If at first you don't succeed...

Every year, one Sunday is kind of "taken over" by the sweet primary aged kids in our congregations. [Usually ages 3-12] It's a chance for them to give the "sermon" and share their testimonies, their experiences and beliefs. They sing songs in between the little talks [or speeches] they give which sweetly and simply share their testimony and beliefs even further.

This is the first year I'm in charge of this 40 minute program, of 25 kids, as part of my calling as the Primary President. [[AH!]] Last year I was the lowly pianist for this program. Oh, that was the dream, kids! Don't mind me while I sob quietly in the corner reminiscing that beautiful moment.

OK! So, every year the lessons for these kids the leaders teach change. We focus on a different theme, have different subtopics we focus on, etc. So every year its different, based on what we've covered this year.

I remember the beautiful spring day when I thought so anti-procastinatingly that I'd start writing the program. [Mind you, the program is usually in the fall, so go me, productive president you.] HA. Let's take bets on how many of you actually thought I'd sat down waaaay back in the spring and wrote this program. It crept closer, it was always kind of looming in the back of my mind, and I'd always look at the calendar and think, "Psh, I've got time." We even scheduled the date with our congregation leadership before I'd written the program. This seems a little backwards.

Fast foward to a few weeks ago. I felt pretty good writing it in August. We had a bunch of kids move in over the summer, so I'm glad I waited to include them and not have to write in a bunch of new parts. We weren't going to practice until the end of Sept/beginning of October, so I had time before the looming "performance" date of Oct 22.

I sat down during one nap time, and busted that sucker out. I felt so good. I had all the speaking parts and talked grouped nicely in little themed bunches, followed by wonderful songs that summarized that section and packaged it all up nicely. HA. Who needs to start in the Spring when I clearly was able to do it in a few hours one day.

I think Satan may have heard that last part.

Cause BOOM. I went to save it. My mac has seen better days so it takes a good 5 mins for it to even register I'm trying to save something. As that little cursor is a-spinnin'... the seconds keep on a-tickin'. Five minutes goes by, [no sweat], 10 minutes goes by [ok, maybe a little sweat], 15... Uh oh. My computer is frozen. I can't click anything, with that danged spinning cursor. I can't switch to any other windows, restart Word... OH.NO. whatamigoingtodo!?

//restart computer//PRAY Word recovered the unsaved file [coolest feature ever, where was that in college, and why didn't I learn in college to SAVE AS YOU GO.]

Open word. Nothing. And "recovered" files weren't this lovely program I'd just written. Went into the brains of my computer to see if there was a trace of a recovered file, temporary file, any file.. nope. Nada. ::deeeeeep breathes, Haley::

I closed my computer, walked away, before I killed it and cried on my kitchen floor.

I told my fellow Primary leader, I guess something I'd written wasn't supposed to be spoken, or I'd left something out, or the program wasn't quite what the Lord wanted. Right? I was going to divine intervention instead of undivine mayhem. I'm convinced Satan controls electronics and thats why they reap so much destruction or always go wrong when you need them to, or that perfect video that's worked every time, stops working the second you need it for you Sunday School lesson. I know you know what I'm talking about. So I decided to err on the side of light, and I'd come back to it once my heart rate slowed down.

Uh... that was almost 3 weeks ago. Procrastinate much? I won't deny I wasn't a little bitter that'd I'd already sat down for hours, mapped it out, consulted the months and weeks of themes, the lists of kids on the rosters, who would be suited to read what parts, etc. I already did the work. So WHY was I being made to do it ALL over again??

Well as the days have crept through September, closing in on our first practice date, before which I need to hand out parts for kids to prepare and practice, a Bishop that needs to approve the program.. I finally sat down on this very late Thursday night to work on it.

Hopped up on far too much Pepsi, some beautiful simple church music playing, I started on that blank Word window. Now I'm not done. I have a few things to tweek. Some areas that need a little something. But I have it. 3 pages of glorious-ness [does that sound too prideful.. sorry!]

And as I scrolled over it, making notes on what to work on tomorrow, I felt in my heart, "This is what I wanted you to come up with."

So many times in our lives we are doing the Lord's work, whether in church areas, or in our own personal lives. We're working towards Him. And we have the plan, we have the idea of how its going to turn out, how its going to end up and be perfectly wrapped up in the end. And that final vision gets deleted. And we cry, or scream, or get angry that we did all this work, all this good work, what we thought was right, to have it all fall apart.

But once we stop, take a breath, hopefully say a prayer or two, and get back to work, we'll see, it ends up exactly how the Lord wanted it to end. And we almost always see His way was so much better than ours.

I know this program isn't going to change anyone's life. It's not going to rock someone to their soul, or change their entire perspective. They're usually just a sweet simple reminder of how adorable the kids in the church are, and the simple truths they come to testify of.

But you know what. This primary program changed my perspective. 💗