Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Life in limbo

Well, not much has changed.  I'm not super angry or bitter or anything. I think I'm actually taking my life situation a lot better than Chris is. He's super stressed and I've decided I can't be. I've been stressed for too long. So I'm done. We've done so much to seek guidance, and help and anything direction. So, now we wait. We see how much faith we have and hope it's enough to do something.

So no jobs. No interviews. I'm being considered for a job I was already turned down for once. Not much hope there, but I wish it would work out. It would be such a blessing & answer to our prayers. Other than that, there really isn't much going on concerning jobs. Chris can't get hired anywhere. He's applied a few places, and we went to a job fair yesterday. Not much for a biology major with 3 yrs experience. But hey, maybe something for him.  I was thinking they need to have a reverse job fair. Let me make up a posterboard with my info, experience, jobs, what I can do, etc and have employers walk around and talk to each person. I know websites do that. But I've had my profile "open to employers" for EVER and I only ever get those sales, insurance make $10,000 a week jobs. Lies. I think my idea is revolutionary.. personally.

What else. I'm stressed about everything else beyond capacity. We had a wedding a few weeks ago, so that was one big thing of our list. Beautiful by the way. And just when I think I have time to breathe, I remember we hadn't planned Girls Camp stuff yet. Hello procrastination! And now that it's planned, I'm noticing how long things take to get delivered. Everything needs to be rushed. Curse you procrastination! So freak out about not finding things, or too expensive things, or not going to get here until the week after girls camp. Grr... Then there's Sarah's shower to get ready in between. Which I'm super excited about since I have all these crafty pinterest ideas I want to use and finally get to use. I just feel so helpless and like time is ticking away and nothings getting done. I know ! Like when you dig a hole at the beach and no matter how fast or hard you dig the sides keep caving in and you're getting no where. Yup. That's me.

Oh and the other wedding this weekend. Thankfully our only contribution is Chris is a groomsmen. I'd die if we had anymore to do in that. It just seems like everyday there's something. Oh wait, because there is something everyday! But as much as I hate being this busy and stressed, I'd die if I had nothing to do.  I just want help. From people that aren't just as busy as I am. I need a P.A. I can't pay, are you interested? Comment with your resume below. :]

Anything else. 3 1/2 more weeks of this job. 2 full weeks plus the week I'll be gone for Girls Camp. Fun. Still haven't heard from my "boss" about the "job" he thinks will work out perfectly. Um, nothing against Marshall's HR but I don't see them processing a job in 3 weeks... or 3 months for that matter.

Well something good that I did this week. On Saturday, Chris and I went to the Temple in Columbus. It had been a year since my Aunt Jessica died. I still can't believe it. Anyways, in the Temple, we do work (perform ordinances, ie baptism, etc) for people that have died without having the opportunity to do their own work. You have to wait a year. So Saturday was a year to the day and Chris and I went to do part of her work and then my uncle in Denver will do the other part with his wife. I'll give more details if you want to know. You know how to find me. But it was really hard, to be there, doing her work because it meant she's actually gone. It meant she really has been gone for a year and its all real. Even during the ordinances, they have you say the name you're being the proxy person for, and it was so hard to say her name. Other peoples names you don't know aren't anything, which is sad. But to say her name, and have them say after that "who is dead" nearly ripped my heart out. I cried and cried. But I was so honored to go there and be the person proxy for her and do her work. Knowing the blessings she's going to receive and the new healed person she will be now without having to deal with the trials she had in this life. She won't have to deal with her bi-polar disorder, chemical imbalances, medication, drugs. Nothing. She's free. She's whole. I love the knowledge I have of Christ's plan for us. No matter how hard life is here, there is more waiting for us after. If anyone had a tough life here, Jessica is one of them. No she wasn't perfect, she didn't make right choices, and I can't completely blame her mental disorder, but to an extent, she doesn't have that burden and curse anymore. And I got to help with that.

Love you Jess. Miss you and will be so happy when I get to see your smiling face again.

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