up today. Go enjoy a listen :] Count Your Blessings. You won't be sorry.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Hello Spring... I hope

So a month flew by. No joke. Where did it go? How is it almost the end of March ! ah ! I'm too busy for my own good.

I'm sure not much has been going on and that's why I haven't updated. Or that's what I tell myself.

Chris only has like 4 or 5 weeks of actual class left. What !! So excited. He went and had to register for graduation, and sign up for all this weird stuff, and got his tassel. It was fun. SO excited. Except I'm not because he's probably leaving me the day after graduation to go to Arkansas for work. COOL. (sarcasm, in case you don't get that) But there's a LOT of money potential. And... yeah that's all the positives I can give you. Money. So we'll pretty much pay off debt and then some, in the perfect scenario. But I won't have a husband for 3 months. I'll be a single mom. A single working mom. Ugh. Shoot me now. I think we have Logan's daycare sorta taken care of, possibly. And that was my biggest concern. Especially since it was going to be at least $2500. So yay for that problem gone. Other than that there are just negatives. He may or may not make it to Maddies wedding. Which sucks. He is probably not going to come to Utah. No, he's not coming. No probably. Not coming to San Diego. Not going to be here in general, anniversaries, birthdays. Luckily he'll be here for Logans, or I'll kill him.

Logan time. Happy time. He hasn't been sleeping super well. Yay for me. ie last night he went to bed at 930, up at 11 but right back down. Up at 1230, fed and back down. Up screaming at 130... and we're up. Screaming. Finally i lay in our bed with him listening to lullaby music and at some point before 230 he fell back asleep, sideways. And we tossed and turned all night. Joy. And every day has been insanely busy and I'm tired. But do I get a break? or a nap? nah... moms don't do that right? Other than sleep, he's adorable. Growing so fast. He's so close to walking. He'll reach for something and be a step away and start to step but panic and just fall log a chopped down tree into the couch, or us or whatever he was going for. So close to taking steps. And he looooves screaming. Anytime he's excited, high pitched ears bleeding screams. So funny. He LOVES water. LOVES LOVES LOVES. Anytime a faucet is on, he comes crawling and screaming. He has to play in it. Can't just watch it. He's started to try and climb over the edge of the tub, lifts his fat little leg, not quite high enough thank goodness. And he just plays and plays in the tub. Flops around, splashes, belly to back, and falling all over. He's such a fun kid. Just not last night.

Had to get in the water at Angel's Bday dinner. 
And then screamed when he had to get out.

We bought a fancy DSLR camera with some of our tax money. Ugh. So much money. We've talked about one for years. And finally caved. Because we keep talking about it. We really do want to use it and get good. And I know it's a thing right now, but it's been a thing I've wanted to do since high school, but I'd love to have a little thing on the side and do family shoots, seniors, babies, engagements. I'm too scared to ever say weddings. But maybe one day when we're good enough :] We've just messed around with taking Logan's pics and two senior ones. And for every 20 shots I think there's one perfect one. Not bad. For beginner with no training. Just reading online and getting out there. Hopefully one day it will be for every 20 shots there's only one bad one !

And that's my life right now. Work is always the same. Getting excited for our conference in San Diego next month ! Summer will be interesting. At least I have Utah at the end of May (my mom's getting married! Yay!!) And then a little loop through the east coast from DC to NJ to NY back here. Weddings. Two. In a row. Fun fun ! And then getting my husband back. So far I have nothing going on in June, if anyone has anything they want me to come to lemme know !

I'll write more later when its not 11:54am and I'm starving. Toodles !

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Our New Beginnings Come Unto Christ: Diamonds in the Rough 2014

We had our ward New Beginning's last night. We did the (typical, I'm noticing) theme of "Diamonds in the Rough" that I'm seeing everywhere.  I don't feel bad doing the same as a lot of other places, because the girls like glitzy glam stuff and its fancy, and it goes SO well with the youth theme this year of "Come unto Christ and be perfected in Him."  I love the idea of our hidden potential to become perfect beautiful diamonds if we come unto Christ, allow the trials and pressures of life work on us, and become shaped into something beautiful.

We invited all the parents, family members, and bishopric to come enjoy in this evening.  Of course we had fancy invitations that we handed out a few weeks prior and mailed to those we didn't catch at church.


Fancy schmancy! 

Then we set out to decorate the black and white and light pink the girls requested. We are so blessed to have wonderful sisters in our ward who have collected decorations over the years from weddings, and proms and whatever events and we got to pick and choose from their stash. So lucky ! And we came up with the following:

The program table. (Iron needed, I know!) Got the Theme print out here.





Absolutely loved the idea of the girls pictures surrounding Christ. They were excited to see their pictures and take them home.  This was probably my favorite part. 



The table post closing prayer. Excuse the mess :]


Oh and admire my awesome cupcakes I made. Um.. yummy? First time with fancy frosting and I love it!


The program was very simple. We didn't want a long program, hours into an already long Sunday. We had a talk by our YW President, introducing the theme for the night, Diamonds in the Rough, and talked about the diamond process and how we can relate this to Coming unto Christ.  We also had a talk by the YW Secretary who's over the Personal Progress and her talk was on... Personal Progress! And how we can Come unto Christ through Personal Progress. Which you can get more info here.

From here we turned the time over to the YW and they presented Jenny Phillips program "Come Unto Christ" which can be found on her website.  We just swapped out her music for ours, for time constraints of learning the songs and we have instrument talent we wanted to show case.

But we did have the girls learn and sing the theme song, Come Unto Christ (so good!) and an arrangement of I'm Trying to be like Jesus with a beautiful vilolin part, and a few more Christ related songs. 

After that we presented a homemade "Mormon Message" by yours truely (that I wanted to make for my faith project). We previously recorded the girls answering the questions: What does it mean to Come unto Christ, how do you plan to come unto Christ and how has/does Personal Progress help you come unto Christ? I then did some snazzy editing in iMovie (woo!) and smashed it all together and go this! 


You can also go to the YouTube link here!
All credit goes to the artists for their pictures & the song is the minus track of Come unto Christ.
It was so incredible to make this video. Being able to sit in on their testimonies and here their answers was amazing. I had to be very aware, because I'd get teary eyed but couldn't cry since sniffles wouldn't be easy to edit out of the video! 

We also made them tiles with cut vinyl (shout out to my awesome cricut!) and had each one for the girls. 


Simple. Nothing fancy. We just wanted something for the girls to take home. Tied to the back is a copy of the video I made in a little sleeve so they can keep it forever and watch it everyday, right girls?


All in all, it was a very stressful event. We had SO many mishaps along the way. Nothing big, but just one thing after the other. The poor YW president and I were so ready to rip our hair out. But by the end we knew it was just Satan trying to frustrate the whole evening and stop us from having this event. Which we knew the Lord wanted so we persevered and survived ! And loved it. So many stories and memories. 

Here's one for the road ;]


Oh that happened. ::shivers::

It was a wonderful night. With wonderful girls and the wonderful spirit. I loved seeing the girls showcase their talents and testimony. And hearing the rave reviews of the night from so many. I love being back in this calling !


Our beautiful girls !

Thursday, February 20, 2014

To food, or not to food?

I had this thought a few weeks ago. I've been trying to figure out how to say this.

In the past few years, decade, whatever, people have become more health conscious.  All natural, organic, free range, grain fed, no genetically modified, pesticide blahblahblah. There's movements, movies, groups, songs [maybe not] all about the horrible things in our food and the horrible things you are then putting into your bodies.

While I'm not saying we shouldn't be worried, or wary, or conscious about the GM foods, high fructose corn syrup and whatever else people are up in arms about, I thought of some other things we take into our bodies, that aren't as good.. But we aren't picketing these things.

So here's my picket sign.

Maybe because I'm getting old. Maybe because I have "mature" [haha] taste.

Do you stop and think about the music you listen to? What about the movies? What's the language like, the scenes? What about those friends you choose to be around? I'm not talking about the school hall talk; obviously you can't control that and you need to be in school or work. But when you choose to be around those people.

The standards for members of the church have been set forth in the "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet, which surprisingly isn't just for youth.  In the entertainment & media section, the First Presidency has stated, "Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in anything that presents immorality or violence as acceptable. Have the courage to walk out of a movie, change your music, or turn off a computer, television, or mobile device if what you see or hear drives away the Spirit." 

Pretty straight forward?

There is more information in other sections, language, music & dancing, friends, etc. We've been directed by modern Prophets on what things to allow "into our bodies" and what things to stay away from. 

So where are the news crews headlining this? Where are the documentaries, the protesters demanding awareness for these spiritually detrimental things we allow in our bodies, our families, our children? 


Food for thought. 

[pun intended]   

Monday, February 10, 2014

Quickly

I probably shouldn't update when I'm feeling frustrated. I'm afraid you'll sense the angst in my writing and it won't be fun. Well, I hope my normal writing is fun.

I just thought I'd put a quick update on here. Nothing big going on.

Logan is officially a crawler. Almost a week now. He just decided one day that he wanted to crawl. And then he did. No learning. No awkward attempts. Just mastered it. Bam. 24 hours and he's a crawler. He's so fast. He loves getting into the dogs water bowl. Great. But he loves his baths, so I'm not surprised he loves to splash in the bowl. He's stood twice in the last few days without holding on and just stood. No biggie. It was pretty intense except he didn't realize it. He just plops down. He loves when we try to get him to stand and he falls one way or the other. He giggles and laughs. Its amusing. Did I put he got his first full hair cut? It was a few weeks ago. Chris did it while I was a church one day. I came home and it was gone. He did ask permission. But I didn't realize he was actually going to do it. Logan grew like 2 years in a matter of 2 hours. It was sad.  But he's so cute.

Long shaggy before hair

it's all gone ! He looks so much bigger. Crazy !

 He's 9 months. Had his check up. Not quite 20lbs which kills me, cause I would have sworn he was. He's taller than he is wide. So that explains why all his shirts come up over his belly. That fat little belly. Which is why i love him in footie pjs. I don't have to worry about the bottom of clothes coming halfway up his leg, or his shirts riding up over his belly. And had his second flu shot. So sad. Poor kid. Not excited for his 1yr check up when he gets stuck with all kinds of stuff. His sad little face. I can't take it. But that's all thats new with him. He's not walking quite yet. He loves walking along the furniture. He discovered his walker toy he can walk behind, since he's only ever climbed up on in and played with the activity front part of it. Now he likes to get it and walk all over the living room. He walks crooked. Like he's drunk. Silly kid. He doesn't like food. Well, real food. He eats all his jarred food and then some. But give him the real version of what his mashed food is, he hates it. Spits it out, makes the grossest face. I hope this kid isn't on jars forever.

Chris applied for graduation last week. Since the deadline was Friday. Nice. I am excited about that. He's on schedule. Should be fine as long as he passes all class. He said he's pretty sure he can get all D's this semester and still graduate with an air force acceptable GPA. Woot. He talked to a recruiter for the Air National Guard in Charleston. They have a pilots position open there. Chris wants it. So he got all the info, just needs to start working on that. Ie, studying for the tests, physicals, reference letters, etc. We may be west virginia-ers a few years longer. Who knows.

Chris got me a Nexus 7 tablet for my early Valentines present. I'm excited to use it. I don't really know what to use it for. Most anything I can do on it I've been using my phone for, so it seems redundant so far. Except when I have to teach church, then it will be wonderful, since the new curriculum is online and printing it all is a pain and just having it there on this cute little tablet will be lovely.

Life has been pretty hectic. I'm kind of at my end. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. I'm just tapped out. I'm not tired, in that I'm not sleeping. But just so much. All the time. I can't. I mean I can. But it feels like I can't. There's just always something. And I'm not handling it well. I know it will be over soon. I know I should be positive and have that optimistic outlook and blah blah blah. And I will. But not right now. Let me be cranky, and moody and eat chocolate every night. I keep thinking this is a challenge for me. I've been just going through the motions lately. Not really into what ever it is I'm doing. And a few times, I've been thinking about how to challenge the Young Women to follow the theme for this year "Come Unto Christ" and then I think about what I am or can be doing to do that as well. And maybe that's what this is. Unfortunately, it's not until we're tired, lost, broken, forsaken, alone that we turn to our Savior. And maybe I am not being a good example to the YW and this is going to push me to be.

At least thats what I'm going to tell myself while I'm dealing with stuff.


Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Progress

Progressnoun
ˈprägrəs,ˈprägˌres,ˈprōˌgres/
  1. 1.
    forward or onward movement toward a destination.


I've been thinking a lot about progress lately. Maybe because I'm watching my sweet little boy master crawling, or pulling himself up preparing to walk off across the room at any moment. Maybe because Chris is a few short months away from graduation and we get to move forward with the next step. Maybe because of some things I'm dealing with in my life as a YW leader. That's probably it. Because this will focus more on the Gospel's (well my version of the Gospel's) view of progress.

Members of the LDS church talk a lot about the Plan of Salvation. If you want more information that I may not cover proceed here ---> http://www.lds.org/topics/plan-of-salvation?lang=eng. I found a fancy color picture depicting said Plan for this purpose.





There's a lot of information there. Bear with me. 



This is huge for members of the church. This is THE plan. Where we came from, where we are, where we are going. It's the purpose, gives you direction. Gives you that destination we're progressing towards. I love having this knowledge. I don't have to wonder. 



[Hopefully] quick break down. We lived in the Premortal existence with our Heavenly Father and Christ and all God's spirit children. There two plans were proposed, Lucifers plan, which lacked agency, basically forcing us all to making right choices and return to Heaven and Christ's plan which allowed us to use our agency and potentially return to live with Our Father again, or not. Based purely on our choices in life. These opposing plans started "the war in Heaven" between Lucifer's followers and those who supported Christ. 1/3 of all the spirits in Heaven sided with Lucifer and God ultimately cast them out of Heaven. Those who remained and followed Christ, left the Premortal Existence and came to Earth. We have forgotten all this because of the Veil (seen) so we can be objective and make our decisions in this life, whether to follow Christ's example, make right choices, follow the scriptures, commandments, prophets etc. This is where we are (duh right?).  When we leave this world, through death, our body will be buried, and our spirit will continue on to one of two places: spirit paradise or spirit prison. Placement is based solely on your decisions here in this life. If you've kept the commandments and follow Christ and his prophets you will enjoy paradise. If you need to work on some things, repent, iron our your kinks in obedience, you will go to Spirit Prison where you will have the opportunity to be taught and fix what needs fixin'. This is currently happening for all those who have died since the beginning of the world. And will continue to happen until... the Resurrection. Christ rose on the 3rd day. Agreed? We are to follow his example and because he broke the bonds of death by being resurrected, we too will be resurrected. This will be the rejoining of our body and spirit so we can stand before God and be judged according to our works in Earth life. From here the judgement takes place of all spirits/people who lived on the earth. Here is where things get a little awesome (imho) instead of just a pass/fail system, there isn't just Heaven or Hell, good or bad.  There are three kingdoms of Heaven. Celestial is the best, most sought after. Where we will live in the presence of God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ. It's compared to the glory of the sun. Brightest, most glorious. The second kingdom is the Terrestrial, compared to the glory of the moon. Still bright. Still beautiful, but not quite as magnificent as the sun. And the last is the Telestial Kingdom, which is comparable to the glory of the stars. And for those that are absolutely horrible, and basically evil followers of Satan/Lucifer, get to go to outer darkness. No light. (See 1 Cor. 15:40-41).  

Ok. Overwelmed? Sorry. I had to make sure we were all on the same page. 

So back to my progress. So you see how going through this plan is sort of linear. You start from one and go to the next and continue on. Until you reach the destination. The definition, remember, of progress says the forward or onward movement towards a destination. Not backwards. Not sitting still. Forward. Go. Move. 

There is no progress in standing still. 

Would it make sense in the grand scheme of this Plan, to say, stop after you come to earth? Refuse to leave? Stay in earth life... forever? No. What's the point? We came here to experience, use our agency, make choices and prove ourselves worthy to return to live with our Father in Heaven. Or even after death. Let's stay dead... What? Why? What was the purpose of any of that? At any point (beyond making it past judgement and into one of the kingdoms) there is no reason to stop. There is no reason to stand still. We must progress. We must push forward toward our destination. No matter how scary that next step is. I'm sure leaving the comfort and glory of our Father in Heaven to come to this dreary world called Earth was intimidating, fearful, you name it. I'm sure we felt scared. But we trusted God. We trusted our Savior. We had faith. We took the leap and came here. Now people talk about fear of death. Fear of what's next. Why yes, we fear the unknown. But if we exercise a little faith, and see what's next, see what's coming, would we delay it? Would we want to live forever, just because we're scared of the next step? No. It seems silly. Childish, to throw a tantrum because we're scared and refuse to move. We must go forward. This is the plan we agreed to before we came to this life. And knowing what comes next and what we can obtain, the goal we are moving towards, that wonderful destination... why fear? "This is a time for faith, not fear" (reference). 

So (how could I keep going!) to relate this to life. My life. My things. Working with Young Women (girls ages 12-18) in such a scary transient time in life, there is a lot of fear. You're dealing with so much uncertainty at that time in life. But... you still move forward. What would you tell the little 11 year old who's preparing to leave the children's primary program and enter the Young Women's program, who's afraid. Who doesn't want to leave the comfort of the familiar Primary program. How silly it seems. Ask anyone, Young Women's rocks. But they don't know that. They don't know what goes on there. They know what happens in Primary. And they want to stay. Sadly, they don't get to stay. You must progress. You must move forward. And before you know it that scared preteen is loving Young Women's, loving the new friends, the teachings, the activities and wonders why she ever fought against this natural progression. 

So what I'm trying to say, move. Forward. Not backwards. Move. Don't stand still. Have faith not fear. This whole entire Plan is based on the next step. Planning, preparing and moving forward

Friday, January 24, 2014

Frozen: Not the Disney Movie

It has been snowing. And snowing. Which I LOVE. Don't get me wrong. Snow means money. Snow means Chris gets to work. And that is awesome. Since he doesn't have a "real" job so he can plow. So this past week or so he's been home on and off. He'd have been gone more if school wasn't getting in the way. Curse you college ! But this has been nice. He's exhausted. Poor him. I'm mostly exhausted from taking care of Logan and being stuck in the house.  Logan's getting stir crazy. He can't stay in one room. He moves so much the front of his onesie gets covered in dog hair (yuck) and all dingy. I'm going to have to start mopping 3x a day. Awesome.

Speaking of college, and Chris. He gets to apply for graduation ! Woo ! I almost forgot about it. Until I saw the calendar event that says dead line to apply. So, this is happening ! He's got a couple scary classes that are definitely going to be tough. But he can do it. So I'm excited. Before I know it, it will be May and my baby boy will be one and I'll have a graduated husband ! Whatttt !

I can't really think of too much going on. Same old. Snow days. Work. It's been pretty laid back. We probably need to get warmed up to working. But this cold makes us all want to go home. All the time. Which is what we do. Yay for my awesome job :]

I've started doing a new work out challenge. I'm almost done with week 3. Which is probably the longest I've ever kept up with any workout/diet routine. Go me. Luckily I have a few friends doing it, and its all on facebook, AND I convinced my dear sweet husband to start it too. He's just a week behind, but hey. He's doing it too :] which is funny because it's called the Bikini Body Mommy Challenge.  90 days. We can do it ! Hopefully we see results. I can't say I have yet (granted its been 3 weeks, and I'm not dieting) but they workouts aren't killing me as much as they used to. So yay for being stronger !

And that's all I can think of. Life has been too busy but not with anything interesting. I've got a girls night party thing with Patti @ her house tonight, which I'm pretty excited about. I was up all night making sugar cookies & learning to decorate with royal icing. I gave myself a sugar hangover. Man, did I feel horrible this morning. And then my dad's big 5-0 birthday is Saturday and they're coming over for dinner :] I'm excited to have people over. And especially for them to be at my house and see Logan in his natural state. Which means cleaning. Lots of cleaning. Which I feel like I spent all last weekend doing. Which I did. Because my mess of a basement is absolutely gorgeous and clean now. I want to just sit down there. Because it's so pretty. Organization ::sigh::

Annnnd that's all folks. This snowy week went by fast. And hopefully I'll more interesting things to write about. I can make up stuff. Well not make up stuff, but just write random things but I don't think anyone cares.

I restarted doing this for my Project Life album. I'm still trying to work on the rest of my "Project 26" from 2013. I'm only a few weeks behind. I have them all planned, I just have to match them to a layout and print pictures. And I want to do this year, but the longer I wait, the longer I get behind and ahhhh. Maybe next week life will let up a bit and I can try to do more. I love being able to go back through and look at the fun things. Chris actually said "I'm so glad you've taken the time to make this" the other day when we were looking through what I've done so far. It's nice that he doesn't see it as a waste of time or money. And hopefully we like to keep looking at it through the years. And it's a ton easier to do now that the products are available at Michaels and HobLob now too :] Woo !! Check it out if you have no idea what I'm talking about: http://beckyhiggins.com/   scrapbooking made easy !

And now, that's really all I have.

The end !

Friday, January 3, 2014

Because sleep is overrated...

For whatever reason its 1am and my baby is asleep, husband is out working and i'm... updating my blog. Because... see title.

I realize it's been way too long since I've updated and I know I won't do it any other time. Mostly because I haven't been at work which means I've been busy at home. I've LOVED this wonderful 2 1/2 week long break <3 I never want it to end. Sadly... In 4 days it will :[  We really haven't done much which is fine by me. It's been lazy, and being home, and being together as a family. What more could a girl want?

We had a wonderful thanksgiving (I have even updated since then?!) in NJ and I saw a bunch of wonderful people I haven't seen in years, some in lots of years. It was really great to just be, hang out, catch up. Just talk. See how far we've all come. It's wonderful to keep in touch with people. I never had that, growing up and moving so much. It's nice to have people I have kept in touch with. So yummy turkey. Lots of people. LOTS of people. Lots of dogs. All under one roof. Wawa. Yum.

Christmas was busy. As usual. We had a last minute Perry Party, since no one really planned anything at the Thanksgiving thing we usually do. But it turned out really well. Perry's are always down for some perry time and food. It's nice to see everyone for a bit too. Chris has two cousins expecting, one's 1/2 way thru her pregnancy, so it was fun to talk to her. And the other wasn't there but they'd just announced it earlier that week. It's so fun. So many babies ! I know there are other couples (not us, so calm down spaz) that are trying so there are more on the way ! I can't wait til we have more, but.. I can. I get all anxious and have a mild attack when I think of another one. Except I miss being pregnant. But I love just having Logan, and paying attention to him. I can't make up my mind.

On to Logan. This kid is getting huge. Make it stop!  He has 7 teeth that have broken thru, we're waiting on the last one to complete the bottom "set" so his 4 top, and 3 and almost 4th on the bottom. They make him look so grown up ! I finally trimmed his hair because it was all in his eyes and growing over his collar and making it look all mullet-ish. ::gag:: I couldn't take it. He's 8 months old today. Weird. 4 months til his bday ! I've been planning it cause I'm a weirdo planner, but I might start getting stuff together, crafting the crafty parts and getting stuff going on. It's going to be a fun time in May. Hear this weekend.  So my mom's coming out for Josh's graduation (weird, my little brother.. baby brother, is graduating!) and thats the 12th, so whatever that thursday before is, she flies, then she'll drive here Friday. I'm going to wait a week to do Logan's 1st Bday since her and my grandma will be here, and really? It's not like he'll notice. So party Friday, Saturday is Chris' graduation ! Ah ! Yay ! Luckily we'll have a joint party w/ his little sister later in the month. And then sunday is normal busy Sunday, and then Monday is Josh's graduation. AH. So. Much. To. Do. But yeah. So my baby is big. He's not actually crawling yet. He's so much better at getting up on his hands and knees all by himself. But he scoots like a champ. He moves so much it's crazy. He loves all his new toys he got for Christmas. So many noisy, sound, singing things. But he always loves wires, wrapping paper tube, remotes and shoes. Because... we didn't buy any of those things for him. So why not?  He loves pulling himself up on you, the couch, legs, whatever he can stick his little talon like fingers in to. So we had to lower his crib so he doesn't try to prison break outta that thing. He's getting so big. He loves to talk. Recently learned how to scream like a banshee. Not even when he's mad, but ALL the time. Gah, this kid kills me. I love him tho. He loves to eat. Everything. Still makes funny faces when you give him "real" food vs his pureed baby mush. Knows how to use his big boy sippy cup, even if he doesn't hold it himself yet. And... that's all I can think of. He's adorable. I love him to death. I can't imagine life without him. I have LOVED these last few weeks being able to be with him constantly. It's like maternity leave all over again but now he does stuff instead of just sleep and eat. I have the cutest kid ever.

And thats all I can think of for now. Loved talking to Maddie on Christmas Day. She's too cute. Sounds like a little sister missionary. I'm super excited for her to get home, especially since Chris is planning on leaving me for the summer to go work. I'll be lonely. Even tho Maddie's other half will be here, hopefully they'll let Logan and I tag along as a joint third wheel like we let Maddie do for our first year of marriage. And Mert is in Oregon awaiting to go to Brazil. Which is awesome. I still can't wrap my head around her being on a mission. I'm super jealous.  They're both having the best experiences and I love hearing about all the wonderful things they're doing. Can't wait til I'm old and I can go on one !!

Oh and I got called to Young Womens. Again. It's been a few weeks, so I'm beyond the shock of it all. I was so sad to be leaving the Relief Society and working with the wonderful women in the church. But I know callings are definitely inspired and I know even in these few short weeks, the women I'm working with are wonderful and we are going to do great. I have to stop reverting back to when i was in the presidency in NJ. It's different ! But it's so hard to not compare things, right? But it should be fun. Fun. fun. fun.

And.. thats all I can think of at this wonderful early 1am time. Yay for snow so husbands can go work. Yay for wonderful jobs that let you have vacations and spend precious time with family. Yay for this wonderful season that has come to a close, so we can remember our Savior and all He's done for us and how much He means in my life. And... here's to 2014. I don't really have... resolutions. Because I think I've only ever kept one in my whole life. But the obvious, I do want to get in better shape. I've been mentally psyching myself up for that one. And then work on some personal things with some character flaws I want to try to iron out. Hopefully we'll be expecting sometime in 2014 :] how fun ! Ah ! and scary. And we may not even be in WV this time next year. 2014 is going to be big changes for our little family and I can't wait !
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