I debated whether or not I even wanted to update. I always want to have a positive spin on my posts. Even if I complain the whole time, at least have a little glimmer of hope in there so I don't seem like such a negative Nancy. But, this will not be one of those posts. This will be my whiny 5 yr old post. You have been warned. So stop reading if you don't wanna hear it. And, comments are encouraged, but believe me. I've heard it all. And this is more of a "let me just get it out" then "give me advice" Sorry if this hurts your feelings.
As you well know, I've been looking for a job since Sept. It's been the topic of posts quite a few times. We turned down BYU and Utah because we didn't want to struggle finding a job in Utah and starting over and blah blah blah. Well, ain't it my lucky day. I got an email back (finally) from my "boss" (skdfa!) like 2 weeks later telling him we should have a meeting to discuss my "situation" as it was called since I'm not going to Utah in May. Obviously, I'm still here. Well in his reply he said we could meet, but we do have situation since I'm not leaving in May. The funding for my position is ending. June 30. With me leaving there wasn't a problem (except I was never for sure leaving, and boss man woulda known that if he'd ever taken a second to talk to me about it and not Jingwei). But now that I'm staying, uh oh. "Plan accordingly." What do you think I've been doing since Sept.. ? Sitting around ? Every day I'm checking the same dang websites, looking for jobs, contacting HR people following up. Trying my hardest to get outta this place. Obviously, 8 months of applying for jobs has gotten me nothing. What the heck is supposed to happen in the next 5 weeks !
And my huge kicker. So we decided to stay here and not go to BYU cause we were already established here and blah blah. I had a job that I hated, but it was a steady paycheck, etc. Chris was established in school. Etc, etc. Well, by golly, if I had known my job was ending in June, the job I thought was secure, reliable, we woulda have put a heck of a lot more thought into go to Utah. Because now we're in the exact situation we didn't want to be in if we'd gone. Can't wait to throw that little piece of knowledge into someones face. Even if he'd doesn't care because no one cares about us lowly research techs.
So with all that, the stress of losing a job and everyone acting like its so simple to go get a job. Yes, I can broaden my horizons, yes I can apply everywhere (oh wait.. done) but I can't get just any job. I support us. I pay all the bills (barely) with my paycheck. Everything is a HUGE pay cut. HUGE. Not like oh, we can make it work. Like I'll work full time and Chris and me another part time job and we might make the same amount... I don't make a lot, I promise, but it works for us. So no, we can't just apply anywhere. And even when I do apply to jobs where I'd get $8 or $10 an hour, they don't hire me because its a huge pay cut and I'm over qualified. So don't tell me I'm not applying enough, or to everywhere.
Oh and don't tell me how you lost your job (and Brenda, I PROMISE this is not towards you. I'll explain to you if you call me :D) but don't tell me you lost your job with your 6+ kids and how you some how managed. Well guess what, life was a lot cheaper back in the 70's and 80's. You didn't need a degree to get a decent job. Life was different. I hate when I asked people I want comfort from, or some just empathy, "sorry your life sucks" instead I get this whole life story on how they did it, and how they learned. Well you know what, I'm done learning. 8 months of learning is good enough for me. And since I'm getting bitter and not hopeful and happy through this, I know it means I'm not done learning.
Ugh ! Stupid job. And with that comes a lot of little things that aren't even a big deal, since I'm stressed about that it makes everything 1,000x worse. Like the medical bills stacking up. Our fault for not paying them sooner, but that pile looks more daunting now that I may not have an income to eventually pay them off. Oh and my dream of getting out of my apartment before those ugly brown walls suffocate me, not gonna happen. We have insanely cheap rent, and with a new and probably lower paying job, we won't be able to get any other apartment, because they're all much more expensive. Oh and that dream I had of having a baby. Or at least having it soon. Nope. Put that on the back burner. I was stressed about money before, and then more stressed thinking about bringing a baby into that, and now... puh-lease.
Not gonna happen.
And I guess I will try to close with a little glimmer of hope. Trails are for our good. I know this. I know there is a reason why Chris and I keep hitting these walls. He's not even getting any jobs. There's a reason. I know that. I know this is a trial of my faith. I know that one day I will get a great job, and be able to look back on these past months and know why, and get the lesson and probably thank my Heavenly Father for putting us through something like this. We've made it through tougher times, times that I thought would kill me and never end. But we made it. And we're stronger, and wiser and a better couple because of it.
"Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name’s glory, saith the Lord."
We have that promise. It's just hard some times. We try to do what is right. We try to be good members, read our scriptures, say our prayers, go to the Temple, do our family history. We're so involved in our callings at church. I just sit and ask, "What else do you want from me?" And then I look around and see others who don't try, who don't care, who aren't doing all the right things getting blessed, getting all the things we desire. And it's so frustrating, its so faith shaking. I know we are completely separate from them, how we live is no reflecting and vice versa. But sometimes its so hard to not compare.
Again, sorry. Feel free to comment. I don't want people to be offended. I promise the people I vent about would never read this in a million years. So if you read this, and think I'm talking about you, I'm not. If you still think I am, ask me. And I'll tell you who I'm talking about.
But thanks for listening. I promise the next post will be more upbeat, or have more shiny hopeful stuff in it.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
Patience
I feel like I'm always being taught patience. My whole life has been about waiting, until the time is right. For whatever reason. And now is probably one of the biggest. Besides having to wait 18 months for Chris to get off his mission to marry him. I haven't been waiting that long. But I did that too myself. Anyways, pointless.
So I still haven't gotten any shot at leaving my job. Since we decided to stay I've been way more anxious to leave my job now, ya know, since I'll be here for another two years. And definitely don't want to be here. And Alcon didn't pan out. PS, didn't get that job. Even though I should have. But they really appreciated me following up because that shows them I really wanted it.... So.. are you going to change your mind and hire me then!! That about killed me. I wanted to cry. Oh wait, I did. Moving on. Got a random email from MU Career Services (Thanks Patti!) about a lab tech position about 35 mins away :/ Whatever. Emailed my resume, got a call like 3 days later to interview. So excited ! Loved the people, loved the company. Kinda far... but whatever. They actually partner and do work with my old UT job. Love so much about it. Except its $10/hr... COOL! Huge pay cut. And they say it will increase "soon" but can't promise. And that's such a big pay cut, and add extra money I'll need to travel that far... sad day. So I emailed them to follow up. We'll see. I can't say yes. But I keep dreaming they'll call and say ok, we got them to bump up the pay, now will you take it ! YES ! Hey I can dream.
Amid all these silly temporal problems, like jobs and money, I keep praying and it's been a struggle. Like I said, I need to learn patience, cause I'm not very good at it. And it is starting to get to me. What am I doing wrong? What can I do better so I can finally get this blessing? It gets super frustrating. Especially when I see so many around me getting exactly what I want. Why not me? What am I missing?
So Aleshia and I went to this women's conference in Harrisburg last weekend (Time Out for Women, it rocks. Go!!) And a lady was telling a story kinda similar. Her husband had lost his job and they were scared and nervous and "what are we going to do!" But they felt reassured that it would work out and that something was being prepared for them. "Be patient." So they waited and prayed and got anxious (hey, me too) and prayed so more. Um.. Lord? about that job... any day now... (hey, me too!) and another reassurance that there was something coming, but be patient. So a year and a half goes by, and he FINALLY gets this amazing job opportunity to take over this company, or buy it or something. Such an answer to their long offered prayers. All the time wondering why hadn't this come sooner !
Come to find out, (and here's the kicker), the man that had previous owned the company was dying of cancer. While this lady and her family were praying for her husband to get a job sooner, "Hurry up already!" this other man's family is praying for more time to spend with their dying husband, father, brother... She felt selfish in that moment knowing they were in essence praying against that other family.
I know I'm probably not going to be in this situation. I'm not waiting for someone to die so I can get my dream job. Seriously? But, I don't see the whole picture. There is something. It will happen. I don't know why it isn't happening now. Or 6 months ago when I first started looking for a job. I don't know what I need to do to make it faster, if anything. But I do know that I can learn patience. That's all I can do now. Come to work, do what little I can, and in the mean time, learn patience.
So I still haven't gotten any shot at leaving my job. Since we decided to stay I've been way more anxious to leave my job now, ya know, since I'll be here for another two years. And definitely don't want to be here. And Alcon didn't pan out. PS, didn't get that job. Even though I should have. But they really appreciated me following up because that shows them I really wanted it.... So.. are you going to change your mind and hire me then!! That about killed me. I wanted to cry. Oh wait, I did. Moving on. Got a random email from MU Career Services (Thanks Patti!) about a lab tech position about 35 mins away :/ Whatever. Emailed my resume, got a call like 3 days later to interview. So excited ! Loved the people, loved the company. Kinda far... but whatever. They actually partner and do work with my old UT job. Love so much about it. Except its $10/hr... COOL! Huge pay cut. And they say it will increase "soon" but can't promise. And that's such a big pay cut, and add extra money I'll need to travel that far... sad day. So I emailed them to follow up. We'll see. I can't say yes. But I keep dreaming they'll call and say ok, we got them to bump up the pay, now will you take it ! YES ! Hey I can dream.
Amid all these silly temporal problems, like jobs and money, I keep praying and it's been a struggle. Like I said, I need to learn patience, cause I'm not very good at it. And it is starting to get to me. What am I doing wrong? What can I do better so I can finally get this blessing? It gets super frustrating. Especially when I see so many around me getting exactly what I want. Why not me? What am I missing?
So Aleshia and I went to this women's conference in Harrisburg last weekend (Time Out for Women, it rocks. Go!!) And a lady was telling a story kinda similar. Her husband had lost his job and they were scared and nervous and "what are we going to do!" But they felt reassured that it would work out and that something was being prepared for them. "Be patient." So they waited and prayed and got anxious (hey, me too) and prayed so more. Um.. Lord? about that job... any day now... (hey, me too!) and another reassurance that there was something coming, but be patient. So a year and a half goes by, and he FINALLY gets this amazing job opportunity to take over this company, or buy it or something. Such an answer to their long offered prayers. All the time wondering why hadn't this come sooner !
Come to find out, (and here's the kicker), the man that had previous owned the company was dying of cancer. While this lady and her family were praying for her husband to get a job sooner, "Hurry up already!" this other man's family is praying for more time to spend with their dying husband, father, brother... She felt selfish in that moment knowing they were in essence praying against that other family.
I know I'm probably not going to be in this situation. I'm not waiting for someone to die so I can get my dream job. Seriously? But, I don't see the whole picture. There is something. It will happen. I don't know why it isn't happening now. Or 6 months ago when I first started looking for a job. I don't know what I need to do to make it faster, if anything. But I do know that I can learn patience. That's all I can do now. Come to work, do what little I can, and in the mean time, learn patience.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Thanks Sarah (T.) !
So I've been meaning to update this, but every thought I have to update about is when I'm upset or frustrated. And I want this to be a happy blog :] So I wait until I calm down, or forget whatever dumb thing was driving me crazy.
So first off, why I titled this "thanks Sarah (T.)"... She text me the other day about a dream she had, where I was pregnant and I named the girl Lily Rose (which I do love... but Chris would never go for, because we have a daisy, and that's just a lot of flowers). But anyways. So I've been having some weird girl issues (TMI, I know) and then Sarah tells me about this dream. And I'm like, oh no. What if she's psychic!? Well, she's not. :p luckily I had an extra pregnancy test lying around from forever and a half ago and its very negative. So thank Sarah for my freak out moment !
Moving on! I think we've decided to stay in WV. Sorry Utah people :/ Just in weighing the options, the risk vs benefits, etc, we thought it was best to stay here. I knew applying to BYU and saying he got accepted would raise hopes (even mine!) but we're ok with this decision. I'm sorry. I love you all and I'd be there in a instant ! Sad day.
But now that we've decided to stay here, I've had 3 job interviews. And I think nothing was happening on the job front, since I've been applying since Sept, because we had to decide what to do about moving or whatever. So once we made that decisions, BAM, 3 calls. One Marshall one, which I doubt will go thru, because the jobs over in Sept, and then I'll be jobless. Sad. The other is for this International company, which sounds fun cause I'd get to travel all of the place all the time. But, I don't know how I'd do without a set schedule and being gone for a week, home for a day, then gone again. I don't know if I could do that. Then the last which we're really hoping for ! I interviewed at Alcon. This job reminds me so much of the job I had in Utah that I loved. And that pay should be the same if not more (hopefully!) and the company is wonderful. The only downside is its 300-1130pm job :/ but I'd make more working the 2nd shift. And really, I don't go to bed early or anything. And if I wanted I could go back to school during the day. It could really work out. So I'm praying and praying. I really want it to work out. I fantasize about leaving this place ! Ah ! Anyways. Should be fun.
We'll see. Other than that, life's been pretty normal. I have the cutest little nephew in the world. I can't get enough of him, probably because I don't see him enough lol but I'm trying to give the new mommy and daddy some space. I don't think I'd want people all up in my face when I'm trying to adjust. And then Sarah found out she's having a girl, which is awesome ! Chris is so sad because he wanted to have a girl. And I said we waited to long. And I bet we wouldn't have a girl anyways. But we'll see !
Work. School. Chris is almost 1/2 way done with school. WOO HOO! That makes me happy. Church is the same :] I think I'm making new friends. I like new friends. Especially when they remind me of people I used to hang out with, and make me into someone I used to be before.
OH We're looking for a new apartment. Our landlady/manager at our place now is the devil. And we aren't like rushing to get out, but if I get a new job and there's more money involved and Chris is going back to work and yay, we can get a bigger/better place. With a dishwasher, or washer and dryer, or white walls. We went to look at a place yesterday, which I like, except its 2x what we pay, with pretty sure smaller square footage. And we'd have to get rid of our sugar glider :/ But it has white walls !! We have another place to look at tomorrow hopefully and that place should be ok. Big. Huge for a 1BR. Random. But I'm excited we're even looking somewhere else. I love it :] The thought of quitting and leaving this place in the dust. And the thought of moving and wanting to tell that lady all the horrible things that are in my head. Fun.
General Conference is this weekend. I can't wait. Chris and I even had a mini FHE (family home evening) lesson about it and preparing for it and stuff. I love Conference. I miss being in Utah for it </3 If you want to check out what General Conference is, here's a link:
http://www.lds.org/study/prophets-speak-today?lang=eng
Basically, we have a huge church wide broadcast 2x a year, April and October. And the Prophet and Apostles and other General Authorities speak to us about concerns in the world today, or guidance and counsel that we need to hear. They are such inspired messages and exactly what I need to hear sometimes. It's amazing that we have Prophets that can share the messages our Heavenly Father wants us to know for our lives now. It's amazing to have that guidance and know of that love He has for us. He won't leave us alone or lead us astray. He helps and guides. I'm so excited ! Check it out !And you can come. Chris and I make cookies :] Sat 12pm and 4pm and Sunday at 12pm and 4pm :] Woo hoo !
So first off, why I titled this "thanks Sarah (T.)"... She text me the other day about a dream she had, where I was pregnant and I named the girl Lily Rose (which I do love... but Chris would never go for, because we have a daisy, and that's just a lot of flowers). But anyways. So I've been having some weird girl issues (TMI, I know) and then Sarah tells me about this dream. And I'm like, oh no. What if she's psychic!? Well, she's not. :p luckily I had an extra pregnancy test lying around from forever and a half ago and its very negative. So thank Sarah for my freak out moment !
Moving on! I think we've decided to stay in WV. Sorry Utah people :/ Just in weighing the options, the risk vs benefits, etc, we thought it was best to stay here. I knew applying to BYU and saying he got accepted would raise hopes (even mine!) but we're ok with this decision. I'm sorry. I love you all and I'd be there in a instant ! Sad day.
But now that we've decided to stay here, I've had 3 job interviews. And I think nothing was happening on the job front, since I've been applying since Sept, because we had to decide what to do about moving or whatever. So once we made that decisions, BAM, 3 calls. One Marshall one, which I doubt will go thru, because the jobs over in Sept, and then I'll be jobless. Sad. The other is for this International company, which sounds fun cause I'd get to travel all of the place all the time. But, I don't know how I'd do without a set schedule and being gone for a week, home for a day, then gone again. I don't know if I could do that. Then the last which we're really hoping for ! I interviewed at Alcon. This job reminds me so much of the job I had in Utah that I loved. And that pay should be the same if not more (hopefully!) and the company is wonderful. The only downside is its 300-1130pm job :/ but I'd make more working the 2nd shift. And really, I don't go to bed early or anything. And if I wanted I could go back to school during the day. It could really work out. So I'm praying and praying. I really want it to work out. I fantasize about leaving this place ! Ah ! Anyways. Should be fun.
We'll see. Other than that, life's been pretty normal. I have the cutest little nephew in the world. I can't get enough of him, probably because I don't see him enough lol but I'm trying to give the new mommy and daddy some space. I don't think I'd want people all up in my face when I'm trying to adjust. And then Sarah found out she's having a girl, which is awesome ! Chris is so sad because he wanted to have a girl. And I said we waited to long. And I bet we wouldn't have a girl anyways. But we'll see !
Work. School. Chris is almost 1/2 way done with school. WOO HOO! That makes me happy. Church is the same :] I think I'm making new friends. I like new friends. Especially when they remind me of people I used to hang out with, and make me into someone I used to be before.
OH We're looking for a new apartment. Our landlady/manager at our place now is the devil. And we aren't like rushing to get out, but if I get a new job and there's more money involved and Chris is going back to work and yay, we can get a bigger/better place. With a dishwasher, or washer and dryer, or white walls. We went to look at a place yesterday, which I like, except its 2x what we pay, with pretty sure smaller square footage. And we'd have to get rid of our sugar glider :/ But it has white walls !! We have another place to look at tomorrow hopefully and that place should be ok. Big. Huge for a 1BR. Random. But I'm excited we're even looking somewhere else. I love it :] The thought of quitting and leaving this place in the dust. And the thought of moving and wanting to tell that lady all the horrible things that are in my head. Fun.
General Conference is this weekend. I can't wait. Chris and I even had a mini FHE (family home evening) lesson about it and preparing for it and stuff. I love Conference. I miss being in Utah for it </3 If you want to check out what General Conference is, here's a link:
http://www.lds.org/study/prophets-speak-today?lang=eng
Basically, we have a huge church wide broadcast 2x a year, April and October. And the Prophet and Apostles and other General Authorities speak to us about concerns in the world today, or guidance and counsel that we need to hear. They are such inspired messages and exactly what I need to hear sometimes. It's amazing that we have Prophets that can share the messages our Heavenly Father wants us to know for our lives now. It's amazing to have that guidance and know of that love He has for us. He won't leave us alone or lead us astray. He helps and guides. I'm so excited ! Check it out !And you can come. Chris and I make cookies :] Sat 12pm and 4pm and Sunday at 12pm and 4pm :] Woo hoo !
Monday, March 12, 2012
Decisions
Yay for updates ! I probably get more excited than whoever reads this when I update. It's like a little badge of honor for keeping this up. ::Pat on my back::
So, now for an update. Don't hold me to this; this is not an official statement. But I doubt we're going to Utah. Just the risk of it all... doesn't really seem worth it. Why? So... but like I said. That's not final, that's not official. It's just what we're leaning towards.
But, we also might have summer plans. Which I'm super excited about, cause I get to quit my job. Woot ! So Nick (Chris' brother) has had a position open up in his team for the security system installations that I can take. Before Chris wanted to go, but I'd have to stay behind and that's not going to happen. And I'm not going to go and just tag along cause that's a waste of time and no making money. So now that there's a position for me and Chris. It's in Texas. Which is close to so much, like Mert, and my bff Katherine and her new (to be) baby will be two hours away. And the job sounds sorta intense, but I think once I figure out my rhythm and the most efficient way to do it, I'll be set. I would take calls, relay between sales and techs, keep the forms up, etc. Nothing too intense. Weirdly, the job I have now has taught me that kinda organization stuff :] And then Chris will go off and be an installation tech, and make good money. Nick reassured us that the sales team is awesome, and we should be pretty busy. It's sad cause we wouldn't have long periods of time off to go travel, mostly just mornings, and then Sundays. But there's temples SUPER close. And we'll be with family. We get a super nice apt that might (probably will) have a pool and a gym. Sweet. No ugly wood walls.
We'll have to drive both cars down, which I'm not super thrilled about, but everyone kept saying I won't want to be stranded. Whatever. But that's the tentative-ish plan. Nick is calling the company people today to see if he has that privilege to fill that position and to even hire me. If not, sad day. I can't tell you how much I fantasize about quitting my job. Especially if we leave in May. Thats only 2 1/2 ish months. I'd probably quit early. Just to be a slacker. Get my leave paid out. Sa-weet ! Oh dreams <3 I hope this works. I think it'd be fun to get away for a few months, have a nice place, make so sweet money.
The downside, is when its over in August and we have to come back. Where do we live? Our old apts are so hard to get into we might as well put in an application as soon as we move out. Cause we probably still won't have one available. And then work :/ arg. I'll probably be applying to everywhere all summer with an availability starting in Aug as soon as we're back. But let's be serious. I've been applying to everything since Sept... look how that's turned out. Great ...? So... I'll just get somewhere to start making money, bring something in. Since we'll have the money from the summer. But obviously we won't want to use that. Disney here I come ! (in aug haha)
So we'll see. Life. At least we know we're staying. Or thinking we're staying. We'll see what Nick says today.
So, now for an update. Don't hold me to this; this is not an official statement. But I doubt we're going to Utah. Just the risk of it all... doesn't really seem worth it. Why? So... but like I said. That's not final, that's not official. It's just what we're leaning towards.
But, we also might have summer plans. Which I'm super excited about, cause I get to quit my job. Woot ! So Nick (Chris' brother) has had a position open up in his team for the security system installations that I can take. Before Chris wanted to go, but I'd have to stay behind and that's not going to happen. And I'm not going to go and just tag along cause that's a waste of time and no making money. So now that there's a position for me and Chris. It's in Texas. Which is close to so much, like Mert, and my bff Katherine and her new (to be) baby will be two hours away. And the job sounds sorta intense, but I think once I figure out my rhythm and the most efficient way to do it, I'll be set. I would take calls, relay between sales and techs, keep the forms up, etc. Nothing too intense. Weirdly, the job I have now has taught me that kinda organization stuff :] And then Chris will go off and be an installation tech, and make good money. Nick reassured us that the sales team is awesome, and we should be pretty busy. It's sad cause we wouldn't have long periods of time off to go travel, mostly just mornings, and then Sundays. But there's temples SUPER close. And we'll be with family. We get a super nice apt that might (probably will) have a pool and a gym. Sweet. No ugly wood walls.
We'll have to drive both cars down, which I'm not super thrilled about, but everyone kept saying I won't want to be stranded. Whatever. But that's the tentative-ish plan. Nick is calling the company people today to see if he has that privilege to fill that position and to even hire me. If not, sad day. I can't tell you how much I fantasize about quitting my job. Especially if we leave in May. Thats only 2 1/2 ish months. I'd probably quit early. Just to be a slacker. Get my leave paid out. Sa-weet ! Oh dreams <3 I hope this works. I think it'd be fun to get away for a few months, have a nice place, make so sweet money.
The downside, is when its over in August and we have to come back. Where do we live? Our old apts are so hard to get into we might as well put in an application as soon as we move out. Cause we probably still won't have one available. And then work :/ arg. I'll probably be applying to everywhere all summer with an availability starting in Aug as soon as we're back. But let's be serious. I've been applying to everything since Sept... look how that's turned out. Great ...? So... I'll just get somewhere to start making money, bring something in. Since we'll have the money from the summer. But obviously we won't want to use that. Disney here I come ! (in aug haha)
So we'll see. Life. At least we know we're staying. Or thinking we're staying. We'll see what Nick says today.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
The way my brain works
So I had a fun thought. Well, I've had this fun thought, and the other day I tried explaining it to Chris so it can be done. But I'm afraid he didn't get it as a boy. So, I'm putting it in here, so when the time comes I can send the link and get it done.
So it has to do with babies. And I know it will be a while but I'm a planner and I get things taken care of ahead of time. I love the idea of not knowing what I'm going to have. I wish I was born a while ago so I wouldn't have the option and know any different then having a surprise when the baby's born. But now a days, it's just not practical. With everything you need, and I don't want a bunch of weird unisex things. I have a very sex specific decor in mind for boy vs girl. So, I was thinking of a way for there to still be a surprise. It all spawned with a cake I saw for a way to reveal the gender of a baby. On the outside you don't know, but once you cut into it, it's either blue or pink and then you know. Tada. Make sense. Well... I thought about how fun that'd be and having it at a baby shower but then people would buy gifts and not know until they get there and I don't like returning things that much.
So, my idea :] And I'm super excited if it works out. Since I'm a genius and always ruin my surprises. But I'm hoping since I'm planning my own surprise it will work.
So, here's how it would work. I'd go to the doctors with Chris and whether Chris wants to know or not, whatever. But when they got to the point to tell us what the baby was, either A) they can tell Chris and he'd just have to keep the secret or B) they can write it down and I'd give it to.. someone, probably Angel. Whoever. And so... we still don't know. So we go about our normal lives and register for baby stuff, boy and girl. And then its baby shower time. So Angel/whoever send out the invites and on there it will say what the sex is... but shh. its a surprise don't tell Haley. [I can totally see this part being ruined and someone letting something slip] Then the people can buy us gender specific stuff from our registry without us knowing.
So how will we find out? I want it to be at the baby shower. I want to have the room decorated with either boy or girl. My dream is to have minnie/pink for girls or mickey/blue for boys. So I can be blindfolded, or the lights off or something fun. And then if Chris doesn't know he can come to the shower too, but we'd walk in and then we'd know ! And we can be excited or not excited haha But how fun would that be to have on camera !
So that's my idea. Then all our gifts wouldn't be for the wrong sex, and we wouldn't have to return things [unless we just didn't like them] and it would all be good fun.
It's the only way I can figure out how to have a surprise but still be able to know before the baby's born. Now I'm excited that this idea is out there. Maybe if it ever happens I can make a post about that :]
And PS. sarah, Chris and I had "the talk" today... thought you'd wanna know :p
So it has to do with babies. And I know it will be a while but I'm a planner and I get things taken care of ahead of time. I love the idea of not knowing what I'm going to have. I wish I was born a while ago so I wouldn't have the option and know any different then having a surprise when the baby's born. But now a days, it's just not practical. With everything you need, and I don't want a bunch of weird unisex things. I have a very sex specific decor in mind for boy vs girl. So, I was thinking of a way for there to still be a surprise. It all spawned with a cake I saw for a way to reveal the gender of a baby. On the outside you don't know, but once you cut into it, it's either blue or pink and then you know. Tada. Make sense. Well... I thought about how fun that'd be and having it at a baby shower but then people would buy gifts and not know until they get there and I don't like returning things that much.
So, my idea :] And I'm super excited if it works out. Since I'm a genius and always ruin my surprises. But I'm hoping since I'm planning my own surprise it will work.
So, here's how it would work. I'd go to the doctors with Chris and whether Chris wants to know or not, whatever. But when they got to the point to tell us what the baby was, either A) they can tell Chris and he'd just have to keep the secret or B) they can write it down and I'd give it to.. someone, probably Angel. Whoever. And so... we still don't know. So we go about our normal lives and register for baby stuff, boy and girl. And then its baby shower time. So Angel/whoever send out the invites and on there it will say what the sex is... but shh. its a surprise don't tell Haley. [I can totally see this part being ruined and someone letting something slip] Then the people can buy us gender specific stuff from our registry without us knowing.
So how will we find out? I want it to be at the baby shower. I want to have the room decorated with either boy or girl. My dream is to have minnie/pink for girls or mickey/blue for boys. So I can be blindfolded, or the lights off or something fun. And then if Chris doesn't know he can come to the shower too, but we'd walk in and then we'd know ! And we can be excited or not excited haha But how fun would that be to have on camera !
So that's my idea. Then all our gifts wouldn't be for the wrong sex, and we wouldn't have to return things [unless we just didn't like them] and it would all be good fun.
It's the only way I can figure out how to have a surprise but still be able to know before the baby's born. Now I'm excited that this idea is out there. Maybe if it ever happens I can make a post about that :]
And PS. sarah, Chris and I had "the talk" today... thought you'd wanna know :p
Monday, March 5, 2012
Consistency !
So I thought I'd update whoever reads this on what's going on.
Chris got into BYU. Yay ! Class starts June 18th.We've gotta let BYU know by May 1st. Yay for decision making time. It makes me frustrated that so many people were upset and assumed we were automatically leaving. So I'd get all these "rude" remarks but they were said with a smile or a laugh or JK so I guess I can't take them seriously. But everyone's like Chris can go, but we want you to stay. Or I don't like what I heard. Especially from people I have hardly any contact with. Why does it matter to you? Anger ! So those people I want to just tell off and then leave, just to spite them.
But then I have the wonderful people that listen to me about my concerns, and want whats best for us. Those are my favorites. I always just tell everyone, we're just trying to do the right thing. We want to be where we're supposed to be, where the Lord wants us. And I get 2 responses. 1) I understand that and good luck with deciding. 2)Oh I already know and its here. Oh, YOU know what we're supposed to do with our lives? OH God told YOU what we're supposed to be doing... oh that must be nice.
Sorry, this seems mean. I promise I'm typing this with a smile.
But our decisions (mostly mine) are back and forth and I can't seem to pin down one or the other. As soon as I mentally decide on one i think of all these things good or bad and flip flop to the other. I can't ever make a decision. I told someone yesterday that I'm going to just make a talley and keep track of who tells us to stay and go and we'll go with the opposite of the majority. Right now its like 20 to stay and 2 to leave. So... unfortunately, we won't make our decision that way.
Our biggest concerns are: Chris' credits, which all transfer, but most of them are electives. I'm worried since really, who needs that many electives, that he's going to be behind in school out there to catch up in the curriculum. And I don't want him in school any longer than he has to be. And we don't even know yet if he can get into the business school out there. School is tougher and I don't want him having any trouble passing classes and prolonging graduation. Here at Marshall, he's got his major, he's got his schedule figured out, and we have an end point. And he's got a good degree in mind that I'm a fan of him getting. So that's big concern #1.
Number 2, is money. Well more specifically my job. So I can get a job in a lab or whatever, paying pretty close to what I make now. But I'm afraid it actually might come out to be a pay cut. And even if I make the same amount as here, the cost of living is higher. So I should make more. And bills always stress me out. And how will Chris do handling a tougher curriculum and trying to work :/ So money is a huge thing for me. Regardless of where I'm living. I stress about it now and we pay practically nothing in our apt.
But we both do want to go to Utah. There are so many reasons to go. We want the environment out there, and they people. I miss having good LDS people around that I won't have to worry about conversations and what they get into. I hate some of the things I hear people talking about here and it makes me sad. Sarah I love you, this is not a reflection on you. And I don't only want to have LDS people in my life. Its hard to explain. But I can explain my thought process to you. Especially since I'm sure if I put my true feelings on here someone might feel like I'm talking about them and then that won't be good.
There's a lot of other little-ish things. But we're kind of at a stand still. We've prayed and fasted and prayed some more. We sorta discussed it seriously for the first time yesterday. Which was nice. I think we need a little bit more time than the few minutes or however long we talked about it. But it does look like we're narrowing it down. I'm not sure if we're happy about it or not. It's weird.
And I'm wondering how I tell people? Should we make a big banner? Or just FB it like we did when we found out he got in, mass text? I dunno lol
So that's my update. My concerns, and then nothing really to go on :] I'm sure I just confused people more or frustrated them more about what we're doing! Sorry !
Chris got into BYU. Yay ! Class starts June 18th.We've gotta let BYU know by May 1st. Yay for decision making time. It makes me frustrated that so many people were upset and assumed we were automatically leaving. So I'd get all these "rude" remarks but they were said with a smile or a laugh or JK so I guess I can't take them seriously. But everyone's like Chris can go, but we want you to stay. Or I don't like what I heard. Especially from people I have hardly any contact with. Why does it matter to you? Anger ! So those people I want to just tell off and then leave, just to spite them.
But then I have the wonderful people that listen to me about my concerns, and want whats best for us. Those are my favorites. I always just tell everyone, we're just trying to do the right thing. We want to be where we're supposed to be, where the Lord wants us. And I get 2 responses. 1) I understand that and good luck with deciding. 2)Oh I already know and its here. Oh, YOU know what we're supposed to do with our lives? OH God told YOU what we're supposed to be doing... oh that must be nice.
Sorry, this seems mean. I promise I'm typing this with a smile.
But our decisions (mostly mine) are back and forth and I can't seem to pin down one or the other. As soon as I mentally decide on one i think of all these things good or bad and flip flop to the other. I can't ever make a decision. I told someone yesterday that I'm going to just make a talley and keep track of who tells us to stay and go and we'll go with the opposite of the majority. Right now its like 20 to stay and 2 to leave. So... unfortunately, we won't make our decision that way.
Our biggest concerns are: Chris' credits, which all transfer, but most of them are electives. I'm worried since really, who needs that many electives, that he's going to be behind in school out there to catch up in the curriculum. And I don't want him in school any longer than he has to be. And we don't even know yet if he can get into the business school out there. School is tougher and I don't want him having any trouble passing classes and prolonging graduation. Here at Marshall, he's got his major, he's got his schedule figured out, and we have an end point. And he's got a good degree in mind that I'm a fan of him getting. So that's big concern #1.
Number 2, is money. Well more specifically my job. So I can get a job in a lab or whatever, paying pretty close to what I make now. But I'm afraid it actually might come out to be a pay cut. And even if I make the same amount as here, the cost of living is higher. So I should make more. And bills always stress me out. And how will Chris do handling a tougher curriculum and trying to work :/ So money is a huge thing for me. Regardless of where I'm living. I stress about it now and we pay practically nothing in our apt.
But we both do want to go to Utah. There are so many reasons to go. We want the environment out there, and they people. I miss having good LDS people around that I won't have to worry about conversations and what they get into. I hate some of the things I hear people talking about here and it makes me sad. Sarah I love you, this is not a reflection on you. And I don't only want to have LDS people in my life. Its hard to explain. But I can explain my thought process to you. Especially since I'm sure if I put my true feelings on here someone might feel like I'm talking about them and then that won't be good.
There's a lot of other little-ish things. But we're kind of at a stand still. We've prayed and fasted and prayed some more. We sorta discussed it seriously for the first time yesterday. Which was nice. I think we need a little bit more time than the few minutes or however long we talked about it. But it does look like we're narrowing it down. I'm not sure if we're happy about it or not. It's weird.
And I'm wondering how I tell people? Should we make a big banner? Or just FB it like we did when we found out he got in, mass text? I dunno lol
So that's my update. My concerns, and then nothing really to go on :] I'm sure I just confused people more or frustrated them more about what we're doing! Sorry !
Thursday, February 23, 2012
I need subject matter!
I'd like to think I could be a consistent blogger, and have fun posts that people want to read. But even when I think, hey I want to blog today, I have no idea what to blog about. I know if should just put something, so Sarah can have something to read, but I seem to have too high of standards for my posts. I'm sorry !
So, we went skiing/snowboarding yesterday. Chris has been a few times before. I've never been. I was really anti- the idea at first because I didn't want to be bedridden for the next few days and broken bones scare me. And all those clips on Americas Funniest Home Videos of skiers crashing into things or people... that would be me. But things came together and I reluctantly decided to go, well not too reluctantly. I knew Chris would have fun watching me. So I can be the comedic relief for the day :]
It was a perfect day. Even kinda warm. Which we layered for cold weather, so that was interesting. But I have my new skier-esque jacket and goggles, gloves, skis all the fun stuff that made me look the part. Missed ski school, so we had to wait. In the mean time, lets go down the scariest first hill EVER. I fell. Obviously. My only experience to relate to skiing is Wii skiing... not so comparable. Nintendo lies. But it was fun. After ski school, which totally helps, for me at least. So don't let people lie to you about how pointless it is. Then we just skied. Chris was all over the place on his board, on the crazy high mountains, whipping around everywhere. I never really got to watch him go down one, since he doesn't know the mountain well enough to tell me where he's coming down. And I'm NOT going up on those crazy ones. All in all it was a blast. The day went a lot better than I thought it would. I was exhausted from not getting any sleep and getting up early. But I can walk today. And I'm not broken. No one's broken.
And now for the fun part of the day. We were on our way home and had to run into a hospital to use their ATM (random I know..) and I noticed hey, no one broke anything. We didn't need to take anyone here ! Yay us. And we had quite a few beginners, and daredevils, and a little one. So, that's an accomplishment. Anyways, so we're heading home, its ~930pm ish. 2 hour drive. We're all tired. I swear the road tried to kill Chris axle.. but we get to Hurricane to get gas, and lo and behold we have a flat tire. For how long? If it was the crazy bump thing that I thought was trying to kill us, we were driving on it for a loooong time. And didn't even feel a difference. How is that possible? So instead of unloading all our wet nasty ski clothes, Chris gets the fix-a-flat bottle stuff, blows the tire back up. Just to get us home and then we can get a new one the next day. Well, we start back on the interstate and its make this crazy noise, and wobbling the car. It was almost like putting the tire on and tightening the lug nuts crooked and you get all shaky and there's an ugly noise. And Nick's saying, my tire did that right before it popped. Great... And what did you know. Not even a mile out of Hurricane the tire just blows. Scariest sound ever ! Thank goodness we were expecting it and Chris was going slow.
Ok, now we'll unload the junk from the trunk (te he) and get the spare and all that work blahblahblah. The spare is a used doughnut, with practically 0 tread. This thing was horrible. We're going to die. Go to take the tire off, the T-tool thing we had wasn't the right size to get these lug nuts off... Uh, now what... Highway Patrol to the rescue ! Got the spare on. Realized it was so flat. Had to drive SO slow to Milton, and pump it up. Ok... now can we go home?
And all this time Chris is getting really upset. Obviously. Who wouldn't? It was one thing after the other. It was already way past midnight and we'd been up early, skiing all day, exhausted. And usually I'm the one to lose patience. But my thought was still, no one's had to go to the hospital. I really think we were driving on the flat tire for the longest time and it was raining. Why didn't we swerve, or feel it, or anything? It was like the car was normal until we stopped for gas. So many things could have gone wrong. But I honestly think we were being watched over. I know people say that all the time. But I'd had the weirdest, almost paranoid, feeling since the day before that something was going to happen. I thought it was me hitting a tree, or breaking a bone for the first time. And once we left the ski place, my thought was sweet, we missed all the bad things. But we didn't. I know we were protected. There were too many conditions set against us for us to arrive safely home, just maybe a lot later than we planned. 1am vs 11pm. But we were ok. And I don't know why this meant so much to me. Even sitting on the side of the road waiting, and thinking about how we could have swerved off the road in the mountains in the rain.. I got all choked up. I'm such a sucker. But it really, I don't know. Just meant something.
But that was my moment. Yesterday was probably the best and worst of days for Chris. I had a blast and I'm so glad a hospital wasn't needed. I love knowing that we're being watched over instead of chocking it up to good luck, or somethings stupid.
Ok Sarah? This was a long one :] I'll try to keep my eye out for some blogging material and try to keep up with this. I know I always say that. And I appreciate the friendly reminders !
Nick and Chris wanted to stay later. How much fun would this tire debacle have been 2 hours later..
So, we went skiing/snowboarding yesterday. Chris has been a few times before. I've never been. I was really anti- the idea at first because I didn't want to be bedridden for the next few days and broken bones scare me. And all those clips on Americas Funniest Home Videos of skiers crashing into things or people... that would be me. But things came together and I reluctantly decided to go, well not too reluctantly. I knew Chris would have fun watching me. So I can be the comedic relief for the day :]
It was a perfect day. Even kinda warm. Which we layered for cold weather, so that was interesting. But I have my new skier-esque jacket and goggles, gloves, skis all the fun stuff that made me look the part. Missed ski school, so we had to wait. In the mean time, lets go down the scariest first hill EVER. I fell. Obviously. My only experience to relate to skiing is Wii skiing... not so comparable. Nintendo lies. But it was fun. After ski school, which totally helps, for me at least. So don't let people lie to you about how pointless it is. Then we just skied. Chris was all over the place on his board, on the crazy high mountains, whipping around everywhere. I never really got to watch him go down one, since he doesn't know the mountain well enough to tell me where he's coming down. And I'm NOT going up on those crazy ones. All in all it was a blast. The day went a lot better than I thought it would. I was exhausted from not getting any sleep and getting up early. But I can walk today. And I'm not broken. No one's broken.
And now for the fun part of the day. We were on our way home and had to run into a hospital to use their ATM (random I know..) and I noticed hey, no one broke anything. We didn't need to take anyone here ! Yay us. And we had quite a few beginners, and daredevils, and a little one. So, that's an accomplishment. Anyways, so we're heading home, its ~930pm ish. 2 hour drive. We're all tired. I swear the road tried to kill Chris axle.. but we get to Hurricane to get gas, and lo and behold we have a flat tire. For how long? If it was the crazy bump thing that I thought was trying to kill us, we were driving on it for a loooong time. And didn't even feel a difference. How is that possible? So instead of unloading all our wet nasty ski clothes, Chris gets the fix-a-flat bottle stuff, blows the tire back up. Just to get us home and then we can get a new one the next day. Well, we start back on the interstate and its make this crazy noise, and wobbling the car. It was almost like putting the tire on and tightening the lug nuts crooked and you get all shaky and there's an ugly noise. And Nick's saying, my tire did that right before it popped. Great... And what did you know. Not even a mile out of Hurricane the tire just blows. Scariest sound ever ! Thank goodness we were expecting it and Chris was going slow.
Ok, now we'll unload the junk from the trunk (te he) and get the spare and all that work blahblahblah. The spare is a used doughnut, with practically 0 tread. This thing was horrible. We're going to die. Go to take the tire off, the T-tool thing we had wasn't the right size to get these lug nuts off... Uh, now what... Highway Patrol to the rescue ! Got the spare on. Realized it was so flat. Had to drive SO slow to Milton, and pump it up. Ok... now can we go home?
And all this time Chris is getting really upset. Obviously. Who wouldn't? It was one thing after the other. It was already way past midnight and we'd been up early, skiing all day, exhausted. And usually I'm the one to lose patience. But my thought was still, no one's had to go to the hospital. I really think we were driving on the flat tire for the longest time and it was raining. Why didn't we swerve, or feel it, or anything? It was like the car was normal until we stopped for gas. So many things could have gone wrong. But I honestly think we were being watched over. I know people say that all the time. But I'd had the weirdest, almost paranoid, feeling since the day before that something was going to happen. I thought it was me hitting a tree, or breaking a bone for the first time. And once we left the ski place, my thought was sweet, we missed all the bad things. But we didn't. I know we were protected. There were too many conditions set against us for us to arrive safely home, just maybe a lot later than we planned. 1am vs 11pm. But we were ok. And I don't know why this meant so much to me. Even sitting on the side of the road waiting, and thinking about how we could have swerved off the road in the mountains in the rain.. I got all choked up. I'm such a sucker. But it really, I don't know. Just meant something.
But that was my moment. Yesterday was probably the best and worst of days for Chris. I had a blast and I'm so glad a hospital wasn't needed. I love knowing that we're being watched over instead of chocking it up to good luck, or somethings stupid.
Ok Sarah? This was a long one :] I'll try to keep my eye out for some blogging material and try to keep up with this. I know I always say that. And I appreciate the friendly reminders !
Nick and Chris wanted to stay later. How much fun would this tire debacle have been 2 hours later..
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