Monday, June 24, 2013

My heart could explode !

No I do not have a heart disease. My heart is fine. In case you were some how worried by my title. If you even read titles. I stress more than I should about titles. Whatever.

Exploding heart = SUPER good.

I know in my last post I went on and on about how happy I am. Well, thankfully, that continues. To the point where my heart could explode. I've had my days. Ie, Chris and I had a long talk one night about each other and what we need from each other, which I think is good. We've been together 3 years [ and no where near figuring everything out ] and adding a new little person has definitely changed things. I love when him and I can talk things out. I'm still learning. I tend to bottle things and just get frustrated and shut down. But all in all, life is so good.

He starts at UPS tomorrow, bright and early, 530am. Fun. So he's been in bed for a few hours. And I fed the baby, and put him in his crib [ it's been a while. the bassinet is SO easy! ] and have just been sitting. Alone. Being me. Weird. We got these fancy baby monitors [cause our house is soooo huge (not)!!] but I think they make Logan's little sounds so much cuter ! He coos and babbles and it just sounds so perfect through this little speaker on the table. He's perfect.

I'm gearing up for my trip. Mentally. I have done NOTHING to actually get ready. Except for everyones blog tips on traveling with an infant. Mom asked for a list of things she needs to get before I get there: ie diapers, pack n play etc. And I have like 4 things on the list... I can't think of anything ! He really doesn't need much, except me. But thinking of being out there in a couple days gets me all giddy. I'm so excited for Logan to meet the other half of this huge family he just inherited :] He's adorable and they are going to eat him up ! Especially now that he's fun and talks and giggles and smiles. I love it ! And I'm excited for food lol Cafe Rio. In-N-Out... Tucanos if I can spare the money and calories. Ah, food.. I love thee !

I have two weeks left on my maternity leave. ::sigh:: I need to soak up every second. I can't imagine being away from my little guy !

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Happy happy happy !

I was thinking about what to write about in my next blog post and all I really keep thinking in my head is "I'm happy." I just want to put that in a post and call it a day. There aren't words that describe what in my life is making me happy, how it's making me happy, etc etc.

Overall I love being a mom. I have enjoyed these last 6 weeks with my little guy. Just doing our thing. I'm sure if I kept going for months and months I might get a little stir crazy but I don't think so. Maybe because I don't have months and months... Just a little over 2 weeks. ::sob:: !!  Logan is such a good little baby. He's not doing so well at the moment. He's got a little tiny cold/allergy thing. Stuff nose, cough, sneezy... it's so depressing and pathetic sounding. And it's making him super cranky. And waking up all through the night. Poor little guy. But our pediatrician is awesome and I called at 9am concerned and was there at 11am talking to the doctor. And I got to talk to her about other things that I've been wondering about since I didn't want to wait another two weeks for my appt. So moral of the story: I love my son. I love being his mom. I love everything he does. Even our little fun times at 4am. He's the best thing in my life and I don't know what I'd do without him and how we waited so long.

Now for what's been going on. This last week or so has been insane. The Peers are in town [I LOVE THEM!] We finally got schedules worked out and they got to visit and now Lorien never wants to leave and I'm fine with that. We need them back. Let's make it happen people ! Katie and Carl got married <3 It was beautiful, she was beautiful, Carl cleans up nice ! I love weddings. Logan was my date and we got him all dressed up in a little suit onesie. It's fun all the attention he gets. He's such a cute baby. Congrats to Carl & Katie and starting their lives [hopefully] together. I wonder what she's doing... Katie?! Are you staying or leaving? Don't leave us !! Except you can, cause it's for your husband... Brenda & the kids are in town.  can't believe how much they've grown ! I love when they visit.  I miss seeing them !

Chris has been wanting to quit RadioShack. It's minimum wage so thats frustrating. They've lost 2 people and so its stressful. And I personally don't care for his manager. Double standards aren't cool sir ! BUT, a few weeks ago Nathan and Alix [Chris' cousin & wife] were telling us about a UPS job from 4am-9am and how Nathan was going to do it cause it's good money, early enough to not interfere with the rest of life, etc etc. And UPS pays good. Well Nathan can't do it with his 8am class. So I told Chris, applied him a week ago, he had an interview Monday, got "hired", finished forms and paperwork today, and will start the day after tomorrow. Yay for boxes and trucks and loading/unloading. 4am-9am. He'll get $1 raise after 90 days. I want a dollar raise... This is an INCREDIBLE blessing. He was just going to quit work all together and stay home to take care of Logan, and then just worry about daycare during class time. It was going to be an adjustment to lose his paycheck and live exclusively on mine, even though I make more than enough. But now, he'll be making more (!!) without his work schedule interfering with Logan or class. It's so perfect, I want to cry. Blessings!

Speaking of blessings, we were still struggling to find someone to take Logan during Chris' Tues/Thurs 9-12pm class. Not really sure what to do. Not really wanting to go with the lady we interviewed cause I got weird vibes, well, just didn't really feel 100% about her. But lovely Suzie from my church said she'd take him. She works at home and thought she'd have him full time (M-F 9-5) and when said it'd probably just be those 6 hours and maybe a few more during the week depending on Chris' workload in school... BUT HOW AWESOME! She said she isn't doing it for the money, she just wants to help and I just want to sit in a corner and cry. Denae is taking Logan for the 3 weeks in july I have to go back to work... which she might not have to now, since Chris is quitting RadioShack... But she's such a blessing. Suzie is an incredible blessing. UPS, this house. So many blessings.

And next week I get to hop on a plane with my little guy and fly west [oh how I miss thee!] and see my family. My mom is so excited. I can't wait for everyone to meet Logan. He's going to be so big, it's crazy! Did I mention he's 12lbs already ! Ah ! 0-3mos clothes mark 12lbs as the high end... Um.. dude, you're not even 2 months yet! Slow down ! It's going to be a fun trip. Stressful I'm sure. But fun. And worth it. I hope little guy is feeling better by then... sick baby + traveling alone = no bueno.

It really is incredible how many things have worked out for us. Obedience brings blessings. I promise. I know it. Give it a try and see. The Lord is just waiting to give you anything and everything to make you happy. All He asks is you follow Him and what He's commanded. Disclaimer: Chris and I are by no means perfect and doing everything. We miss scripture study ALL the time. I don't remember the last time we had family prayer. But we're trying. We try to remain worthy. We try to do these things we're supposed to do. It's the effort. The Lord knows your heart.

I just can't begin to explain how incredibly happy I am. Content.

Monday, June 3, 2013

The Practical Use of My Time

Since little man is sort of soundly sleeping in his swing right now, hey, why not post an update. Who needs to shower, eat, vacuum, or heaven forbid, put on a bra today. Too much? Welcome to my life :]

Life has been practically perfect in every way [which movie.. anyone? come on!] I must admit every day does kind of blend into the next, but honestly, there isn't much difference between them. I know all you moms and some dads probably know, and I knew it too. But I don't hate it like so many I've heard before have. I could sit and stare at my little Logan all day and probably do more than most. I'm starting to regret getting him out of his crib when he was sleeping too long just so he could sleep in my arms. Now he won't sleep in his crib during the day for more than 30 mins. Good job on that one. But things are going great. I'm dreading going back to work and not having him with me. I'm such a loser I even brought him with me to run from my in laws to my house [less than a mile] just to grab some piano music from my basement. A total of MAYBE 5 mins. But I haven't even left him, or been without him since he was born. We've been under the same roof for a month and I refuse to leave him until I have to. I feel foolish, but unless you have to go back to a full time job and want more than anything to be a stay at home mom, shut it. You don't understand.  I have no idea where this post is going.

I keep track of the days. Go me. Thank goodness for my paintchip calendar I made a while back. I glance at it at least once a day. Thankfully Chris works a pretty set schedule so I know it's either Monday Wednesday or Friday when he is working. Sundays I think are the only day where things are different. I make myself take a shower *at least* every other day. [Some may cringe at only every other day, but bite me. I've read some moms forget and go a whole lot longer. So high *5* me !]  I'm starting to hate my couch. I've made a dent. I live on it. I do try to get out. Maybe not everyday cause I'm not that ambitious and some nights are hard and I don't want to see the world. We'll go walk around the mall, visit daddy, maybe go to lunch with someone. I like that I've taken him out [a lot] before the typical 6 week mark. Chris thinks I'm going to kill him but I think he'll have a rockin' immune system like his mom. He's been to church 4 times, and once of those 4 was for all three hours. No one touched him needlessly, no one stole him from me [I know there's still time and I don't want beat someone at church... just doesn't seem appropriate] and he didn't scream and wail during the quiet moments. I know, again, there's still time for that.

All in all. Life is wonderful. Being a mom is wonderful. Don't hate me because I do have my moments where it's not all rose colored and I want to cry, or punch Chris or lock myself in a closet and disappear for a moment. But much like all the crappy parts of pregnancy and labor, I don't really remember them. I recall them, but they're not nearly as strong and piercing as all the wonderful things.

The cute smiles. The little laughs. The sweetest little noises he makes ALL the time. His super sweet fauxhawk. That sweet moment when he is staring at me and I know he's seeing me. When just me talking to him calms his fussiness. Oh being a mom. I know it only gets better from here. I know as he grows [which I want to slow down ! goodness where did a month go] things will only get better, and more fun and all that as he does new things and turns into a person instead of my coined phrase : a blob of a baby. And I can't wait. But for now, I'm content to be here when he wakes up, and feed him and rock him and snuggle and change him and repeat. I am a cow and maid in essence. But I'd never want to be anything else for anyone else.

I love my little one month old little baby boy.
^^^this is Heaven
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