Monday, March 5, 2012

Consistency !

So I thought I'd update whoever reads this on what's going on.

Chris got into BYU. Yay ! Class starts June 18th.We've gotta let BYU know by May 1st. Yay for decision making time. It makes me frustrated that so many people were upset and assumed we were automatically leaving. So I'd get all these "rude" remarks but they were said with a smile or a laugh or JK so I guess I can't take them seriously. But everyone's like Chris can go, but we want you to stay. Or I don't like what I heard. Especially from people I have hardly any contact with. Why does it matter to you? Anger ! So those people I want to just tell off and then leave, just to spite them.

But then I have the wonderful people that listen to me about my concerns, and want whats best for us. Those are my favorites. I always just tell everyone, we're just trying to do the right thing. We want to be where we're supposed to be, where the Lord wants us. And I get 2 responses. 1) I understand that and good luck with deciding. 2)Oh I already know and its here. Oh, YOU know what we're supposed to do with our lives? OH God told YOU what we're supposed to be doing... oh that must be nice.

Sorry, this seems mean. I promise I'm typing this with a smile.

But our decisions (mostly mine) are back and forth and I can't seem to pin down one or the other. As soon as I mentally decide on one i think of all these things good or bad and flip flop to the other. I can't ever make a decision. I told someone yesterday that  I'm going to just make a talley and keep track of who tells us to stay and go and we'll go with the opposite of the majority. Right now its like 20 to stay and 2 to leave. So... unfortunately, we won't make our decision that way.

Our biggest concerns are: Chris' credits, which all transfer, but most of them are electives. I'm worried since really, who needs that many electives, that he's going to be behind in school out there to catch up in the curriculum. And I don't want him in school any longer than he has to be. And we don't even know yet if he can get into the business school out there. School is tougher and I don't want him having any trouble passing classes and prolonging graduation. Here at Marshall, he's got his major, he's got his schedule figured out, and we have an end point. And he's got a good degree in mind that I'm a fan of him getting.  So that's big concern #1.

Number 2, is money. Well more specifically my job. So I can get a job in a lab or whatever, paying pretty close to what I make now. But I'm afraid it actually might come out to be a pay cut. And even if I make the same amount as here, the cost of living is higher. So I should make more. And bills always stress me out. And how will Chris do handling a tougher curriculum and trying to work :/ So money is a huge thing for me. Regardless of where I'm living. I stress about it now and we pay practically nothing in our apt.

But we both do want to go to Utah. There are so many reasons to go. We want the environment out there, and they people. I miss having good LDS people around that I won't have to worry about conversations and what they get into. I hate some of the things I hear people talking about here and it makes me sad. Sarah I love you, this is not a reflection on you. And I don't only want to have LDS people in my life. Its hard to explain. But I can explain my thought process to you. Especially since I'm sure if I put my true feelings on here someone might feel like I'm talking about them and then that won't be good.

There's a lot of other little-ish things. But we're kind of at a stand still. We've prayed and fasted and prayed some more. We sorta discussed it seriously for the first time yesterday. Which was nice. I think we need a little bit more time than the few minutes or however long we talked about it. But it does look like we're narrowing it down. I'm not sure if we're happy about it or not. It's weird.

And I'm wondering how I tell people? Should we make a big banner? Or just FB it like we did when we found out he got in, mass text? I dunno lol

So that's my update. My concerns, and then nothing really to go on :] I'm sure I just confused people more or frustrated them more about what we're doing! Sorry !


  1. well I got a revelation (hehe jk dont discount my vote) that you should decide after we find out where we have to go March 16th and choose whichever one we will be able to visit most :) We will always make it to Utah at least once a year no matter where we go but if we are further than driving distance from WV that will be on the back burner till Tim gets a real job :)
    But really decisions suck! I'm halfway glad the way medical residency works-they tell you where to go. And Tim's scores were just average so we applied to every program there is and they will tell us which we go to. Sucks because we have no say and can't plan or decide...but GREAT because we don't have to decide!!!
    Dont let people get to you--take it as flattery that they want you there! Huntington/Bville is the oddest little bubble! The world is a lot bigger with other opportunities that are just as wonderful if not better :) Being near family is great, but there is a lot to be said for being on your own for a while too so you can be away from everyone's influence and set up your life and marriage and family the way you want to! We have gone round and round about the same thoughts--moving to Utah or not. Only ours is kinda backwards..I LOVE utah but HATE cold so I want AZ but Tim's fam is in Utah and I can get mine to be too if we move there. "luckily" we have at least 4-5 years to stew about that decision!! :) good luck
    ps...I think when you decide don't tell anyone who has given you crap about your choice...just leave without goodbyes, that'll teach 'em :) haha jk

  2. I will support you in every way. I will miss you in Utah and will try and see you here but we both know I suck at that life because my life consists of class, work, sleep and repeat. I know that you are a smart, strong, and confident woman who will make the right choice. Sorry I didn't text back earlier. I was extremely busy :( I've been dying to read this since I saw the update status on your facebook and I just now find time. I will add you to my prayers and I know that you will make the right choice for you. Good luck!! And I love you as well and knew you didn't mean me!! I felt like we were having our conversations at work while I was reading this.


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