Agency

Boy, is agency a killer ! It's been this huge tough principle I've been learning about for years ! Countless experiences that I won't bore you with. But, I think I can say I've learned that everyone has their agency. We can't get mad at them for using it. I don't want people to get mad at me for using mine. It's controlling those emotions, the disappointment, the anger and frustration, that's the part that gets to me. But then again, I have to use my agency. Do I go crazy and spin out of control giving into those emotions, or do I try to cope, deal and apply the Atonement and make it through with my head above water? Oh agency, the center of Christ's Plan. I really don't think I'll ever fully understand it.

Speaking of decisions. There are so many circling around. Still. Everyday is something new. Everyday I remember something I wanted to figure out. Delaware, the Bledsoe's house, my job, Disney, there's too much ! And then little things. That really aren't that little because they are affecting way too much and having a huge impact on my personality, on my marriage. I wish I had a huge eraser so I could just take it back, make things disappear from my memory. Or maybe a remote to fastforward to the part where I've learned my lesson. A sister at church this past Sunday said something about trials. She said either way we are going to go through them; we can't ever change that fact, no matter what we do. But we can change our attitude. We can say, "Ok, what I am I supposed to learn from this" and do it. Then it seems the trial is over, or goes that much quicker. It's when we fight what's happening, and "kick against the pricks" and complain, cry, that it seems to take so much longer. But once we get the message, that burden seems to lighten.

Sometimes I can see so much that the Lord is taking care of me. This months Ensign [Sarah: the Ensign is a monthly magazine the Church puts out, messages from the Prophet & Authorities, stories from members, pretty neat stuff], but this months I'm sure wasn't written just for me, but boy was someone inspired. It's all about forgiveness, of ourselves, others, using the Atonement. And then there's so many articles on Marriage, and just different principles to strengthen and grow. And I'm not saying my marriage is failing or I need some huge help from above to save it, we just keep finding new things out about eachother, and we hit a roadblock every now and then, and it's good to have others' experiences, counsel from our Leaders to help aid us. Like I said, it's good to see the Lord taking care of me.

What else... I started Indexing. Can I tell you how amazing easy this is ! I wish I had known this. I'm not trying to put this on any certain members, but when I was a YSA and couldn't go to the temple for work there, Hello ! I could have been Indexing. https://www.familysearch.org/volunteer/indexing   Check it out. But it's so simple. [Sarah :p We are HUGE on family history for temple work and even just for the genealogy factor, knowing where we can from and such.] But indexing is taking images of old records the computer can't recognize handwriting and stuff and we type in the information manually. It really takes hardly any time. Just yesterday evening, I started and have already done 78 names. I set a goal to do 10 by Friday. I ramped it up. So my new goal is 1000 names by the end of the year. Which is only 8 per day. I think I can handle it. Hopefully I can help our goal of 5000 names a year. I think I can help ! It was even nifty that I got an email from the Stake President saying thanks :] I love little things like that. And I love wondering about these people. What their story was. Seeing all the names, dates and then wondering about them. It's really interesting. I make up my own stories because I have such a crazy imagination. It's fun.

That's it for now. I'll keep ya updated on my decisions. If I ever make any. Hopefully soon-ish because it's killing me slowly. Other than that, I think I'm pushing forward, enduring...