Hello 2019.
A new year.
A new you. Full of potential, 365 days, all the options, adventures. For lots of people, full of new years resolutions. I'm already dreading the crowded gym full of the would-be's (that I've TOTALLY been 100 times) and patiently waiting until they quit and I can get on my treadmill in peace. I sound so rude. But really, I AM happy people make goals, shoot for the stars, etc. We're supposed to.
I actually love resolutions. I can't really remember all the past years worth of resolutions that have changed my life, probably cause they only lasted until Feb. 1, maybe. But with 2017 & 2018's resolution to run a 5K (yes it took 2 years.. shh!) I feel like I can do all the things.
So not really thinking of this as a new years resolution I'm shooting for a 10K this year and starting this clean eating challenge. NOT a diet. I hate that word. Ugh. And when I talk about it, people are like yeah, new years, shocking, lose weight, so original, blah blah. NOPE. I mean yes, that would be amazing, but no. Here's why.
For almost two years now I've been trying to have a baby. I'm open to talking about it especially when I get those sassy people who ask, "so when are you having more? Lizzys so big, when's the next coming?" etc etc. And I proceed to tell them waaaay back in 2017 I got off my birth control because of complications and we figured it was God's way of telling us to stop stalling. So we were fine to go along with that. I was frustrated to say the least when a few months rolled by and nothing. With Logan and Lizzy we've never had any trouble and if it took a few months it was because Chris was gone for work or something. Fast forward to countless pregnancy tests, fertility blogs, cycle tracking apps, in April 2018 we finally got a positive test! 11 months later. That looming 12 month deadline hanging over my head that something bigger was wrong. So FINALLY was all I could think. Except that only lasted for a week. One beautiful week of plans and dodging the infertility bullet. But it ended in a miscarriage. I'd had one before Lizzy so I knew what to except, except this time it hurt 1000x worse because we had waited so long. And we were back to square one.
Anywho, its now January 2019, and I wish I could make some huge announcement and say 2019 is going to be the year for us ! Needless to say, I am not pregnant. I didn't have a miracle conception that squeezed in right before Chris left on any of his flights when they fell RIGHT when I was ovulating. And finding out we weren't going to have any kids in 2019 on Christmas Eve was the hardest part to date. Chris is gone for 3 months. Add 3 more months of waiting.
SO moving on. Our fertility journey is actually NOT the point of this post. Its just something I've had weighing on me for (almost) years now and I hate the stigma so here I am talking about it so I can help banish the stigma.
So as 2019 rang in, new and wonderful, I sat with my fresh new amazing planner on the 2019 goals & resolutions page, staring. What was my resolution for this year? What were my goals, what was my "word" of the year? Because its ALWAYS going to be a baby. My goal is to have a baby. But I've done all I can for that. It's completely out of my control and I hate how obsessed I am and how much it floods my every thought and steals every moment from me. So I need to make a goal that I can control. ((Cue my 5K's slow motion video montage in my brain.))
I can do hard things.
My body CAN do amazing incredible things. I HAS done them.
Never ever in my whole entire life have I EVER been able to run a 1/2 mile without dying. And now I can run 3.1 miles and cheer at the end. WHUT. But through patience and diligence I was able to train and get my beautifully created body to a place where it could run that. Happily. Our bodies are pretty amazing things.
So I've decided this new year, to resolve to LOVE my body for what it CAN do and what is HAS done.
My body can run.
I am going to make it run further.
My body has birthed babies.
I pray & hope there are more and it can do it again.
I want to focus on the good of my body. Not the bad.
My word this year is "Peace" and I feel that goes along with all this. I can be at peace with where my body is, what it's capable of doing, and what I have control over in regards to it.
I choose peace in 2019.
See ya at the finish line.
Sunday, January 6, 2019
Tuesday, November 28, 2017
Covenants in Action
Sometime last week, my sweet sister in law and I were walking into Joann's Fabrics to look for Christmas fabric for stockings. We literally stepped through the door, less than 60 seconds in, and a sweet older woman stops her to talk to her adorable 4 month old. Does the normal baby talk and asks a few questions about him. When she asked his name and my sister in law said Chuck, she was taken aback and said oh like Charles? And she said yes, and then the woman proceeded to tell us about her husband, Charles, who died of cancer 4 years previous, and the 18 months to live they were given turned into 3 weeks, and holidays are very rough and she still has a hard time understanding why her sweet husband was taken when all these horrible people walk the earth. Man, talk about a heavy passerby conversation. BUT, my incredible sister in law, Madison, asked this woman, Bonnie, if she was religious. I cringed, way to be forward. //I have also never served a mission and never had to be forward, Madison has, and she rocks it// Bonnie says yes, she believes in God, etc. And Madison says ok good. And then bears her testimony and belief that there was work for this woman's husband in the next life, and that is why God took him from here and left her. And Bonnie still has work to do here and thats why she's still around. But, Madison said, I KNOW you will see your husband again someday and you will work with him side by side in the next life. I was choked up then, and again now typing this. This woman was crying and said do you really believe that? Madison proceeded to invite her to Thanksgiving dinner since Bonnie was alone, who insisted she couldn't possibly intrude, but she told me she was so touched by our kindness, and invitation and she would be able to get through.
Sorry for the detail. I hadn't planned on typing all that. Jump to this past Sunday.
I'm laying around since church doesn't start until noon and my father in law is getting breakfast ready and gets a call. One of the sweetest old men in our Ward [congregation] was found dead that morning and his wife found him, and an ambulance was on the way, and FYI, etc etc. And I watched him jump in to Bishop mode //He recently got called as the Bishop of the Ward here; think like a pastor over a congregation// He started making calls to find someone to go over to the house to sit with this poor widow and help her with whatever she needs. Then he has a meeting prior to church so he's got to get someone to jump in on that so he can also run over to the house and check on things. And between calls, he stops for a second over his breakfast and his eyes well up with tears. He took a deep breath and dials the next number and goes back into work mode. As the news spread, it was amazing to hear in the prayers, pretty much every prayer, asking for blessings and love and comfort for this family.
These two things happened within days of each other and it got me thinking of a scripture in the Book of Mormon. This will also take a little set up. If you've gotten this far, you can do it. I promise I have a point.
In the Book of Mormon there is a prophet preaching to an evil king and his wicked priests. But one of the priests [Alma] isn't so wicked and believes the prophet. He professes this and the other guys try to kill him so he runs off and takes a lot of people from the "kingdom" that also believe to a safe place in the wilderness. So they're hiding out in the wilderness and he's teaching them the words of this [amazing] prophet, Abinidi. And he starts talking about being baptized, and what being baptized means. More than a one time thing, professing Christ is your Savior, and you're saved, but the things you're agreeing to do and be when you are baptized. And that's what I'm getting to. Here are the words.
Mosiah 18:8-10
8. And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for this were they called) and now, as ye are desirers to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light;
9. Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God [...]
10. Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?
Lots of words. But some super awesome good ones full of goodness. Gosh, I love the Book of Mormon. Anyways, the part that jumped into my mind as I sat through church on Sunday and all these things were on my mind, was the bear one another's burdens, willing to mourn with those who mourn, comfort those in need of comfort, and stand as a witness at all times and in all things, even in the aisle of Joann's.
I LOVED seeing these incredible examples in my life this week, of the baptismal covenants in action. Sometimes we forget what we have promised when we were baptized. But this was a lovely reminder to me, that we need to reach out to those around us, whether complete strangers who are having a hard time, you *never* know. I will never forget sweet Bonnie Cobb of Barboursville, WV and her story we were a part of for a few minutes. And I will never forget the look on my father in law's face as he felt and mourned with this new widow and called on many others to go and comfort, and bear burdens and mourn. It was absolutely beautiful and it makes me so proud to call myself a Mormon and a part of this amazing community of Saints in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
#LightTheWorld #ShareGoodness #ImAMormon
Sorry for the detail. I hadn't planned on typing all that. Jump to this past Sunday.
I'm laying around since church doesn't start until noon and my father in law is getting breakfast ready and gets a call. One of the sweetest old men in our Ward [congregation] was found dead that morning and his wife found him, and an ambulance was on the way, and FYI, etc etc. And I watched him jump in to Bishop mode //He recently got called as the Bishop of the Ward here; think like a pastor over a congregation// He started making calls to find someone to go over to the house to sit with this poor widow and help her with whatever she needs. Then he has a meeting prior to church so he's got to get someone to jump in on that so he can also run over to the house and check on things. And between calls, he stops for a second over his breakfast and his eyes well up with tears. He took a deep breath and dials the next number and goes back into work mode. As the news spread, it was amazing to hear in the prayers, pretty much every prayer, asking for blessings and love and comfort for this family.
These two things happened within days of each other and it got me thinking of a scripture in the Book of Mormon. This will also take a little set up. If you've gotten this far, you can do it. I promise I have a point.
In the Book of Mormon there is a prophet preaching to an evil king and his wicked priests. But one of the priests [Alma] isn't so wicked and believes the prophet. He professes this and the other guys try to kill him so he runs off and takes a lot of people from the "kingdom" that also believe to a safe place in the wilderness. So they're hiding out in the wilderness and he's teaching them the words of this [amazing] prophet, Abinidi. And he starts talking about being baptized, and what being baptized means. More than a one time thing, professing Christ is your Savior, and you're saved, but the things you're agreeing to do and be when you are baptized. And that's what I'm getting to. Here are the words.
Mosiah 18:8-10
8. And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for this were they called) and now, as ye are desirers to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light;
9. Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God [...]
10. Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?
Lots of words. But some super awesome good ones full of goodness. Gosh, I love the Book of Mormon. Anyways, the part that jumped into my mind as I sat through church on Sunday and all these things were on my mind, was the bear one another's burdens, willing to mourn with those who mourn, comfort those in need of comfort, and stand as a witness at all times and in all things, even in the aisle of Joann's.
I LOVED seeing these incredible examples in my life this week, of the baptismal covenants in action. Sometimes we forget what we have promised when we were baptized. But this was a lovely reminder to me, that we need to reach out to those around us, whether complete strangers who are having a hard time, you *never* know. I will never forget sweet Bonnie Cobb of Barboursville, WV and her story we were a part of for a few minutes. And I will never forget the look on my father in law's face as he felt and mourned with this new widow and called on many others to go and comfort, and bear burdens and mourn. It was absolutely beautiful and it makes me so proud to call myself a Mormon and a part of this amazing community of Saints in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
#LightTheWorld #ShareGoodness #ImAMormon
Friday, September 8, 2017
If at first you don't succeed...
Every year, one Sunday is kind of "taken over" by the sweet primary aged kids in our congregations. [Usually ages 3-12] It's a chance for them to give the "sermon" and share their testimonies, their experiences and beliefs. They sing songs in between the little talks [or speeches] they give which sweetly and simply share their testimony and beliefs even further.
This is the first year I'm in charge of this 40 minute program, of 25 kids, as part of my calling as the Primary President. [[AH!]] Last year I was the lowly pianist for this program. Oh, that was the dream, kids! Don't mind me while I sob quietly in the corner reminiscing that beautiful moment.
OK! So, every year the lessons for these kids the leaders teach change. We focus on a different theme, have different subtopics we focus on, etc. So every year its different, based on what we've covered this year.
I remember the beautiful spring day when I thought so anti-procastinatingly that I'd start writing the program. [Mind you, the program is usually in the fall, so go me, productive president you.] HA. Let's take bets on how many of you actually thought I'd sat down waaaay back in the spring and wrote this program. It crept closer, it was always kind of looming in the back of my mind, and I'd always look at the calendar and think, "Psh, I've got time." We even scheduled the date with our congregation leadership before I'd written the program. This seems a little backwards.
Fast foward to a few weeks ago. I felt pretty good writing it in August. We had a bunch of kids move in over the summer, so I'm glad I waited to include them and not have to write in a bunch of new parts. We weren't going to practice until the end of Sept/beginning of October, so I had time before the looming "performance" date of Oct 22.
I sat down during one nap time, and busted that sucker out. I felt so good. I had all the speaking parts and talked grouped nicely in little themed bunches, followed by wonderful songs that summarized that section and packaged it all up nicely. HA. Who needs to start in the Spring when I clearly was able to do it in a few hours one day.
I think Satan may have heard that last part.
Cause BOOM. I went to save it. My mac has seen better days so it takes a good 5 mins for it to even register I'm trying to save something. As that little cursor is a-spinnin'... the seconds keep on a-tickin'. Five minutes goes by, [no sweat], 10 minutes goes by [ok, maybe a little sweat], 15... Uh oh. My computer is frozen. I can't click anything, with that danged spinning cursor. I can't switch to any other windows, restart Word... OH.NO. whatamigoingtodo!?
//restart computer//PRAY Word recovered the unsaved file [coolest feature ever, where was that in college, and why didn't I learn in college to SAVE AS YOU GO.]
Open word. Nothing. And "recovered" files weren't this lovely program I'd just written. Went into the brains of my computer to see if there was a trace of a recovered file, temporary file, any file.. nope. Nada. ::deeeeeep breathes, Haley::
I closed my computer, walked away, before I killed it and cried on my kitchen floor.
I told my fellow Primary leader, I guess something I'd written wasn't supposed to be spoken, or I'd left something out, or the program wasn't quite what the Lord wanted. Right? I was going to divine intervention instead of undivine mayhem. I'm convinced Satan controls electronics and thats why they reap so much destruction or always go wrong when you need them to, or that perfect video that's worked every time, stops working the second you need it for you Sunday School lesson. I know you know what I'm talking about. So I decided to err on the side of light, and I'd come back to it once my heart rate slowed down.
Uh... that was almost 3 weeks ago. Procrastinate much? I won't deny I wasn't a little bitter that'd I'd already sat down for hours, mapped it out, consulted the months and weeks of themes, the lists of kids on the rosters, who would be suited to read what parts, etc. I already did the work. So WHY was I being made to do it ALL over again??
Well as the days have crept through September, closing in on our first practice date, before which I need to hand out parts for kids to prepare and practice, a Bishop that needs to approve the program.. I finally sat down on this very late Thursday night to work on it.
Hopped up on far too much Pepsi, some beautiful simple church music playing, I started on that blank Word window. Now I'm not done. I have a few things to tweek. Some areas that need a little something. But I have it. 3 pages of glorious-ness [does that sound too prideful.. sorry!]
And as I scrolled over it, making notes on what to work on tomorrow, I felt in my heart, "This is what I wanted you to come up with."
So many times in our lives we are doing the Lord's work, whether in church areas, or in our own personal lives. We're working towards Him. And we have the plan, we have the idea of how its going to turn out, how its going to end up and be perfectly wrapped up in the end. And that final vision gets deleted. And we cry, or scream, or get angry that we did all this work, all this good work, what we thought was right, to have it all fall apart.
But once we stop, take a breath, hopefully say a prayer or two, and get back to work, we'll see, it ends up exactly how the Lord wanted it to end. And wealmost always see His way was so much better than ours.
I know this program isn't going to change anyone's life. It's not going to rock someone to their soul, or change their entire perspective. They're usually just a sweet simple reminder of how adorable the kids in the church are, and the simple truths they come to testify of.
But you know what. This primary program changed my perspective. 💗
This is the first year I'm in charge of this 40 minute program, of 25 kids, as part of my calling as the Primary President. [[AH!]] Last year I was the lowly pianist for this program. Oh, that was the dream, kids! Don't mind me while I sob quietly in the corner reminiscing that beautiful moment.
OK! So, every year the lessons for these kids the leaders teach change. We focus on a different theme, have different subtopics we focus on, etc. So every year its different, based on what we've covered this year.
I remember the beautiful spring day when I thought so anti-procastinatingly that I'd start writing the program. [Mind you, the program is usually in the fall, so go me, productive president you.] HA. Let's take bets on how many of you actually thought I'd sat down waaaay back in the spring and wrote this program. It crept closer, it was always kind of looming in the back of my mind, and I'd always look at the calendar and think, "Psh, I've got time." We even scheduled the date with our congregation leadership before I'd written the program. This seems a little backwards.
Fast foward to a few weeks ago. I felt pretty good writing it in August. We had a bunch of kids move in over the summer, so I'm glad I waited to include them and not have to write in a bunch of new parts. We weren't going to practice until the end of Sept/beginning of October, so I had time before the looming "performance" date of Oct 22.
I sat down during one nap time, and busted that sucker out. I felt so good. I had all the speaking parts and talked grouped nicely in little themed bunches, followed by wonderful songs that summarized that section and packaged it all up nicely. HA. Who needs to start in the Spring when I clearly was able to do it in a few hours one day.
I think Satan may have heard that last part.
Cause BOOM. I went to save it. My mac has seen better days so it takes a good 5 mins for it to even register I'm trying to save something. As that little cursor is a-spinnin'... the seconds keep on a-tickin'. Five minutes goes by, [no sweat], 10 minutes goes by [ok, maybe a little sweat], 15... Uh oh. My computer is frozen. I can't click anything, with that danged spinning cursor. I can't switch to any other windows, restart Word... OH.NO. whatamigoingtodo!?
//restart computer//PRAY Word recovered the unsaved file [coolest feature ever, where was that in college, and why didn't I learn in college to SAVE AS YOU GO.]
Open word. Nothing. And "recovered" files weren't this lovely program I'd just written. Went into the brains of my computer to see if there was a trace of a recovered file, temporary file, any file.. nope. Nada. ::deeeeeep breathes, Haley::
I closed my computer, walked away, before I killed it and cried on my kitchen floor.
I told my fellow Primary leader, I guess something I'd written wasn't supposed to be spoken, or I'd left something out, or the program wasn't quite what the Lord wanted. Right? I was going to divine intervention instead of undivine mayhem. I'm convinced Satan controls electronics and thats why they reap so much destruction or always go wrong when you need them to, or that perfect video that's worked every time, stops working the second you need it for you Sunday School lesson. I know you know what I'm talking about. So I decided to err on the side of light, and I'd come back to it once my heart rate slowed down.
Uh... that was almost 3 weeks ago. Procrastinate much? I won't deny I wasn't a little bitter that'd I'd already sat down for hours, mapped it out, consulted the months and weeks of themes, the lists of kids on the rosters, who would be suited to read what parts, etc. I already did the work. So WHY was I being made to do it ALL over again??
Well as the days have crept through September, closing in on our first practice date, before which I need to hand out parts for kids to prepare and practice, a Bishop that needs to approve the program.. I finally sat down on this very late Thursday night to work on it.
Hopped up on far too much Pepsi, some beautiful simple church music playing, I started on that blank Word window. Now I'm not done. I have a few things to tweek. Some areas that need a little something. But I have it. 3 pages of glorious-ness [does that sound too prideful.. sorry!]
And as I scrolled over it, making notes on what to work on tomorrow, I felt in my heart, "This is what I wanted you to come up with."
So many times in our lives we are doing the Lord's work, whether in church areas, or in our own personal lives. We're working towards Him. And we have the plan, we have the idea of how its going to turn out, how its going to end up and be perfectly wrapped up in the end. And that final vision gets deleted. And we cry, or scream, or get angry that we did all this work, all this good work, what we thought was right, to have it all fall apart.
But once we stop, take a breath, hopefully say a prayer or two, and get back to work, we'll see, it ends up exactly how the Lord wanted it to end. And we
I know this program isn't going to change anyone's life. It's not going to rock someone to their soul, or change their entire perspective. They're usually just a sweet simple reminder of how adorable the kids in the church are, and the simple truths they come to testify of.
But you know what. This primary program changed my perspective. 💗
Tuesday, September 5, 2017
Be Still & Know
I consider myself to be a pretty happy person. When things go wrong or get me down, I find some chocolate (obviously, have you seen me lately lol), have a good cry, text "my person" and pick up the next day and go on. I'm pretty good at this.
I've had some pretty low moments in my life. Nothing too crazy or intense, in comparison to some, but for me. And its always amazing and a testament to me to look back and think, "Hey, I did that. Look what I made it through!"
What's getting me right now is I can't put my finger on what the heck is wrong. I just feel like there is an icy cold grip on my heart. Is this what anxiety feels like? I'm generally pretty go with the flow, so if something is bothering me I just sit back, watch some Netflix and get back to life when I feel like it. But lately it's been more of keep busy so I don't stop and think, I don't feel this feeling. What is that !
I can probably list some things that it could be... Scrolling through facebook and seeing all the craziness going on, geez. I mean my life isn't that bad. But I'm not saying my life is peachy-keen right now either. We've all got our share of behind the scenes burdens, that either we're used to carrying so we don't notice or we're in denial we're carrying. Maybe because anything I could attribute this to is out of my control. 100%. If you know me, this sucks. I HATE to not be in control. I always have an answer. I have a plan. I have a solution.
And I guess I do have a solution. Maybe. When I was thinking of sharing this, probably more for me than anyone else, ya know, therapeutic, get it out, blah blah blah. For some reason the same scripture kept popping into my head. Depending on your religious affiliation its Pslams 46:10 or my for LDS readers out there D&C 101:16. "Be still and know that I am God."
There it is.
For my purposes I'll refer to the D&C scripture. Especially since its surrounding text has a little more meaning for my heart.
That whole scripture reads:
Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God.
I love that only part of this scripture was whispered to my aching heart. I had to go seek it out. Love that. Make me work.
Let my heart be comforted concerning Zion. How did it know I was worried about my future, my families future, our salvation. The first part. Be comforted. ::Breathe, Haley:: We're all taken care of. Not just me and mine, but all flesh is in His hands. He's got us, guys. He's taking care of us. Be comforted, because He's holding us. Remember the kids' song, He's got the whole world in His hands? It's true.
And then, be still. //Stop stressing, Haley// Just be. Be here and now. Don't worry about what's coming. I mean still plan and work and do things, but not with fear. Only faith.
And probably my favorite part. Know that I am God. <3
How do you come to know God? For me its scriptures and prayer. Well, duh I'm afraid and lacking faith, I can't tell how long its been since I've read scriptures, for me. It's been weeks. Solution #1 ! No brainer, I know. And prayer. Lately, I find myself only guiltily praying when I need something. "Oh hey, um.. sorry its been a while, but... i need this favor 😬😬" Yup thats me. So solution #2. Pray! My Heavenly Father cares that I'm worried, tired, stressed, overwhelmed, scared, happy, sad, excited, nervous, WHATEVER. Just as a parent wants to hear how every detail of your kids day was (well most days 😜) that's how our Heavenly Father is. He wants to know how your day went, He knows. But he still wants to hear it. And lastly, I can know God by simply just watching. Watching the sunset. Watch the wind blow my clean clothes. Watch my kids play (hopefully sweetly together). And there we have it, looping back around to being still.
I'm sure I'm not that only one that deals with these (hopefully) mild anxiety moments. Hats off to people who have bigger issues and deal with this more often, constantly. My heart goes out to you. And I know sometimes praying and scriptures aren't enough. But for now, that's my prescription. Because that was my first question. When was the last time I'd done these things. Weeks. Well no wonder you've felt "off" for that time. Seek help if you need it. Whether from a doctor or the Healer of our Souls.
This was long. Sorry. Again, hopefully this was just therapeutic for me. If you made it this far, I'll give you a cookie next time we meet !
I've had some pretty low moments in my life. Nothing too crazy or intense, in comparison to some, but for me. And its always amazing and a testament to me to look back and think, "Hey, I did that. Look what I made it through!"
What's getting me right now is I can't put my finger on what the heck is wrong. I just feel like there is an icy cold grip on my heart. Is this what anxiety feels like? I'm generally pretty go with the flow, so if something is bothering me I just sit back, watch some Netflix and get back to life when I feel like it. But lately it's been more of keep busy so I don't stop and think, I don't feel this feeling. What is that !
I can probably list some things that it could be... Scrolling through facebook and seeing all the craziness going on, geez. I mean my life isn't that bad. But I'm not saying my life is peachy-keen right now either. We've all got our share of behind the scenes burdens, that either we're used to carrying so we don't notice or we're in denial we're carrying. Maybe because anything I could attribute this to is out of my control. 100%. If you know me, this sucks. I HATE to not be in control. I always have an answer. I have a plan. I have a solution.
And I guess I do have a solution. Maybe. When I was thinking of sharing this, probably more for me than anyone else, ya know, therapeutic, get it out, blah blah blah. For some reason the same scripture kept popping into my head. Depending on your religious affiliation its Pslams 46:10 or my for LDS readers out there D&C 101:16. "Be still and know that I am God."
There it is.
For my purposes I'll refer to the D&C scripture. Especially since its surrounding text has a little more meaning for my heart.
That whole scripture reads:
Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God.
I love that only part of this scripture was whispered to my aching heart. I had to go seek it out. Love that. Make me work.
Let my heart be comforted concerning Zion. How did it know I was worried about my future, my families future, our salvation. The first part. Be comforted. ::Breathe, Haley:: We're all taken care of. Not just me and mine, but all flesh is in His hands. He's got us, guys. He's taking care of us. Be comforted, because He's holding us. Remember the kids' song, He's got the whole world in His hands? It's true.
And then, be still. //Stop stressing, Haley// Just be. Be here and now. Don't worry about what's coming. I mean still plan and work and do things, but not with fear. Only faith.
And probably my favorite part. Know that I am God. <3
How do you come to know God? For me its scriptures and prayer. Well, duh I'm afraid and lacking faith, I can't tell how long its been since I've read scriptures, for me. It's been weeks. Solution #1 ! No brainer, I know. And prayer. Lately, I find myself only guiltily praying when I need something. "Oh hey, um.. sorry its been a while, but... i need this favor 😬😬" Yup thats me. So solution #2. Pray! My Heavenly Father cares that I'm worried, tired, stressed, overwhelmed, scared, happy, sad, excited, nervous, WHATEVER. Just as a parent wants to hear how every detail of your kids day was (well most days 😜) that's how our Heavenly Father is. He wants to know how your day went, He knows. But he still wants to hear it. And lastly, I can know God by simply just watching. Watching the sunset. Watch the wind blow my clean clothes. Watch my kids play (hopefully sweetly together). And there we have it, looping back around to being still.
I'm sure I'm not that only one that deals with these (hopefully) mild anxiety moments. Hats off to people who have bigger issues and deal with this more often, constantly. My heart goes out to you. And I know sometimes praying and scriptures aren't enough. But for now, that's my prescription. Because that was my first question. When was the last time I'd done these things. Weeks. Well no wonder you've felt "off" for that time. Seek help if you need it. Whether from a doctor or the Healer of our Souls.
This was long. Sorry. Again, hopefully this was just therapeutic for me. If you made it this far, I'll give you a cookie next time we meet !
Thursday, February 23, 2017
Feast on the words of Christ... or casually pick at it when I'm spiritually hungry?
So random post. It's been, what, almost a year since my last post? Why not post something totally random and off topic ! At midnight, no less !
I usually struggle to mark the standard "to-do's" off my list. There's always something I should be better at, do more often, blah blah blah. ((Can i get an amen!))
But recently I've tried to take the pressure off myself, and say "hey, you've got two kids, home alone, ALL.DAY.EVERY.DAY. with a husband at training 12hrs a day, and then home to study/prep for tomorrow and sleep, before he hits repeat and does it again!" I know being a single mom is hard, and i'm not "technically" but really, I'm a single mom. ((don't glare at me))
So those days the dishes stack up, I'm ok with it. Those days I'm fishing for ANY sort of clean undergarment, gold star if you made it through the day, Haley!
But one BIG thing that bugs me, constantly, has been scripture study. It's been on my mind a TON lately, especially the last few months, after being called as our Ward (congregation's) Primary President. ((Basically with the help of two amazing counselors, I oversee the children program at my church, 18mos-12 years. Teaching, music, teachers, etc) ((can you say "AHHHH!?")). I feel like with this HUGE responsibility, I definitely need to make sure I'm doing all I can to stay spiritually on the right side and in tune with the Spirit. And scripture study is RIGHT at the top of that list of Holy Ghost magnets. ((can i copyright that? Holy Ghost magnets!? Im seeing an awesome visual lesson for kids! See its working! Inspiration! sorry i digress))
But let's be honest. If I barely squeeze in a showerthree times two times a week, when the heck am I supposed to hit the mom pause button to stop and sit still and FOCUS, study and really take in the scriptures?? Without littles wanting my attention!?
So I've been trying to find out how I can feast. In the Book of Mormon (coolest book ever, go check it out), there is a prophet Nephi, and he said, "Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all thing what ye should do." LINK
So how can I feast? When I don't have the time for a feast. Think about all the time and prep and savoring that goes into Thanksgiving dinner? Especially versus a normal dinner. Now do that everyday. AH. So I've decided to hit the scripture study, as often as I can. Obviously the goal is everyday. BUT, my goal 2.0 is to FEAST when I actually get the time to. So instead of halfheartedly reading a chapter everyday, between snacks and yelling at kids, so I can check it off, I'll be more aware of how I'm spending my time, and carve out a chunk and actually STUDY during my scripture study time. And sometimes its an hour, sometimes its 15 minutes before a baby cries through that dang monitor. But you know what, its a dang good 15 minutes.
I've gotten a cheap lame little notebook. I made the front cute with my little scripture journal title, and I turn on some awesome instrumental Jesus music. And open my scriptures. I go verse by SINGLE verse. It takes a while. A lonnnnng while. But I can stop and read the cross references. Or think about why they used this specific word or analogy. Or take the time to google the meaning of a word I *think* i know, but in reality i have no idea and just skim over. I bring up some awesome study guides put out by the LDS church that go right along with the reading ((shout out to institute manuals. i. love. you.)) They break down verses, historical context, definitions, everything ! It's incredible the knowledge that just hits me. And instead of rushing through my chapter so I can go take care of something else, I'm sad when I inevitably have to stop studying and go back to mom mode.
I only want to share this because I've been studying in 2 Nephi (Book of Mormon) where Nephi basically is teaching & quoting Isaiah from the Old Testament. And if you've ever tried to read Isaiah, wow. Go you. I'm pretty sure there's a stigma in the church with "the Isaiah chapters" and books on how to read, understand, apply, survive reading them without dying of confusion. But after I've stopped just rushing through the confusing poetry that is Isaiah, there is SO much good stuff ! I wish I could just keep going on for hours and type out my notes, and sit down with you and read you a verse and go, "see, isn't that SO cool !? Did you know that's what he meant?! AH !"
I feel my heart exploding with love for Isaiah, the incredible responsibility he had in his war stricken time, and the amazing words he recorded for all people. I love Nephi for teaching these scriptures to his family. And I hope he took the time to explain the nitty gritty details I'm uncovering. I'm so thankful for modern prophets that receive revelation and pass them on to us to help us understand the scriptures, the meanings, and how they apply to our lives.
I love the Book of Mormon. I've read through it quite a few times and love it more every time. And I want to love EVERY part. I want to dive into it and completely immerse myself in the teachings found there. I hope I can take the time to feast, actually fill my hungered soul, from time to time, as often as motherhood will let me. I hope it's not a casual 'open-the-fridge-door-to-see-what-looks-good' snacking type of relationship.
I usually struggle to mark the standard "to-do's" off my list. There's always something I should be better at, do more often, blah blah blah. ((Can i get an amen!))
But recently I've tried to take the pressure off myself, and say "hey, you've got two kids, home alone, ALL.DAY.EVERY.DAY. with a husband at training 12hrs a day, and then home to study/prep for tomorrow and sleep, before he hits repeat and does it again!" I know being a single mom is hard, and i'm not "technically" but really, I'm a single mom. ((don't glare at me))
So those days the dishes stack up, I'm ok with it. Those days I'm fishing for ANY sort of clean undergarment, gold star if you made it through the day, Haley!
But one BIG thing that bugs me, constantly, has been scripture study. It's been on my mind a TON lately, especially the last few months, after being called as our Ward (congregation's) Primary President. ((Basically with the help of two amazing counselors, I oversee the children program at my church, 18mos-12 years. Teaching, music, teachers, etc) ((can you say "AHHHH!?")). I feel like with this HUGE responsibility, I definitely need to make sure I'm doing all I can to stay spiritually on the right side and in tune with the Spirit. And scripture study is RIGHT at the top of that list of Holy Ghost magnets. ((can i copyright that? Holy Ghost magnets!? Im seeing an awesome visual lesson for kids! See its working! Inspiration! sorry i digress))
But let's be honest. If I barely squeeze in a shower
So I've been trying to find out how I can feast. In the Book of Mormon (coolest book ever, go check it out), there is a prophet Nephi, and he said, "Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all thing what ye should do." LINK
So how can I feast? When I don't have the time for a feast. Think about all the time and prep and savoring that goes into Thanksgiving dinner? Especially versus a normal dinner. Now do that everyday. AH. So I've decided to hit the scripture study, as often as I can. Obviously the goal is everyday. BUT, my goal 2.0 is to FEAST when I actually get the time to. So instead of halfheartedly reading a chapter everyday, between snacks and yelling at kids, so I can check it off, I'll be more aware of how I'm spending my time, and carve out a chunk and actually STUDY during my scripture study time. And sometimes its an hour, sometimes its 15 minutes before a baby cries through that dang monitor. But you know what, its a dang good 15 minutes.
I've gotten a cheap lame little notebook. I made the front cute with my little scripture journal title, and I turn on some awesome instrumental Jesus music. And open my scriptures. I go verse by SINGLE verse. It takes a while. A lonnnnng while. But I can stop and read the cross references. Or think about why they used this specific word or analogy. Or take the time to google the meaning of a word I *think* i know, but in reality i have no idea and just skim over. I bring up some awesome study guides put out by the LDS church that go right along with the reading ((shout out to institute manuals. i. love. you.)) They break down verses, historical context, definitions, everything ! It's incredible the knowledge that just hits me. And instead of rushing through my chapter so I can go take care of something else, I'm sad when I inevitably have to stop studying and go back to mom mode.
I only want to share this because I've been studying in 2 Nephi (Book of Mormon) where Nephi basically is teaching & quoting Isaiah from the Old Testament. And if you've ever tried to read Isaiah, wow. Go you. I'm pretty sure there's a stigma in the church with "the Isaiah chapters" and books on how to read, understand, apply, survive reading them without dying of confusion. But after I've stopped just rushing through the confusing poetry that is Isaiah, there is SO much good stuff ! I wish I could just keep going on for hours and type out my notes, and sit down with you and read you a verse and go, "see, isn't that SO cool !? Did you know that's what he meant?! AH !"
I feel my heart exploding with love for Isaiah, the incredible responsibility he had in his war stricken time, and the amazing words he recorded for all people. I love Nephi for teaching these scriptures to his family. And I hope he took the time to explain the nitty gritty details I'm uncovering. I'm so thankful for modern prophets that receive revelation and pass them on to us to help us understand the scriptures, the meanings, and how they apply to our lives.
I love the Book of Mormon. I've read through it quite a few times and love it more every time. And I want to love EVERY part. I want to dive into it and completely immerse myself in the teachings found there. I hope I can take the time to feast, actually fill my hungered soul, from time to time, as often as motherhood will let me. I hope it's not a casual 'open-the-fridge-door-to-see-what-looks-good' snacking type of relationship.
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
When ye are in the service of your fellow beings...
“And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God” (Mosiah 2:17)
Since General Conference (a bi-annual broadcast the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints holds where we gather to listen to messages prepared from Prophets, Apostles and other general leadership) I've decided every week to listen, read, take notes, review,etc the talks from the latest Conference. It's a goal I usually have every year... but we'll see. Mostly because I get SO excited for Conference. Look forward to it and drink in the messages prepared, and love it. And then don't ever go back and remind myself of those messages. It's sad. It's a waste. So with my new-ish goal in mind, I started last week listening to Cheryl Esplin's, the First Counselor in the General Primary Presidency, talk titled, "He Asks Us to Be His Hands."
I wish I could narrow down some of her great material and share some here. But you'll just have to go over and read/listen to it yourself. It's found here. Wonderful. Beautiful quotes, examples about service and what we should be doing.
I had a very busy week, full of service. Some of the days I was happily serving. Other days, begrudgingly. But, throughout the week I remembered this talk. I'm supposed to be serving. I'm supposed to WANT to be serving. But I wanted to do more. I wanted to find more ways to serve. By the end of the week I was sad I didn't serve in any way how I had "planned" to serve. Instead I kept thinking of all the times someone came and helped me. When someone brought me dinner, took my son for a play date, stopped by for some grown up conversation. I was mad at myself. "Haley, why didn't YOU do any of those things?"
But then, after I stopped being down on myself, I realized look at how much help you had. Look at the amazing examples of service you have around you. Look at these amazing people placed in your life, bringing Sister Esplin's talk to life. They're living the words shes spoke.
I may not have gotten around to serving "the way I planned" this past week, however, I was able to stop and see the countless ways others stepped in and provided that same service I wanted to accomplish. With Chris gone for almost a month now, it's getting tough. But you all never cease to amaze me how you jump and step in. I am in awe of your Spirit, your sacrifice and your desire to follow our Savior. Just as the scripture stated in the beginning, you truly are serving God.
Thank you.
Since General Conference (a bi-annual broadcast the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints holds where we gather to listen to messages prepared from Prophets, Apostles and other general leadership) I've decided every week to listen, read, take notes, review,etc the talks from the latest Conference. It's a goal I usually have every year... but we'll see. Mostly because I get SO excited for Conference. Look forward to it and drink in the messages prepared, and love it. And then don't ever go back and remind myself of those messages. It's sad. It's a waste. So with my new-ish goal in mind, I started last week listening to Cheryl Esplin's, the First Counselor in the General Primary Presidency, talk titled, "He Asks Us to Be His Hands."
I wish I could narrow down some of her great material and share some here. But you'll just have to go over and read/listen to it yourself. It's found here. Wonderful. Beautiful quotes, examples about service and what we should be doing.
I had a very busy week, full of service. Some of the days I was happily serving. Other days, begrudgingly. But, throughout the week I remembered this talk. I'm supposed to be serving. I'm supposed to WANT to be serving. But I wanted to do more. I wanted to find more ways to serve. By the end of the week I was sad I didn't serve in any way how I had "planned" to serve. Instead I kept thinking of all the times someone came and helped me. When someone brought me dinner, took my son for a play date, stopped by for some grown up conversation. I was mad at myself. "Haley, why didn't YOU do any of those things?"
But then, after I stopped being down on myself, I realized look at how much help you had. Look at the amazing examples of service you have around you. Look at these amazing people placed in your life, bringing Sister Esplin's talk to life. They're living the words shes spoke.
I may not have gotten around to serving "the way I planned" this past week, however, I was able to stop and see the countless ways others stepped in and provided that same service I wanted to accomplish. With Chris gone for almost a month now, it's getting tough. But you all never cease to amaze me how you jump and step in. I am in awe of your Spirit, your sacrifice and your desire to follow our Savior. Just as the scripture stated in the beginning, you truly are serving God.
Thank you.
Monday, September 21, 2015
Location, location, location
I know you always hear that "location, location, location" and how it makes ALL the difference. In everything it seems. Real estate, jobs, life. Perspective. <----- I've been thinking a lot lately, since I have some "thinking" time during the cleaning & mickey mouse episodes.
Things have been... rough for our family. I can't say hard, well maybe I can. They have been hard/rough for us. I know there are a BILLION families that deal with harder/tougher/tragic-er (is that a word?) things every day all day. But I'm a firm believer that just because there are children starving in China and that make $0.50 a day doesn't mean you can't also be experiencing tough things in your life.
All this recently came to light in my mind when I got a sweet birthday message from a best-ish friend I haven't talked to in forever, sadly, cause I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people. Ugh I hate it. So he doesn't really know whats going on in life and all the gritty details of the stress and struggle that we are going through. But something he said pierced my heart and at first I rolled my eyes and then really got to thinking. Amid the happy birthday wishes and haven't talk and hope you're well he said "You're accomplishing your dreams." I rolled my eyes. Seriously. Might have even had a little scoff in there when I read that. Im not a jerk (usually) but I'm sorry. Who's freakin' dream is it to be SO uncomfortably pregnant, jobless, husband pretty much jobless, with two degrees, debt, loans, bills, and NO foreseeable reliable income !? I can't sleep, from baby stuff, and then just life. When will Chris get a job? Do I need to get a job? Can I leave TWO kids and go to work? Can I even hack it and stay home with TWO kids ?! When is his next pay check coming in? When will our insurance kick in, since ya know, there's a freaking kid busting outta my gut? And my friend has the NERVE to say I'm accomplishing MY dreams?!
This all passed through my head in the millisecond it took me to continue to the next sentence. And then the next day it kept popping up, "I'm accomplishing my dreams." Really?
Now I don't know what his life situation is save his amazing wife posting adorable pictures and what info I can sherlockianly deduce from said statuses and pictures. So to me he has a new house, a good job, she pins adorable things I'm assuming she's got the money to fund, and they have adorable dates and cute pictures, and and and and.
I want a job (for me or hubby), I want income, I want a house, I want want want etc etc. I'm starting to see a grass is greener thing...
They've been married for some time, and while this is TOTALLY my own conclusion and my insane thinking and what if's, but I love him and he can forgive me if I'm way off base, but what if there is a struggle for family happening? That I don't see? I have ALWAYS dreamed of being a mom. And now I have an amazing little princess coming in the next 6 weeks (EEK!). That gives us two awesome little babies. So he may see the pictures on Facebook of my pretty awesome little guy and think man.. I can't wait till I have one of those, whether from their personal choices or otherwise. So maybe from his *location* I AM accomplishing my dreams. And from my location he's accomplishing his and mine. I want what he's got and all the while I've got stuff too.
"The things you take for granted someone else is praying for."
I'm not saying this friend is praying for what I've got but someone somewhere is. Whether it be an awesome husband, an adorable son, my incredible family, church, faith, health, a house, a dishwasher... whatever it is.
I've watched from a distance as friends struggle with infertility, infidelity, divorce, addiction...
"Be thankful for what you have. Your life, no matter how bad you think it is, is someone else's fairytale."
Remember perspective people. From where you're standing things might look pretty terrible, but... change your point of view. Change your location. Its all about location location location.
Things have been... rough for our family. I can't say hard, well maybe I can. They have been hard/rough for us. I know there are a BILLION families that deal with harder/tougher/tragic-er (is that a word?) things every day all day. But I'm a firm believer that just because there are children starving in China and that make $0.50 a day doesn't mean you can't also be experiencing tough things in your life.
All this recently came to light in my mind when I got a sweet birthday message from a best-ish friend I haven't talked to in forever, sadly, cause I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people. Ugh I hate it. So he doesn't really know whats going on in life and all the gritty details of the stress and struggle that we are going through. But something he said pierced my heart and at first I rolled my eyes and then really got to thinking. Amid the happy birthday wishes and haven't talk and hope you're well he said "You're accomplishing your dreams." I rolled my eyes. Seriously. Might have even had a little scoff in there when I read that. Im not a jerk (usually) but I'm sorry. Who's freakin' dream is it to be SO uncomfortably pregnant, jobless, husband pretty much jobless, with two degrees, debt, loans, bills, and NO foreseeable reliable income !? I can't sleep, from baby stuff, and then just life. When will Chris get a job? Do I need to get a job? Can I leave TWO kids and go to work? Can I even hack it and stay home with TWO kids ?! When is his next pay check coming in? When will our insurance kick in, since ya know, there's a freaking kid busting outta my gut? And my friend has the NERVE to say I'm accomplishing MY dreams?!
This all passed through my head in the millisecond it took me to continue to the next sentence. And then the next day it kept popping up, "I'm accomplishing my dreams." Really?
Now I don't know what his life situation is save his amazing wife posting adorable pictures and what info I can sherlockianly deduce from said statuses and pictures. So to me he has a new house, a good job, she pins adorable things I'm assuming she's got the money to fund, and they have adorable dates and cute pictures, and and and and.
I want a job (for me or hubby), I want income, I want a house, I want want want etc etc. I'm starting to see a grass is greener thing...
They've been married for some time, and while this is TOTALLY my own conclusion and my insane thinking and what if's, but I love him and he can forgive me if I'm way off base, but what if there is a struggle for family happening? That I don't see? I have ALWAYS dreamed of being a mom. And now I have an amazing little princess coming in the next 6 weeks (EEK!). That gives us two awesome little babies. So he may see the pictures on Facebook of my pretty awesome little guy and think man.. I can't wait till I have one of those, whether from their personal choices or otherwise. So maybe from his *location* I AM accomplishing my dreams. And from my location he's accomplishing his and mine. I want what he's got and all the while I've got stuff too.
"The things you take for granted someone else is praying for."
I'm not saying this friend is praying for what I've got but someone somewhere is. Whether it be an awesome husband, an adorable son, my incredible family, church, faith, health, a house, a dishwasher... whatever it is.
I've watched from a distance as friends struggle with infertility, infidelity, divorce, addiction...
"Be thankful for what you have. Your life, no matter how bad you think it is, is someone else's fairytale."
Remember perspective people. From where you're standing things might look pretty terrible, but... change your point of view. Change your location. Its all about location location location.
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
My two cents no one asked for...
This should come as no surprise to you reading this, seeing as it's mostly all anyone can talk about right now. I usually always refrain from commenting on controversial issues on Facebook, or posting my own thoughts, or whatever the case may be. Heck, sometimes I am even so scared to LIKE someone else's status, picture, comment so someone will see it roll their eyes at me and go off on some tirade against my opinion.
However, this is something that has been on my mind A LOT the past day or two. Something I have written and rewritten in my head. I've hit the internet to read, to "research" if you can. I've read statuses, discussion, blog posts, on either side of the spectrum. And usually that's where I leave it.
Except I can't.
Some thing I remember from the past few conferences give by my church, some of the addresses said things like:
I hope I have made an appropriate stance. I have to be bold. I have to declare what I know is true. In this world of corroding morals and values, I can't expect to teach my children right and wrong if I'm afraid to open my mouth on these issues. I love ALL of you. All shapes, sizes, sexual orientations, religions, beliefs etc etc. This truly comes from a place of love. Please ask questions, ask to clarify. Please be respectful. Please be patient with my shortcomings.
In the end, I'm Haley. And I'm a Mormon.
Want more information on my beliefs, church, or anything else?
http://www.mormon.org
https://www.lds.org
However, this is something that has been on my mind A LOT the past day or two. Something I have written and rewritten in my head. I've hit the internet to read, to "research" if you can. I've read statuses, discussion, blog posts, on either side of the spectrum. And usually that's where I leave it.
Except I can't.
Some thing I remember from the past few conferences give by my church, some of the addresses said things like:
- pray for the faith and strength to be more bold in opening your mouth to proclaim the restored gospel
- are called upon to boldly defend
- will speak boldly, hoping to edify and not to offend.
- This desire to share the gospel with others and the confidence to testify boldly.
Bold. Be bold.
So this is me being bold. Like above, I do not wish to offend. I only wish to express my opinions, as I've seen so many do the past two days. I am not a writer; it will be a feeble attempt at best and I will warn you, I'm sure I will word something wrong, or something will be misunderstood or twisted to seem a certain way. Bear with me. Cut me a break. Think back to how many times you've seen me go on some tirade on your status I didn't agree on. Oh, I haven't? Please remember that.
I will start this saying I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am a Mormon, LDS, whatever you know us as. If anyone who knows me personally know this is a very HUGE part of who I am, of the decisions I make, big and small, in life. How I talk, how I act, even down to what movies I see. We are Christians, we strive to follow Christ, in the best way we know how. We try. We fail. We get up and try again. I am not perfect, no one is.
It should come as no shock then that with Bruce Jenner coming out as Caitlyn would be something I don't agree with. Something I can't support. [Here's where I will become weak in my words, if I've even been strong at all previously.]
In my church we believe that "gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." (See The Family) God created man and woman. We are his precious creations. To avoid the cliche I've seen all over the internet, God makes no mistakes. So for Bruce/Caitlyn to look at what God gave him and decide our Heavenly Father messed up and he can fix it, just isn't right. That gender extends beyond this earthly life. It was who we were before we came and it will be who we are in the next life.
I make no assumption at understanding what it's like AT ALL to be so uncomfortable in ones body, to feel like you are wrong and living a lie every day. I am not transgender, gay, lesbian. I have had my demons in the past and made my mistakes but I make no comparison at all between anything I've struggled with and what so many people deal with daily.
I cannot speak for God in saying why these things happen, why He created someone a certain way, or "let" these things happen. I'm not God. I'm not all-knowing. But I believe through study and prayer I can try to understand His way and what the Truth and Right is.
In MY opinion (I do not speak for the Church or any other members), I believe we are sent here to this life to overcome trials and obstacles. Through this process we learn, we grow and we ultimately strive to return to live with our Heavenly Father after we've proven we are worthy. Maybe you roll your eyes when I say this, but maybe Bruce/Caitlyn's trial in this life was to overcome those feelings. To embrace God and His plan for Bruce/Caitlyn's life and find happiness in the only way possible: through Christ, His Atonement and obedience.
I know, how dare I say something so insensitive? But I believe so many people (straight, gay, trans, whatever) seek for "happiness" in this life in such worldly ways: drinking, sex, lying, money, food, whatever floats your boat. But we were sent here to be obedient to God's commandments, follow Christ's example and return to Heavenly Father someday. What if instead of paying money and altering the body and soul God gave you, you instead turned to Christ who suffered in a garden and on the cross and FELT every single thing you deal with every day, and let that healing act wash over you and help you accept the cross you've been asked to bear in this life? Why? Why do you have that cross? I don't know. Why are some born disabled, why are some born with mental disorders? I don't know. I don't think trading in happiness in the next life is worth the temporary happiness you'll feel here, however "long" this life may feel. It's tiny in the vastness of the eternity you're trading.
I hope I am not mistaken for judging. I agree that God and Christ are the only ones capable of judging. I make no assumption at knowing what God thinks, says or will do when Bruce/Caitlyn passes through this life into the next. Honestly, I think they'll both be there with arms WIDE open, with love, compassion and caring. Just as we should be. Loving. Compassionate. Caring. But that doesn't mean there won't be consequences for his actions that he will have to face when he comes to stand before his maker.
A friend had a perfect quote when she expressed her views (and she did it SO well, so read her blog post if you want a better articulated presentation of my feelings) when she said: The fact that most people believe giving in is the only way to true happiness in this life just goes to show how much we’ve lost the concept of faith. (Her amazing blog!)
Where is the faith that once we make it through the trial in this life, we will be rewarded in the next? That faith that God is there to reassure, to help, aid, guide? The same faith we exercise when we turn to our Savior for comfort and support in our trials?
Just as an alcoholic must wake up everyday and look in the mirror and say No, today I will not drink. Unfortunately, you may have to wake up everyday and look in the mirror at a body that feels wrong and say God I trust you, I know you have a greater plan for me, help me get through today as the man/woman you made me to be.
I do not wish to judge. I do NOT wish to bully. My heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with this daily. I can't even imagine how hard it is to get out of bed each morning feeling alien in your own body.
And lastly, I found this beautiful testimony of a transgender person who instead of changing his body God gave him, sought help through Christ and was able to live a full life, married, with a child, and have happiness. His testimony is what really struck me and I hope you've made it this far and will go just a little further and read his words.
"I also suffer from GID [gender identity disorder]. As I child who did not grow up in the Church, I remember praying to God wishing that He would transform me so that I could stop feeling wrong and live my life the way I felt it was supposed to be. He did transform me, but not in the way that I expected. At the age of 17, I was baptized as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This put me on a difficult path but on a path that was more than worth it. After graduating high school, I moved out West and attended BYU-Idaho before going on a mission. My mission was very hard for me; it was not what I expected it would be. However, my experiences, though difficult, helped change my life. After my mission, I married a wonderful young woman (who is taller than me and knows about my problems) and we just had our first baby boy. Throughout my whole life and up to this point, I have suffered from GID, but I have not let that change my life or who I am. I am a son of God, sealed to an amazing woman, father of an angelic child, and He has a plan for me. I know that because I have tried to live the commandments of the Lord, our Heavenly Father has blessed me with strength that is not my own. My internal problems have not vanished; nor do they feel bottled up deep inside. I feel that I have become at peace with my feelings. I imagine that my feelings are locked up in a cage deep inside me; she, not at peace, might rattle a cup against the bars from time to time or even scream bloody murder (which makes it harder to ignore), but that does not mean I need to open the cage and let those feelings out. Many of us with these feelings tend to believe that no one else knows what it is like to suffer this way. That is a mistake. While our problem may not come from our own personal actions or the problems of others may not be as life-changing, I believe it is insulting to degrade the inner feelings of others by saying that ours is a harder lot. I have seen good people struggle on problems that would seem infantile to others, yet I know that what they are feeling is just as real and just as painful. We cannot let our temptations lead us down the easy path away from our Heavenly Father. Although the path is hard and I cannot live the way that I would wish, I know that the path that Heavenly Father has chosen for me is a better one. Already I have experienced and grown a hundred times more than if I had chosen to follow those feelings. Every day for the rest of my life I will have to wake up and look at the small, effeminate body I was given in the mirror and prepare for the fight of that day. I cannot wait to wake up in the morning and take on that challenge. We, as a people, have so much to gain from taking the hard path. Our lot is a hard one, but that just means that when we overcome it, we will be that much stronger. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that there are many General and Auxiliary Authorities who suffer from our temptations; it would have to take a challenge of that magnitude to produce such strong men and women of faith. Finally, I would hope members would not make excuses for us. Yes, we need all of the love and support you can offer us; that is not the problem I speak of. There are other members who are praised by the world for their “open-minded-ness.” I have been given excuses from this people my whole life. “You’re just a new convert,” they would say, “You don’t have to serve a mission, that does not apply to you. That would be too hard.” If I had listened to that, I would have never grown, met my wife, had my child; I would have had none of that. We cannot listen to the easy words of members who tell us that we can live our lives the way we want that that everything will be okay. That will just rob us of the blessings that our Father is waiting to bestow upon us. Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us, but He also has a Plan for the whole human race. I applaud members of the Church who suffer from GID or same sex attraction who still enter the Temple and are sealed for eternity with their spouses, have children and who choose the plan God has for them and not follow the temptations or selfish thoughts that plague them and us each day. We need to have them as our examples so that we may follow the hard path and know that it might not get easier, but it sure as hell will get better. Not just better, but the best our lives could ever be.
~ Nate"
I hope I have made an appropriate stance. I have to be bold. I have to declare what I know is true. In this world of corroding morals and values, I can't expect to teach my children right and wrong if I'm afraid to open my mouth on these issues. I love ALL of you. All shapes, sizes, sexual orientations, religions, beliefs etc etc. This truly comes from a place of love. Please ask questions, ask to clarify. Please be respectful. Please be patient with my shortcomings.
In the end, I'm Haley. And I'm a Mormon.
Want more information on my beliefs, church, or anything else?
http://www.mormon.org
https://www.lds.org
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Lesson(s) learned?
Oh the things that have happened the last 4 months since I updated. Its been too long. Sorry. I don't even know what's been going on. But I needed to get on here and vent. Or whatever the positive version of this is.
Twice in two months I've had expensive things taken from my car. I'm partly at fault, since the first time I would bet $1 million that my car was locked, last night it wasn't. But really.. the year and a half we've lived here and NOW someone is being a jerk and taking things, consistently. I digress.
So, since the first time when my beautiful DSLR camera, lenses, memory cards, bag, etc were all stolen, I tried to be forgiving to the evil thief that felt the need to take it. And felt like I did. Mostly because my husband caved and bought me a new one, and yeah. It sucks. But, whatever.
Now this one. Seriously? My wallet, my empty of cash or anything valuable wallet. Cards, yes. Cancelled cards now, yes. My ID, which I'll have to replace for the 5th time (I'm serious). Annnd thats all that MIGHT have been valuable. Chris' brand new iPhone 6 that was damaged and in a fed ex box ready to ship to Apple. $750 phone. In an unmarked box. What. The. Heck. And then my tablet. My nexus tablet I wasn't even happy to get, but I've loved it. I find myself looking for it now. Ugh. Dependence. $1000 worth of stuff was taken. Again. AGAIN.
Really?
I try to be optimistic. I try to realize I can learn something. Why did this happen? Again? Why, why, why? My brain comes back to learning to lock my car. HEY Haley ! Lock YOUR freaking CAR ! But really? That's my take-away. That's what God wants me to learn? Really?
Then maybe it's so these lowlifes have their agency and choices to make bad decisions they'll be judged for later. So, how can bad people be bad if they don't have a way to be bad. Ugh. Pick someone else. Pick another car to steal from that hasn't had to deal with it yet.
Or am I too distracted by electronics & materialistic things? Is this another material thing disappearing to see how I respond to "things" being taken? Is that it?
I was reading an article tonight that was about bad things happening to good people. And obviously that article can apply to WAY worse things good people deal with, abuse, health issues, death, murder, accidents, fires, etc etc. Some things that I've had to deal with in life have been way worse than having things taken. But really, that doesn't diminish what we're dealing with. It's only compounded by all this other crap going on too.
But one of the "reasons" the article said was "to prove we can let go, and let God."
I'm not sure if I'm losing sleep about this. Probably because it hasn't even been 24 hours. I can tell you, I do have to make myself eat. This just adds another thing on the list of things I'm already stressed about. Now it's what if, what else can these bad people do? What are the chances it would happen to me twice, what are the chances something worse will happen? That's a great way to think. And that's why the paragraph above made such an impact on me. Turn it over. I need to check my faith. I need to count the blessings, instead of count the ways things can (and probably will) go wrong. And to the point. I, for me, not you, need to make a list and SEE what else could have gone wrong or still can, but didn't. I need to count my blessings.
My car could have been broken/damaged in some way. It was luckily just trashed.
My house was unlocked. Oh the possibilities.
My family was safe, IS safe.
My camera was NOT left in the car. That thing follows me like a shadow (see I am learning!)
I don't carry cash in my wallet. Zero. Zip. My photoshoot money was.. in my pocket.
They didn't rip out my radio/head unit. (Material I know but a pain to replace or not have)
They cleaned out my purse for me. (except I put it all right back)
I still have my phone (sorry chris)
He still has his iPad.
I'm pretty sure that little voice that said "get your purse, get the iphone box, get your tablet" wasn't idle silly thoughts. LISTEN to those. (Is that the take-away?)
I do have an extra license floating around my house somewhere..
I get to buy a new wallet that I like and isn't stupid and cheap.
I get to get ANOTHER Temple Recommend. Maybe I need a refresher, 3rd times the charm in such a short time right?
Maybe I need to relax on the connected-ness of my life.
Maybe I should print this and over the course of the next days, weeks, whatever, look over it and remind myself what could have happened. What I need to remember. What I need to be thankful for. Maybe that's the take-away.
Twice in two months I've had expensive things taken from my car. I'm partly at fault, since the first time I would bet $1 million that my car was locked, last night it wasn't. But really.. the year and a half we've lived here and NOW someone is being a jerk and taking things, consistently. I digress.
So, since the first time when my beautiful DSLR camera, lenses, memory cards, bag, etc were all stolen, I tried to be forgiving to the evil thief that felt the need to take it. And felt like I did. Mostly because my husband caved and bought me a new one, and yeah. It sucks. But, whatever.
Now this one. Seriously? My wallet, my empty of cash or anything valuable wallet. Cards, yes. Cancelled cards now, yes. My ID, which I'll have to replace for the 5th time (I'm serious). Annnd thats all that MIGHT have been valuable. Chris' brand new iPhone 6 that was damaged and in a fed ex box ready to ship to Apple. $750 phone. In an unmarked box. What. The. Heck. And then my tablet. My nexus tablet I wasn't even happy to get, but I've loved it. I find myself looking for it now. Ugh. Dependence. $1000 worth of stuff was taken. Again. AGAIN.
Really?
I try to be optimistic. I try to realize I can learn something. Why did this happen? Again? Why, why, why? My brain comes back to learning to lock my car. HEY Haley ! Lock YOUR freaking CAR ! But really? That's my take-away. That's what God wants me to learn? Really?
Then maybe it's so these lowlifes have their agency and choices to make bad decisions they'll be judged for later. So, how can bad people be bad if they don't have a way to be bad. Ugh. Pick someone else. Pick another car to steal from that hasn't had to deal with it yet.
Or am I too distracted by electronics & materialistic things? Is this another material thing disappearing to see how I respond to "things" being taken? Is that it?
I was reading an article tonight that was about bad things happening to good people. And obviously that article can apply to WAY worse things good people deal with, abuse, health issues, death, murder, accidents, fires, etc etc. Some things that I've had to deal with in life have been way worse than having things taken. But really, that doesn't diminish what we're dealing with. It's only compounded by all this other crap going on too.
But one of the "reasons" the article said was "to prove we can let go, and let God."
"When we are blessed with trials, sometimes they affect our lives with an inability to eat properly or sleep soundly. That is the time to pray and turn it over to him. Ask him to take over just for the night, allow you to get a solid night's sleep, and then assure him that you will take back over in the morning and sort things out."
I'm not sure if I'm losing sleep about this. Probably because it hasn't even been 24 hours. I can tell you, I do have to make myself eat. This just adds another thing on the list of things I'm already stressed about. Now it's what if, what else can these bad people do? What are the chances it would happen to me twice, what are the chances something worse will happen? That's a great way to think. And that's why the paragraph above made such an impact on me. Turn it over. I need to check my faith. I need to count the blessings, instead of count the ways things can (and probably will) go wrong. And to the point. I, for me, not you, need to make a list and SEE what else could have gone wrong or still can, but didn't. I need to count my blessings.
My car could have been broken/damaged in some way. It was luckily just trashed.
My house was unlocked. Oh the possibilities.
My family was safe, IS safe.
My camera was NOT left in the car. That thing follows me like a shadow (see I am learning!)
I don't carry cash in my wallet. Zero. Zip. My photoshoot money was.. in my pocket.
They didn't rip out my radio/head unit. (Material I know but a pain to replace or not have)
They cleaned out my purse for me. (except I put it all right back)
I still have my phone (sorry chris)
He still has his iPad.
I'm pretty sure that little voice that said "get your purse, get the iphone box, get your tablet" wasn't idle silly thoughts. LISTEN to those. (Is that the take-away?)
I do have an extra license floating around my house somewhere..
I get to buy a new wallet that I like and isn't stupid and cheap.
I get to get ANOTHER Temple Recommend. Maybe I need a refresher, 3rd times the charm in such a short time right?
Maybe I need to relax on the connected-ness of my life.
Maybe I should print this and over the course of the next days, weeks, whatever, look over it and remind myself what could have happened. What I need to remember. What I need to be thankful for. Maybe that's the take-away.
Monday, June 23, 2014
Is anyone there?
Hello world. I know, I know. You've missed me. What the heck ! It's been forever. I guess you could say life got busy. But that's a little of an understatement. Life has been insane ! Ridiculous, whatever you want to say.
Ever since Chris left, its been one thing after the next and just so much to do and only one me to do it! Logan obviously keeps me busy anyways, but having to juggle him, work, home, errands, calling, any type of social life, AH. I sing your praises all you single working moms who do this ALL. THE. TIME. ::bowing to the floor:: "I am not worthy!" You're awesome.
Logan and I have had 3 plane trips the last 2 months (less than!?). 13 flights (from take off to landing). I need to add up the miles. He really is the best traveler. So good. Even if he's a little fussy, he's not the crying kid for 3 hours. He lets me throw him in his stroller and run across the airport. Speaking of that, don't fly into Atlanta. I officially hate that airport, and the people hate me. Or at least aren't personable and don't care if I say anything. Rude.
Ok, so first off. We've adjusted ok to Chris being gone. Logan has the best baby sitter who just jumps right in and takes care of him. We love Abby. And work is work. Same old. Still having stupid hiccups in cells growing, as usual, but nothing earth shattering. We did get published again. Woot!
We went to Utah for my moms wedding. That was a roller coaster of a week. It was really great to be around family, and see everyone, and mostly everyone to see Logan. I love the traditions we have with my mom's side of the family and I really want for my kids to experience those. So it's a huge blessing to be able to go out. Not sure how much more we're going to be able to seeing as tickets are ridiculous and he will start needing his own next year. But we got to run around and see friends, and SLC, and temples and eat yummy food. I was able to go to the new Brigham City Temple and recharge, and even church on Sunday gave me a little boost. Life gets tough sometimes, and especially when I'm out of my environment. But I survived. It was a good trip.
Came home, back to work for a week, a whole week ! And then we were off again to go see Chris. I had to get down to see him. It had been a month. I was going crazy. I decided it would be cute to be down there over Father's Day. The trip was good, in the idea that I got to see Chris, and spend a little bit of time with him, but with him working, and weird hours, and then even Tuesday when he took off of work, we didn't do anything, but sleep, and lounge, which is nice. It's nice to just have him there next to me. But I wish it was longer, I wish we could have spent more time together. Logan was just warming up to him after the first 2 days, and then we left 2 days later. Poor kid. Chris had a blast watching him though. I guess he does all kinds of crazy things now, which I don't realize when they started so they aren't new to me. But he loves it. He really is such a fun kid, and so funny. Makes me laugh all the time.
And then we're here now. Just more work. Busy getting stuff planned and re planned and unplanned for Madison. She gets home today and it so exciting! A year and half went by SO fast. It's mind boggling. But she'll be here tonight. And then starts the whirlwind of three weeks until the wedding. I'm excited about doing their pictures. I think they're going to be really cute and fun to capture. I feel like couples would be anyways because they're so in love, and these two are cute and goofy and just SO excited to be back together. I'm excited for them. It's all going to come together, and whatever doesn't, doesn't matter. What matters are two people, who have served the Lord for 2 years, and remained worthy to go to the Temple and be sealed for eternity. Nothing else matters. I hope everyone remembers that.
So work. Normal life. Youth stuff. Which just seems to keep getting worse. One day we'll have a break. I just keep thinking every diligent thing is another drop in my lamp of preparation, another lesson, another activity, another drop. Blessing in Heaven. Motivation. Just keeping busy until the NEXT trip in 3 weeks, nope 2 1/2 weeks. UGH. Luckily this one is driving, which I don't know if that's better or worse. Whatever. DC, NJ, NY. Woo. Weddings. Sealings. Beach. Friends. So excited. So proud.
OH and ya know, somewhere in the mix Chris and I reached 4 years. Happy anniversary to us. June 11. Good times. We didn't do anything obviously. His mom dropped off flowers for me because Chris is too sweet. I went and flew to see him, so he can just be happy with that ! But, now I guess I gotta update the banner for the blog again. Now we're 4 years down, eternity to go. Weird. Had this blog for three years. Fun fun !
Ever since Chris left, its been one thing after the next and just so much to do and only one me to do it! Logan obviously keeps me busy anyways, but having to juggle him, work, home, errands, calling, any type of social life, AH. I sing your praises all you single working moms who do this ALL. THE. TIME. ::bowing to the floor:: "I am not worthy!" You're awesome.
Logan and I have had 3 plane trips the last 2 months (less than!?). 13 flights (from take off to landing). I need to add up the miles. He really is the best traveler. So good. Even if he's a little fussy, he's not the crying kid for 3 hours. He lets me throw him in his stroller and run across the airport. Speaking of that, don't fly into Atlanta. I officially hate that airport, and the people hate me. Or at least aren't personable and don't care if I say anything. Rude.
Ok, so first off. We've adjusted ok to Chris being gone. Logan has the best baby sitter who just jumps right in and takes care of him. We love Abby. And work is work. Same old. Still having stupid hiccups in cells growing, as usual, but nothing earth shattering. We did get published again. Woot!
We went to Utah for my moms wedding. That was a roller coaster of a week. It was really great to be around family, and see everyone, and mostly everyone to see Logan. I love the traditions we have with my mom's side of the family and I really want for my kids to experience those. So it's a huge blessing to be able to go out. Not sure how much more we're going to be able to seeing as tickets are ridiculous and he will start needing his own next year. But we got to run around and see friends, and SLC, and temples and eat yummy food. I was able to go to the new Brigham City Temple and recharge, and even church on Sunday gave me a little boost. Life gets tough sometimes, and especially when I'm out of my environment. But I survived. It was a good trip.
Came home, back to work for a week, a whole week ! And then we were off again to go see Chris. I had to get down to see him. It had been a month. I was going crazy. I decided it would be cute to be down there over Father's Day. The trip was good, in the idea that I got to see Chris, and spend a little bit of time with him, but with him working, and weird hours, and then even Tuesday when he took off of work, we didn't do anything, but sleep, and lounge, which is nice. It's nice to just have him there next to me. But I wish it was longer, I wish we could have spent more time together. Logan was just warming up to him after the first 2 days, and then we left 2 days later. Poor kid. Chris had a blast watching him though. I guess he does all kinds of crazy things now, which I don't realize when they started so they aren't new to me. But he loves it. He really is such a fun kid, and so funny. Makes me laugh all the time.
And then we're here now. Just more work. Busy getting stuff planned and re planned and unplanned for Madison. She gets home today and it so exciting! A year and half went by SO fast. It's mind boggling. But she'll be here tonight. And then starts the whirlwind of three weeks until the wedding. I'm excited about doing their pictures. I think they're going to be really cute and fun to capture. I feel like couples would be anyways because they're so in love, and these two are cute and goofy and just SO excited to be back together. I'm excited for them. It's all going to come together, and whatever doesn't, doesn't matter. What matters are two people, who have served the Lord for 2 years, and remained worthy to go to the Temple and be sealed for eternity. Nothing else matters. I hope everyone remembers that.
So work. Normal life. Youth stuff. Which just seems to keep getting worse. One day we'll have a break. I just keep thinking every diligent thing is another drop in my lamp of preparation, another lesson, another activity, another drop. Blessing in Heaven. Motivation. Just keeping busy until the NEXT trip in 3 weeks, nope 2 1/2 weeks. UGH. Luckily this one is driving, which I don't know if that's better or worse. Whatever. DC, NJ, NY. Woo. Weddings. Sealings. Beach. Friends. So excited. So proud.
OH and ya know, somewhere in the mix Chris and I reached 4 years. Happy anniversary to us. June 11. Good times. We didn't do anything obviously. His mom dropped off flowers for me because Chris is too sweet. I went and flew to see him, so he can just be happy with that ! But, now I guess I gotta update the banner for the blog again. Now we're 4 years down, eternity to go. Weird. Had this blog for three years. Fun fun !
Thursday, May 15, 2014
"And it will surprise you what the Lord has done."
It's been a while since I've posted. This last... month and a half have been super busy and chaotic and every time I think I'm at the end of it, I'm clearly not. So apologies my avid readers ;]
I had this next post all planned out in my head, and i was going to rattle off all the insane things that have been going on, that have been happening to me and around me, all the busy-ness (business, busy-ness, interesting). And mostly in my head it would be "oh poor Haley, look at all this she's had to deal with, poor her, waaaah" and that's not what I want. So instead, last night another post popped into my head. I'm going to go through the same insane activities and occurances but list the blessings. List the happy things.
April consisted of SO many church activities. SO many. But looking back at my calendar, all in one week, I learned a wonderful lesson on Easter at enrichment. I got to hear a different perspective to the same story. I also go to share with the young women at their meeting Wednesday night, Mutual, some of that same activity, but also my deep testimony of the Atonement and how much the Savior's life and death mean to me personally. It's been a while. It was nice to see that in check.
We also had Stake Conference with an Area Seventy (a higher up position, it's almost like a celebrity has come to church, well and LDS one at least) and he was wonderful. I got to share my testimony again through song accompanying the incredible Robert Harrison.
"He lives! All glory to his name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:
'I know that my Redeemer lives!'"
Then baby showers. I love seeing the women come together to shower someone with love. We love babies. We love that renewal of life, that chance to have something straight from Heaven, the pure, the innocent. I bet Heaven's like that. We need to be good and get there.
We also had a Temple Fireside for the youth I planned. It was hectic. People didn't show up. People didn't tell me they weren't showing up. But it all worked out. I thought it went wonderfully. The spirit was incredible. The youth were able to listen to "stories" from people through recent history and who were waiting for their temple work to be done. And the youth were able to participate in their saving ordinances by having done their temple work with the card they were handed out. I might post more details of this later. But it was really great. So many people stepped up to help me in a ward where I'm getting tired of the lack of participation. Thank you for proving me wrong and helping bear testimony to our youth of the importance of find their ancestors and taking their names to the Temple !
Then came preparing a talk. For Easter. Bring out the big guns. AH! I'm too little to have that pressure. As the closing speaker. AH. And musical numbers we have to get together. It was a little crazy. I got to speak after Sis. Shehl and she's incredible. I almost wanted to say ditto, amen. And sit down. But I was challenged in finding a different way to present the Easter story. I didn't want it to be the same "He died, three days passed, He rose" thing we hear every year. But I was able to read a LOT about the culture, and trial, the manipulation and I gained such a deep appreciation for all our Savior suffered. Not just the obvious in the Garden and on the Cross. There was so much that went into those last few days of His life. Go study. It's incredible. And studying what the Apostles and Prophets have said concerned the resurrection and Christ's death, and life. Their amazing testimonies. I could have read those for days !
Then another youth activity I planned. A service scavenger hunt. And it was hard to find homes willing to allow a bunch of rowdy youth to come "clean" and do service. But we had more than enough service opportunities. And they had fun. I heard all laughing and stories when they got back. I'm glad they had a chance to help members in our area.
I then had the work trip to San Diego. Awesome. Long. Tiring. But it was beautiful. It was so fun to spend time with family and have a blast with them. I miss them all the time. And especially to attend church if even for 15 mins to take Sacrament in a Spanish branch. That was such a sweet experience to me. Not really knowing what people were saying but a few words here and there, but knowing that same Spirit. Such tender mercies. Logan is such an incredible traveler too. He really is the best kid ever.
Then we had his birthday, which I had to scramble to get done. But even though I was finishing stuff as people were showing up, and I didn't get to shower, we felt of the love of so many that came and adore my little boy. We're so spoiled to have so many close family and friends to love and squeeze him. He doesn't know how lucky he has it. It was the cutest party, if I say so myself. And once again, so grateful for so many who came over and helped out. It would not have happened.
Then Chris graduated. So happy that's over. I'm so excited to move forward to our next step. I'm so grateful for how hard he worked and was able to finish in 4 years with 2 minors. He's a rockstar. With graduation though came him leaving as well. It was the hardest to say goodbye, and watch him say goodbye to Logan who has no idea what's going on. But we've prayed a lot and asking for protection and I know we will be. I know everything will be ok. Given that..
Logan had a seizure Thursday night after Chris' graduation party. Most likely was febrile from a fever he had from shots the day before, even though I don't think he had a fever and at the ER in triage he was only comin up at 100.5 but what do I know... I did't go to med school or anything type of doctor/nurse school. But that was heart wrenching. And the incredible blessing from that scary (the scariest) moment was our family coming together. Chris and I talked a lot about our testimony and faith, the covenants we made in the Temple that include Logan. We are sealed for time and ALL eternity. No matter what happens to us in this life. Even if for any horrible reason, Logan is ripped from us, it's only for a moment and I will get my little boy again. And it really made us stop and think what's important and what we're spending time on. I love my family. I'm so thankful for the Temple, for the sealing I had there, and the power of the Priesthood that has been restored and makes it all possible. Families ARE forever.
And then right before Chris took off, I apparently had an ovarian cyst rupture. Oh goodie. We had no idea what it was at first. I would have swore I was having a 20min contraction. And then the next day or two I was so sore all over my abdomen, and bloated and in pain. Finally got an ultrasound at my OB and then sent me to Cabell for a CT to rule out appendicitis. Really? 48hrs after Chris leaves and surgery is on the table? Awesome. Luckily the CT ruled out appendicitis and the fluid seen on the ultrasound was blood and explains the bloated soreness. And it was just a cyst that ruptured. So no surgery. Just pain. And time to reabsorb the fluid and antibiotics so I don't die. From this I'm so thankful I don't have to have surgery. How easily it could have been so much worse. Without my husband. And again how grateful I am for so many who stepped up and offered help, who just stopped by. The wonderful Priesthood holders we have close to give me and my crying baby a blessing while Chris is away. Poor Logan has had a fever for a few days and been forced to take Advil and Tylenol, which he hates. But I'm so afraid of another seizure. But, thank goodness, I discovered to little molars poking through the back of his mouth. Now I know why he's miserable; it's not some unknown disease that will give him fevers and seizures and there's no way to fix it.
I can't even list all the blessings we've been given these last few weeks. Even at some points the only blessings are peace and comfort, but oh how those can mean more than mountains of money, or whatever things you think you need.
I'm so thankful for my Savior. For all the went through and suffered so I can go to Him in times like now, when I feel alone, and hurting, and need comfort. And He comes through. In the Book of Mormon, in Alma chapter 7, verse 11 it says: And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
I know this to be true. All I've been going through, the good and the bad, has been to learn more about Him, about me, about His ways, about this amazing Gospel.
Even in the midst of trial I can finally say just as Paul did: I am filled with comfort, I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation [2 Cor 7:4].
So before you (or maybe it's just me) start to list out your trials and tribulations and seek comfort from those around you in pity and sympathy, instead count your blessings, and receive the only comfort that is true and real. I listened to this hymn this morning and it's helped pick me up today. Go enjoy a listen :] Count Your Blessings. You won't be sorry.
I had this next post all planned out in my head, and i was going to rattle off all the insane things that have been going on, that have been happening to me and around me, all the busy-ness (business, busy-ness, interesting). And mostly in my head it would be "oh poor Haley, look at all this she's had to deal with, poor her, waaaah" and that's not what I want. So instead, last night another post popped into my head. I'm going to go through the same insane activities and occurances but list the blessings. List the happy things.
April consisted of SO many church activities. SO many. But looking back at my calendar, all in one week, I learned a wonderful lesson on Easter at enrichment. I got to hear a different perspective to the same story. I also go to share with the young women at their meeting Wednesday night, Mutual, some of that same activity, but also my deep testimony of the Atonement and how much the Savior's life and death mean to me personally. It's been a while. It was nice to see that in check.
We also had Stake Conference with an Area Seventy (a higher up position, it's almost like a celebrity has come to church, well and LDS one at least) and he was wonderful. I got to share my testimony again through song accompanying the incredible Robert Harrison.
"He lives! All glory to his name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:
'I know that my Redeemer lives!'"
Then baby showers. I love seeing the women come together to shower someone with love. We love babies. We love that renewal of life, that chance to have something straight from Heaven, the pure, the innocent. I bet Heaven's like that. We need to be good and get there.
We also had a Temple Fireside for the youth I planned. It was hectic. People didn't show up. People didn't tell me they weren't showing up. But it all worked out. I thought it went wonderfully. The spirit was incredible. The youth were able to listen to "stories" from people through recent history and who were waiting for their temple work to be done. And the youth were able to participate in their saving ordinances by having done their temple work with the card they were handed out. I might post more details of this later. But it was really great. So many people stepped up to help me in a ward where I'm getting tired of the lack of participation. Thank you for proving me wrong and helping bear testimony to our youth of the importance of find their ancestors and taking their names to the Temple !
Then came preparing a talk. For Easter. Bring out the big guns. AH! I'm too little to have that pressure. As the closing speaker. AH. And musical numbers we have to get together. It was a little crazy. I got to speak after Sis. Shehl and she's incredible. I almost wanted to say ditto, amen. And sit down. But I was challenged in finding a different way to present the Easter story. I didn't want it to be the same "He died, three days passed, He rose" thing we hear every year. But I was able to read a LOT about the culture, and trial, the manipulation and I gained such a deep appreciation for all our Savior suffered. Not just the obvious in the Garden and on the Cross. There was so much that went into those last few days of His life. Go study. It's incredible. And studying what the Apostles and Prophets have said concerned the resurrection and Christ's death, and life. Their amazing testimonies. I could have read those for days !
Then another youth activity I planned. A service scavenger hunt. And it was hard to find homes willing to allow a bunch of rowdy youth to come "clean" and do service. But we had more than enough service opportunities. And they had fun. I heard all laughing and stories when they got back. I'm glad they had a chance to help members in our area.
I then had the work trip to San Diego. Awesome. Long. Tiring. But it was beautiful. It was so fun to spend time with family and have a blast with them. I miss them all the time. And especially to attend church if even for 15 mins to take Sacrament in a Spanish branch. That was such a sweet experience to me. Not really knowing what people were saying but a few words here and there, but knowing that same Spirit. Such tender mercies. Logan is such an incredible traveler too. He really is the best kid ever.
Then we had his birthday, which I had to scramble to get done. But even though I was finishing stuff as people were showing up, and I didn't get to shower, we felt of the love of so many that came and adore my little boy. We're so spoiled to have so many close family and friends to love and squeeze him. He doesn't know how lucky he has it. It was the cutest party, if I say so myself. And once again, so grateful for so many who came over and helped out. It would not have happened.
Then Chris graduated. So happy that's over. I'm so excited to move forward to our next step. I'm so grateful for how hard he worked and was able to finish in 4 years with 2 minors. He's a rockstar. With graduation though came him leaving as well. It was the hardest to say goodbye, and watch him say goodbye to Logan who has no idea what's going on. But we've prayed a lot and asking for protection and I know we will be. I know everything will be ok. Given that..
Logan had a seizure Thursday night after Chris' graduation party. Most likely was febrile from a fever he had from shots the day before, even though I don't think he had a fever and at the ER in triage he was only comin up at 100.5 but what do I know... I did't go to med school or anything type of doctor/nurse school. But that was heart wrenching. And the incredible blessing from that scary (the scariest) moment was our family coming together. Chris and I talked a lot about our testimony and faith, the covenants we made in the Temple that include Logan. We are sealed for time and ALL eternity. No matter what happens to us in this life. Even if for any horrible reason, Logan is ripped from us, it's only for a moment and I will get my little boy again. And it really made us stop and think what's important and what we're spending time on. I love my family. I'm so thankful for the Temple, for the sealing I had there, and the power of the Priesthood that has been restored and makes it all possible. Families ARE forever.
And then right before Chris took off, I apparently had an ovarian cyst rupture. Oh goodie. We had no idea what it was at first. I would have swore I was having a 20min contraction. And then the next day or two I was so sore all over my abdomen, and bloated and in pain. Finally got an ultrasound at my OB and then sent me to Cabell for a CT to rule out appendicitis. Really? 48hrs after Chris leaves and surgery is on the table? Awesome. Luckily the CT ruled out appendicitis and the fluid seen on the ultrasound was blood and explains the bloated soreness. And it was just a cyst that ruptured. So no surgery. Just pain. And time to reabsorb the fluid and antibiotics so I don't die. From this I'm so thankful I don't have to have surgery. How easily it could have been so much worse. Without my husband. And again how grateful I am for so many who stepped up and offered help, who just stopped by. The wonderful Priesthood holders we have close to give me and my crying baby a blessing while Chris is away. Poor Logan has had a fever for a few days and been forced to take Advil and Tylenol, which he hates. But I'm so afraid of another seizure. But, thank goodness, I discovered to little molars poking through the back of his mouth. Now I know why he's miserable; it's not some unknown disease that will give him fevers and seizures and there's no way to fix it.
I can't even list all the blessings we've been given these last few weeks. Even at some points the only blessings are peace and comfort, but oh how those can mean more than mountains of money, or whatever things you think you need.
I'm so thankful for my Savior. For all the went through and suffered so I can go to Him in times like now, when I feel alone, and hurting, and need comfort. And He comes through. In the Book of Mormon, in Alma chapter 7, verse 11 it says: And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
I know this to be true. All I've been going through, the good and the bad, has been to learn more about Him, about me, about His ways, about this amazing Gospel.
Even in the midst of trial I can finally say just as Paul did: I am filled with comfort, I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation [2 Cor 7:4].
So before you (or maybe it's just me) start to list out your trials and tribulations and seek comfort from those around you in pity and sympathy, instead count your blessings, and receive the only comfort that is true and real. I listened to this hymn this morning and it's helped pick me up today. Go enjoy a listen :] Count Your Blessings. You won't be sorry.
Friday, March 21, 2014
Hello Spring... I hope
So a month flew by. No joke. Where did it go? How is it almost the end of March ! ah ! I'm too busy for my own good.
I'm sure not much has been going on and that's why I haven't updated. Or that's what I tell myself.
Chris only has like 4 or 5 weeks of actual class left. What !! So excited. He went and had to register for graduation, and sign up for all this weird stuff, and got his tassel. It was fun. SO excited. Except I'm not because he's probably leaving me the day after graduation to go to Arkansas for work. COOL. (sarcasm, in case you don't get that) But there's a LOT of money potential. And... yeah that's all the positives I can give you. Money. So we'll pretty much pay off debt and then some, in the perfect scenario. But I won't have a husband for 3 months. I'll be a single mom. A single working mom. Ugh. Shoot me now. I think we have Logan's daycare sorta taken care of, possibly. And that was my biggest concern. Especially since it was going to be at least $2500. So yay for that problem gone. Other than that there are just negatives. He may or may not make it to Maddies wedding. Which sucks. He is probably not going to come to Utah. No, he's not coming. No probably. Not coming to San Diego. Not going to be here in general, anniversaries, birthdays. Luckily he'll be here for Logans, or I'll kill him.
Logan time. Happy time. He hasn't been sleeping super well. Yay for me. ie last night he went to bed at 930, up at 11 but right back down. Up at 1230, fed and back down. Up screaming at 130... and we're up. Screaming. Finally i lay in our bed with him listening to lullaby music and at some point before 230 he fell back asleep, sideways. And we tossed and turned all night. Joy. And every day has been insanely busy and I'm tired. But do I get a break? or a nap? nah... moms don't do that right? Other than sleep, he's adorable. Growing so fast. He's so close to walking. He'll reach for something and be a step away and start to step but panic and just fall log a chopped down tree into the couch, or us or whatever he was going for. So close to taking steps. And he looooves screaming. Anytime he's excited, high pitched ears bleeding screams. So funny. He LOVES water. LOVES LOVES LOVES. Anytime a faucet is on, he comes crawling and screaming. He has to play in it. Can't just watch it. He's started to try and climb over the edge of the tub, lifts his fat little leg, not quite high enough thank goodness. And he just plays and plays in the tub. Flops around, splashes, belly to back, and falling all over. He's such a fun kid. Just not last night.
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We bought a fancy DSLR camera with some of our tax money. Ugh. So much money. We've talked about one for years. And finally caved. Because we keep talking about it. We really do want to use it and get good. And I know it's a thing right now, but it's been a thing I've wanted to do since high school, but I'd love to have a little thing on the side and do family shoots, seniors, babies, engagements. I'm too scared to ever say weddings. But maybe one day when we're good enough :] We've just messed around with taking Logan's pics and two senior ones. And for every 20 shots I think there's one perfect one. Not bad. For beginner with no training. Just reading online and getting out there. Hopefully one day it will be for every 20 shots there's only one bad one !
And that's my life right now. Work is always the same. Getting excited for our conference in San Diego next month ! Summer will be interesting. At least I have Utah at the end of May (my mom's getting married! Yay!!) And then a little loop through the east coast from DC to NJ to NY back here. Weddings. Two. In a row. Fun fun ! And then getting my husband back. So far I have nothing going on in June, if anyone has anything they want me to come to lemme know !
I'll write more later when its not 11:54am and I'm starving. Toodles !
I'm sure not much has been going on and that's why I haven't updated. Or that's what I tell myself.
Chris only has like 4 or 5 weeks of actual class left. What !! So excited. He went and had to register for graduation, and sign up for all this weird stuff, and got his tassel. It was fun. SO excited. Except I'm not because he's probably leaving me the day after graduation to go to Arkansas for work. COOL. (sarcasm, in case you don't get that) But there's a LOT of money potential. And... yeah that's all the positives I can give you. Money. So we'll pretty much pay off debt and then some, in the perfect scenario. But I won't have a husband for 3 months. I'll be a single mom. A single working mom. Ugh. Shoot me now. I think we have Logan's daycare sorta taken care of, possibly. And that was my biggest concern. Especially since it was going to be at least $2500. So yay for that problem gone. Other than that there are just negatives. He may or may not make it to Maddies wedding. Which sucks. He is probably not going to come to Utah. No, he's not coming. No probably. Not coming to San Diego. Not going to be here in general, anniversaries, birthdays. Luckily he'll be here for Logans, or I'll kill him.
Logan time. Happy time. He hasn't been sleeping super well. Yay for me. ie last night he went to bed at 930, up at 11 but right back down. Up at 1230, fed and back down. Up screaming at 130... and we're up. Screaming. Finally i lay in our bed with him listening to lullaby music and at some point before 230 he fell back asleep, sideways. And we tossed and turned all night. Joy. And every day has been insanely busy and I'm tired. But do I get a break? or a nap? nah... moms don't do that right? Other than sleep, he's adorable. Growing so fast. He's so close to walking. He'll reach for something and be a step away and start to step but panic and just fall log a chopped down tree into the couch, or us or whatever he was going for. So close to taking steps. And he looooves screaming. Anytime he's excited, high pitched ears bleeding screams. So funny. He LOVES water. LOVES LOVES LOVES. Anytime a faucet is on, he comes crawling and screaming. He has to play in it. Can't just watch it. He's started to try and climb over the edge of the tub, lifts his fat little leg, not quite high enough thank goodness. And he just plays and plays in the tub. Flops around, splashes, belly to back, and falling all over. He's such a fun kid. Just not last night.
Had to get in the water at Angel's Bday dinner.
And then screamed when he had to get out.
We bought a fancy DSLR camera with some of our tax money. Ugh. So much money. We've talked about one for years. And finally caved. Because we keep talking about it. We really do want to use it and get good. And I know it's a thing right now, but it's been a thing I've wanted to do since high school, but I'd love to have a little thing on the side and do family shoots, seniors, babies, engagements. I'm too scared to ever say weddings. But maybe one day when we're good enough :] We've just messed around with taking Logan's pics and two senior ones. And for every 20 shots I think there's one perfect one. Not bad. For beginner with no training. Just reading online and getting out there. Hopefully one day it will be for every 20 shots there's only one bad one !
And that's my life right now. Work is always the same. Getting excited for our conference in San Diego next month ! Summer will be interesting. At least I have Utah at the end of May (my mom's getting married! Yay!!) And then a little loop through the east coast from DC to NJ to NY back here. Weddings. Two. In a row. Fun fun ! And then getting my husband back. So far I have nothing going on in June, if anyone has anything they want me to come to lemme know !
I'll write more later when its not 11:54am and I'm starving. Toodles !
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Our New Beginnings Come Unto Christ: Diamonds in the Rough 2014
We had our ward New Beginning's last night. We did the (typical, I'm noticing) theme of "Diamonds in the Rough" that I'm seeing everywhere. I don't feel bad doing the same as a lot of other places, because the girls like glitzy glam stuff and its fancy, and it goes SO well with the youth theme this year of "Come unto Christ and be perfected in Him." I love the idea of our hidden potential to become perfect beautiful diamonds if we come unto Christ, allow the trials and pressures of life work on us, and become shaped into something beautiful.
We invited all the parents, family members, and bishopric to come enjoy in this evening. Of course we had fancy invitations that we handed out a few weeks prior and mailed to those we didn't catch at church.
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We invited all the parents, family members, and bishopric to come enjoy in this evening. Of course we had fancy invitations that we handed out a few weeks prior and mailed to those we didn't catch at church.
Fancy schmancy!
Then we set out to decorate the black and white and light pink the girls requested. We are so blessed to have wonderful sisters in our ward who have collected decorations over the years from weddings, and proms and whatever events and we got to pick and choose from their stash. So lucky ! And we came up with the following:
The program table. (Iron needed, I know!) Got the Theme print out here.
Absolutely loved the idea of the girls pictures surrounding Christ. They were excited to see their pictures and take them home. This was probably my favorite part.
The table post closing prayer. Excuse the mess :]
Oh and admire my awesome cupcakes I made. Um.. yummy? First time with fancy frosting and I love it!
The program was very simple. We didn't want a long program, hours into an already long Sunday. We had a talk by our YW President, introducing the theme for the night, Diamonds in the Rough, and talked about the diamond process and how we can relate this to Coming unto Christ. We also had a talk by the YW Secretary who's over the Personal Progress and her talk was on... Personal Progress! And how we can Come unto Christ through Personal Progress. Which you can get more info here.
From here we turned the time over to the YW and they presented Jenny Phillips program "Come Unto Christ" which can be found on her website. We just swapped out her music for ours, for time constraints of learning the songs and we have instrument talent we wanted to show case.
But we did have the girls learn and sing the theme song, Come Unto Christ (so good!) and an arrangement of I'm Trying to be like Jesus with a beautiful vilolin part, and a few more Christ related songs.
After that we presented a homemade "Mormon Message" by yours truely (that I wanted to make for my faith project). We previously recorded the girls answering the questions: What does it mean to Come unto Christ, how do you plan to come unto Christ and how has/does Personal Progress help you come unto Christ? I then did some snazzy editing in iMovie (woo!) and smashed it all together and go this!
You can also go to the YouTube link here!
All credit goes to the artists for their pictures & the song is the minus track of Come unto Christ.
It was so incredible to make this video. Being able to sit in on their testimonies and here their answers was amazing. I had to be very aware, because I'd get teary eyed but couldn't cry since sniffles wouldn't be easy to edit out of the video!
We also made them tiles with cut vinyl (shout out to my awesome cricut!) and had each one for the girls.
Simple. Nothing fancy. We just wanted something for the girls to take home. Tied to the back is a copy of the video I made in a little sleeve so they can keep it forever and watch it everyday, right girls?
All in all, it was a very stressful event. We had SO many mishaps along the way. Nothing big, but just one thing after the other. The poor YW president and I were so ready to rip our hair out. But by the end we knew it was just Satan trying to frustrate the whole evening and stop us from having this event. Which we knew the Lord wanted so we persevered and survived ! And loved it. So many stories and memories.
Here's one for the road ;]
Oh that happened. ::shivers::
It was a wonderful night. With wonderful girls and the wonderful spirit. I loved seeing the girls showcase their talents and testimony. And hearing the rave reviews of the night from so many. I love being back in this calling !
Our beautiful girls !
Thursday, February 20, 2014
To food, or not to food?
I had this thought a few weeks ago. I've been trying to figure out how to say this.
In the past few years, decade, whatever, people have become more health conscious. All natural, organic, free range, grain fed, no genetically modified, pesticide blahblahblah. There's movements, movies, groups, songs [maybe not] all about the horrible things in our food and the horrible things you are then putting into your bodies.
While I'm not saying we shouldn't be worried, or wary, or conscious about the GM foods, high fructose corn syrup and whatever else people are up in arms about, I thought of some other things we take into our bodies, that aren't as good.. But we aren't picketing these things.
So here's my picket sign.
Maybe because I'm getting old. Maybe because I have "mature" [haha] taste.
Do you stop and think about the music you listen to? What about the movies? What's the language like, the scenes? What about those friends you choose to be around? I'm not talking about the school hall talk; obviously you can't control that and you need to be in school or work. But when you choose to be around those people.
The standards for members of the church have been set forth in the "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet, which surprisingly isn't just for youth. In the entertainment & media section, the First Presidency has stated, "Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in anything that presents immorality or violence as acceptable. Have the courage to walk out of a movie, change your music, or turn off a computer, television, or mobile device if what you see or hear drives away the Spirit."
Pretty straight forward?
There is more information in other sections, language, music & dancing, friends, etc. We've been directed by modern Prophets on what things to allow "into our bodies" and what things to stay away from.
So where are the news crews headlining this? Where are the documentaries, the protesters demanding awareness for these spiritually detrimental things we allow in our bodies, our families, our children?
Food for thought.
[pun intended]
In the past few years, decade, whatever, people have become more health conscious. All natural, organic, free range, grain fed, no genetically modified, pesticide blahblahblah. There's movements, movies, groups, songs [maybe not] all about the horrible things in our food and the horrible things you are then putting into your bodies.
While I'm not saying we shouldn't be worried, or wary, or conscious about the GM foods, high fructose corn syrup and whatever else people are up in arms about, I thought of some other things we take into our bodies, that aren't as good.. But we aren't picketing these things.
So here's my picket sign.
Maybe because I'm getting old. Maybe because I have "mature" [haha] taste.
Do you stop and think about the music you listen to? What about the movies? What's the language like, the scenes? What about those friends you choose to be around? I'm not talking about the school hall talk; obviously you can't control that and you need to be in school or work. But when you choose to be around those people.
The standards for members of the church have been set forth in the "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet, which surprisingly isn't just for youth. In the entertainment & media section, the First Presidency has stated, "Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in anything that presents immorality or violence as acceptable. Have the courage to walk out of a movie, change your music, or turn off a computer, television, or mobile device if what you see or hear drives away the Spirit."
Pretty straight forward?
There is more information in other sections, language, music & dancing, friends, etc. We've been directed by modern Prophets on what things to allow "into our bodies" and what things to stay away from.
So where are the news crews headlining this? Where are the documentaries, the protesters demanding awareness for these spiritually detrimental things we allow in our bodies, our families, our children?
Food for thought.
[pun intended]
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